FREEDOM

Good evening, dear readers!  Well, it has been the requisite two weeks since I told you I had some news to share with you so tonight is the night...  The time has come that I can close one major chapter in the book of things that has happened since the divorce.  When the wasband left, I had a huge financial decision to make -- file for bankruptcy or to enter credit counseling.  After weighing the pros and cons of both, I made the decision for myself to enter credit counseling (looking back, I think some of my decision was based on my stubbornness but that's beside the point now).  After years of having that monthly reminder taken from my checking account, I can proudly say that I have made my final payment!  There were times I seriously questioned my decision and wondered if I should've just declared bankruptcy but I am proud of myself for seeing it through until the end.  I know it's going to take some getting used to that this chapter is closed but it is a VERY good feeling!

I feel as if making this last payment truly signifies the end of all of my divorce mess/headaches.  I have had no contact with the wasband for years (thankfully) but I have had this connection to him as long as these payments have still had to be paid.  I know that I felt by having to enter credit counseling I was a failure (and that feeling runs true with being divorced as well) but I know it was a responsible thing for me to do.  With this last payment, I feel as if I really am free.  It's a good feeling.

One of the ways I've already planned on "rewarding" myself for this accomplishment is I'm going to order myself another belly dance sword.  Yes, this new one will make sword #4 and I am totally okay with that.  Mom showed me this particular sword when I was on vacation this summer and I've been dreaming of it since.  When she showed it to me, she recommended that I wait to order it until I had made this last payment and look at it as if I'm slicing free from my past and look towards my future.  I look forward to that.

I know that having all of this debt paid off and my new sword aren't going to "fix" me but I feel as if I can really start a new chapter of my life.  I'm going to try and be responsible with having this 'extra' money every month and am going to put some money aside into a savings account for when those unexpected expenses come up (both good unexpected expenses and not so good unexpected expenses).  Yes, it may take some self discipline because it'll be nice not to have to worry about that money automatically getting pulled out of my account each month but it will also be a real sense of relief.

Well, my dear readers, I think I'm going to sign off for the evening.  I know that I have a long week ahead of me at work and I have a performance to prepare for this weekend (and one next weekend as well).  I hope we all have opportunities to find/show our muchness this upcoming week.  I know one of my biggest muchness moments comes from knowing I can close yet another section of my divorce.

{On another note, I have been so excited about paying off the last of my credit counseling bill that I forgot to thank you for being loyal readers for yet another year of Gypsy's Quest.  Can you believe we've been together for 4 years?!  Thank you for believing in me from day 1 and helping me along this journey!  If you have joined us since then, thanks for joining me along my quest!  THANK YOU all from the bottom of my heart!  ~ Gypsy}