I was looking at the stats of my blog and I was surprised to realize that today marks year five of Gypsy's Quest and this is my 268th post. There are days that I feel as if I've barely scratched the surface of what I want to write about and there are other days that I wonder how I've had so much to say.
This past weekend has been filled with multiple belly dance performances and my body is tired. We had a parade and a street performance yesterday and we performed at two different festivals today. This weekend was pretty warm and during one of the performances today I think I got a little brain fried and I forgot some of the choreography. I was able to fake it until I remembered it again but I did get a little frustrated with myself for such a "rookie" move. Oh, well. I made it through all of the performances and I actually got some pretty interesting compliments from audience members after each of them...
After the parade, as we were getting ready for the street performance, I had a gentleman approach me out of the blue and tell me that he thought out of all of the dancers from the studio, I looked like I was having the most fun during the parade. As we were gathering our things after the street performance, I had someone approach me and ask me if I was the troupe leader because my moves/attitude made them think that I was. Today, at both performances, I danced my sword solo. I had several people approach me today and tell me what an inspiration I was - some told me they had always wanted to try belly dance but were self conscious and they now want to try; others said that they enjoyed watching me during the whole show because of the attitude I portray; I had complete strangers wanting to have their picture taken with me specifically after the performances because they enjoyed my dancing so much; and my instructor even said that she enjoys watching me dance because when I step out on the stage (especially with my sword) it's like a switch gets flipped in me and I become a different person when I dance.
All of these different interactions/comments I took to heart. Even though people have told me some of these things before, I never have really seen myself as an inspiration to others but I'm glad that I can be. I had one woman approach me today and she told me that she felt compelled to talk to me after the performance. She said that she's always wanted to try belly dance but thought because of her curves she wouldn't be any good at it so she's never bothered. She told me after my performance particularly that she is going to rethink a great many things. I told her that I hoped she would give belly dance a try if that's what she wanted to do and she shouldn't limit herself just because she's a curvy gal.
While I was talking with her I realized that I need to say some of the things I was saying to her to myself. There are times I limit myself for different reasons (and some of them do boil down to me being a bigger/curvy gal) but I want to start seeing myself in a different light. I want the dancer/performer me to show on a regular basis. I have seen what my instructor was talking about today with the switch being flipped when I perform (especially with my sword) - I become me; the me that I am often afraid to show to others for whatever reason. This is something for me to work on showing on a regular basis instead of when I'm just performing.
As I enter into my next year of writing I am curious to see where it leads me. Thank you, my dear readers, for those of you who have been with me along the entire journey thus far and to those of you who have just recently joined. I think the performances from this weekend are starting to catch up to me and I am feeling myself drifting to sleep. I get tomorrow off of work (YIPPEE!) and I'm hopefully going to take the opportunity to do some things for me. We'll see what happens though... =)
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Muchness opportunities
It was a very long and crazy week and I'm really hoping that the week ahead is a much better one... I unfortunately ended up working long hours again at work (one day we had a mandatory staff meeting, another night I ended up teaching a 1st Aid/CPR class and the rest of the week I worked from about 7:30 am - 6:15 or so pm) and it has left my tank on less than empty. Feeling overwhelmed on Friday I had a mini-meltdown towards one of my coworkers - I had just walked back into the building after a soul-sucking meeting, he said he was going to give me minute to process things before filling me in on what happened in my absence and then just started dumping new stuff on me; things didn't go well after that... I did apologize to him (I genuinely felt bad) but it also helps to justify to me that I need to take a day or two off of work and de-stress. Why do I allow myself to get to the point where I don't seem to have anything left to give and yet I still attempt to keep pushing myself?
I had mentioned, in passing, to my boss this past week that soon I would need to bring my calendar to her and look at when I could have a day or two off of work. Her reply was that I had earned it so I think I need to take her up on it. I don't have anything necessarily that I would like to accomplish with that time off other than to find a way eliminate some stress from my life. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to eliminate said stress; maybe I need to go whale watching or the the aquarium or zoo. I'm sure if I had some time off, I would find something to do that I want to do. Granted, next weekend is a three-day weekend however we have quite a few things going on with dance in those three days -- Saturday we have a parade and then a short performance and then on Sunday we have two full performances. I'm sure it'll all be fun but it won't necessarily be a restful weekend by any means.
Yesterday I got word that my new glasses were ready to pick up so I made the drive to go and get them (I had to drive about 35-40 minutes to pick them up). I approached the counter and the lab tech immediately said, "you must be here to pick up the polka dot glasses." I laughed and told him that I was. He brought them out to me and when I put them on and looked in the mirror, I loved them as much as I did last week when I picked them out. I later wondered what the lab tech would've done if I would have told him that I, in fact, had really boring glasses or if I would've asked him why he just assumed mine were the polka dot ones. Oh, well. I love them and that's what matters, right?
In an effort to carpe diem (like I wrote about last week), I did something yesterday that I did just for me and I really don't care what other people might issue as their vote (refer to last week's post if you're confused). After going to the dance studio and then getting a bite to eat, I was talking with my sister about how I've been feeling lately and she asked me how long it had been since I'd done something just for me. I gave it some thought and it's been awhile. So, after talking with her, I decided to take myself to a piercing shop that's near the dance studio that I've been wanting to go to forever. The piercer was with someone when I walked in and he encouraged me to walk around/look at the jewelry while he finished up. As I looked in the cases, one of the pieces jumped out at me immediately!
When the piercer was finished with the clients he'd been helping, he approached me and asked if there was something in particular I was looking at getting done. I showed him the jewelry that was speaking to me and he told me he had been waiting for just the right person to come in for that particular piece. The jewelry piece that I picked out is an ear spiral - it's a coil that required three piercings in my ear and it's threaded through. As I was talking to the piercer, there were options to the jewelry I had picked out - it's made out of titanium and could be anodized (changed color using electricity and other stuff I really didn't understand much) so we made it a brass color. Then I got to pick what I wanted on either end and I opted for fire opals (opals are my birthstone). He talked to me through the whole process and told me that I took the piercing like a champ. I love the look of it and am so pleased that I had it done. Yes, my ear is sore/red today but what do I expect after having three holes put it and a spiral run through it?
I know that some people (or a lot of people) might not understand why I might want to have a spiral/coil running along my left ear but I'm okay with that. This was my muchness moment and I can't stop looking at it. One day the novelty of it will wear off and it will be just another piercing (I now have a total of 12 holes between my two ears) but I'm going to enjoy it now and I can always change the jewels on the end to change the look of it. I'm supposed to go back for the piecer to take a look at it in a week or two so he can see how it's healing so hopefully it will be healing like it's supposed to.
Well, my dear readers, I should probably bring this to a close, take some more pain medication, spray my ear with salt water solution and think about heading to bed. I've been trying to read a little bit each night before going to bed and it seems to be helping me to get to sleep (I really hope I didn't just jinx myself...). I hope you each have the opportunity for at least one muchness moment this upcoming week and if one doesn't present itself, I hope you create one for yourself! I'm going to do the same. =)
I had mentioned, in passing, to my boss this past week that soon I would need to bring my calendar to her and look at when I could have a day or two off of work. Her reply was that I had earned it so I think I need to take her up on it. I don't have anything necessarily that I would like to accomplish with that time off other than to find a way eliminate some stress from my life. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to eliminate said stress; maybe I need to go whale watching or the the aquarium or zoo. I'm sure if I had some time off, I would find something to do that I want to do. Granted, next weekend is a three-day weekend however we have quite a few things going on with dance in those three days -- Saturday we have a parade and then a short performance and then on Sunday we have two full performances. I'm sure it'll all be fun but it won't necessarily be a restful weekend by any means.
Yesterday I got word that my new glasses were ready to pick up so I made the drive to go and get them (I had to drive about 35-40 minutes to pick them up). I approached the counter and the lab tech immediately said, "you must be here to pick up the polka dot glasses." I laughed and told him that I was. He brought them out to me and when I put them on and looked in the mirror, I loved them as much as I did last week when I picked them out. I later wondered what the lab tech would've done if I would have told him that I, in fact, had really boring glasses or if I would've asked him why he just assumed mine were the polka dot ones. Oh, well. I love them and that's what matters, right?
In an effort to carpe diem (like I wrote about last week), I did something yesterday that I did just for me and I really don't care what other people might issue as their vote (refer to last week's post if you're confused). After going to the dance studio and then getting a bite to eat, I was talking with my sister about how I've been feeling lately and she asked me how long it had been since I'd done something just for me. I gave it some thought and it's been awhile. So, after talking with her, I decided to take myself to a piercing shop that's near the dance studio that I've been wanting to go to forever. The piercer was with someone when I walked in and he encouraged me to walk around/look at the jewelry while he finished up. As I looked in the cases, one of the pieces jumped out at me immediately!
When the piercer was finished with the clients he'd been helping, he approached me and asked if there was something in particular I was looking at getting done. I showed him the jewelry that was speaking to me and he told me he had been waiting for just the right person to come in for that particular piece. The jewelry piece that I picked out is an ear spiral - it's a coil that required three piercings in my ear and it's threaded through. As I was talking to the piercer, there were options to the jewelry I had picked out - it's made out of titanium and could be anodized (changed color using electricity and other stuff I really didn't understand much) so we made it a brass color. Then I got to pick what I wanted on either end and I opted for fire opals (opals are my birthstone). He talked to me through the whole process and told me that I took the piercing like a champ. I love the look of it and am so pleased that I had it done. Yes, my ear is sore/red today but what do I expect after having three holes put it and a spiral run through it?
I know that some people (or a lot of people) might not understand why I might want to have a spiral/coil running along my left ear but I'm okay with that. This was my muchness moment and I can't stop looking at it. One day the novelty of it will wear off and it will be just another piercing (I now have a total of 12 holes between my two ears) but I'm going to enjoy it now and I can always change the jewels on the end to change the look of it. I'm supposed to go back for the piecer to take a look at it in a week or two so he can see how it's healing so hopefully it will be healing like it's supposed to.
Well, my dear readers, I should probably bring this to a close, take some more pain medication, spray my ear with salt water solution and think about heading to bed. I've been trying to read a little bit each night before going to bed and it seems to be helping me to get to sleep (I really hope I didn't just jinx myself...). I hope you each have the opportunity for at least one muchness moment this upcoming week and if one doesn't present itself, I hope you create one for yourself! I'm going to do the same. =)
Sunday, August 17, 2014
What will your verse be?
When I heard the sad news this past week of the passing of Robin Williams, I began to think of some of my favorite movies where he was one of the characters. The movie that kept coming to my mind was "Dead Poets Society." I always found the story inspiring -- a teacher who connected with his students on such a level that they stood up to the administration when he was let go. He also taught them how to reach down inside themselves to show the world who they truly were (even when it scared them to death). One of the lines that stuck with me is where Mr. Keeting (Robin Williams character) is taking to the class about poetry and he quotes the Walt Whitman poem "O me! O life!" and then asks them a question - that you are here - that life exists and identity, that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.... what will your verse be?
What do I want my verse to be? I'm not necessarily looking at it as what legacy do I want to leave behind but how do I want people to think of me in the here and now? Do I want them to see me as the person who just fades away or someone who doesn't care what other people think of them and I just decide to be me? I think I'm going to be me.
This past weekend, I decided to have my eyes checked (something that I've been thinking I need to do for a little bit now) and I bought new glasses. I found a pair I liked on-line, made the appointment, made sure they had the frames I wanted and I went. As soon as I saw the frames and tried them on, I was done. I'm usually the one who has to try on every pair of glasses on the wall before deciding on a pair of frames and this time I decided in 2.5 seconds. I love them and the only thing I'm sad about is I have to wait on getting them because they needed to order my lenses. The glasses that I ordered are black with white polkadots all over them and they are so much fun! Something the eye doctor recommended for me because I do so much computer work these days and my prescription is mostly for distance that I might want to consider progressive lenses that have my distance prescription at the top and a computer distance prescription towards the bottom. Because I don't really want to think about having progressive lenses yet (I'm only 33), I bought a second pair of glasses for computer work. My second pair is purple tortoiseshell and they're lots of fun too. I don't really mind the thought of having another pair of glasses for while I'm working on the computer and I can basically just leave them on my desk at work since that's where I'll mostly be using them. I'm just glad I didn't go boring with either pair.
A few weeks ago, I might have been tempted to buy a boring pair (or two) of glasses because for whatever reason, I took down my freak flag, folded it up, put it in a box and tucked the box away. Why I did that, I have no clue. What's important though is I've decided to unearth the box, unfurl my flag and fly it proudly again. Now, those of you who might be unfamiliar with my concept of a freak flag (and there are different versions of them out there), it's being yourself no matter what; finding something about yourself that you don't change out of fear of what others may think/say. Mom actually gave me an interesting thought today along these lines... So many times, other people feel as if they have a vote or a say in our lives. Rather than giving into those votes, why not tell them their vote has been noted as a "no" vote but I get to have the ultimate decision making power in my life.
Maybe one of the reasons I'm feeling feisty/rebellious is I had a dream this past week that left me shaken and I woke up in a cold sweat... I was in an airport, headed somewhere and my ex-husband approached me. He was wearing adult footie pajamas (think little kid one-piece pajamas with the butt-flap) and he begged me to forgive him so he could move on with his life. I walked away from him and got on a plane. Weird, huh? When I woke up, I didn't really feel anything for him - not pity, not anger, no feelings for wanting him back (there is NO WAY I want him back)... The only thing I felt was confusion for why I dreamed about him. Friends/family have asked me if I've tried to interpret the dream at all (him being in the pajamas show that how he left was infantile; me getting on a plane is showing my readiness to move on....) but I've tried not to dwell on it too much honestly. I've tried to close that chapter in my life and I don't want to go back there...
I know that the past helps to form who we are but I want to look towards what my future may hold and I want to determine what verse I will contribute. I'm going to bring this to a close for tonight and think on it before going to bed. I hope you have the opportunity to do something for yourselves this week my dear readers and that you can find ways to be you... =) Carpe diem (also from Dead Poets Society)
What do I want my verse to be? I'm not necessarily looking at it as what legacy do I want to leave behind but how do I want people to think of me in the here and now? Do I want them to see me as the person who just fades away or someone who doesn't care what other people think of them and I just decide to be me? I think I'm going to be me.
This past weekend, I decided to have my eyes checked (something that I've been thinking I need to do for a little bit now) and I bought new glasses. I found a pair I liked on-line, made the appointment, made sure they had the frames I wanted and I went. As soon as I saw the frames and tried them on, I was done. I'm usually the one who has to try on every pair of glasses on the wall before deciding on a pair of frames and this time I decided in 2.5 seconds. I love them and the only thing I'm sad about is I have to wait on getting them because they needed to order my lenses. The glasses that I ordered are black with white polkadots all over them and they are so much fun! Something the eye doctor recommended for me because I do so much computer work these days and my prescription is mostly for distance that I might want to consider progressive lenses that have my distance prescription at the top and a computer distance prescription towards the bottom. Because I don't really want to think about having progressive lenses yet (I'm only 33), I bought a second pair of glasses for computer work. My second pair is purple tortoiseshell and they're lots of fun too. I don't really mind the thought of having another pair of glasses for while I'm working on the computer and I can basically just leave them on my desk at work since that's where I'll mostly be using them. I'm just glad I didn't go boring with either pair.
A few weeks ago, I might have been tempted to buy a boring pair (or two) of glasses because for whatever reason, I took down my freak flag, folded it up, put it in a box and tucked the box away. Why I did that, I have no clue. What's important though is I've decided to unearth the box, unfurl my flag and fly it proudly again. Now, those of you who might be unfamiliar with my concept of a freak flag (and there are different versions of them out there), it's being yourself no matter what; finding something about yourself that you don't change out of fear of what others may think/say. Mom actually gave me an interesting thought today along these lines... So many times, other people feel as if they have a vote or a say in our lives. Rather than giving into those votes, why not tell them their vote has been noted as a "no" vote but I get to have the ultimate decision making power in my life.
Maybe one of the reasons I'm feeling feisty/rebellious is I had a dream this past week that left me shaken and I woke up in a cold sweat... I was in an airport, headed somewhere and my ex-husband approached me. He was wearing adult footie pajamas (think little kid one-piece pajamas with the butt-flap) and he begged me to forgive him so he could move on with his life. I walked away from him and got on a plane. Weird, huh? When I woke up, I didn't really feel anything for him - not pity, not anger, no feelings for wanting him back (there is NO WAY I want him back)... The only thing I felt was confusion for why I dreamed about him. Friends/family have asked me if I've tried to interpret the dream at all (him being in the pajamas show that how he left was infantile; me getting on a plane is showing my readiness to move on....) but I've tried not to dwell on it too much honestly. I've tried to close that chapter in my life and I don't want to go back there...
I know that the past helps to form who we are but I want to look towards what my future may hold and I want to determine what verse I will contribute. I'm going to bring this to a close for tonight and think on it before going to bed. I hope you have the opportunity to do something for yourselves this week my dear readers and that you can find ways to be you... =) Carpe diem (also from Dead Poets Society)
Sunday, August 10, 2014
just let go
While at church today, the children's message caught my attention and the basis of that lesson has stayed with me today. The pastor used an object lesson when she talked with the kids today and the object she used was a piece of rope. I know that's a strange object to use but it made a connection. What she said was: imaging you're hanging by this rope off the edge of a cliff and you're holding on for dear life - in order to move, you have to let go of the rope. The looks on the kid's faces were a combination of shock and terror when she said that and one of them spoke up and said there was no way they would let go of the rope. The pastor calmly explained to them that sometimes in order for us to move and grow we have to face something scary like letting go of a rope or we can't move at all. I think it's time for me to let go of the rope.
I'm not planning on letting go with both hands or anything like that (even though there are days it's felt like a possibility) but I know that in order to move, I have to let go with one hand at a time. From rereading some of my posts I written lately, I have been desperately clinging to the rope with both hands, while feeling as if I'm going to fall at any given moment, so there has been no way I would let go for anything. Because of just dangling off the precipice, I have been limiting my own growth potential.
I know that one of the ways I've been limiting myself is by working too many hours and struggling with my stress levels. This past week was the last week of summer camp for my building and I looked at the number of hours I worked over the 8 week summer -- a regular full time employee put in 320 hours in that time; I worked 470 hours (and got paid for 320 of them). I know that as a manager, there will be times that I'm required to put in more hours at work than a full time employee but working an extra 150 hours in 8 weeks is more than just a little excessive. My boss actually told me one day this past week that I needed to go home because I needed to learn how to take care of myself. From how I've been feeling, I know that I definitely need to work on this skill...
I need to get to the point that I let work go at the end of the day and have it be a "normal" work day. I don't have to try and be super human all the time and I am entitled to take time off, too. You may not believe it but I'm really not a control freak - I am a perfectionist though and there are times I find it just easier to complete a task myself. I need to learn how to let go, task things to other people and be okay with however they complete said task just so it's not one more thing for me to have to take care of. As a manager, I know I need to work on my delegation skills because if I'm too stressed, I cannot be as effective as I'd like to be, and people are going to resent working in the building I manage.
One of the things I'm going to try and do this week..... wait I'm going to stop myself right there.... I need to stop using the word try.... Do or do not - there is no try (thanks, Yoda). One of the things I'm going to do this week is do one thing each day that's just for me. That one thing each day doesn't have to be anything big but it's going to be something that's for me and something that I want to do (rather than things that I need to do). I think if I make a conscious effort to write down what I do for me each day it will help hold myself accountable to this goal rather than just pushing myself aside.
The thing I'm going to do for myself today is I'm going to turn off the electronics (except for my phone; I have to have it on for work purposes) and read a book before going to bed. I know I haven't mentioned anything about it in some time (and maybe that's part of my problem) but I'm also going to think about ways to let my freak flag fly this week and to just let go. I hope that each and every one of you find a way to do the same! Have a great week, my dear readers! =)
I'm not planning on letting go with both hands or anything like that (even though there are days it's felt like a possibility) but I know that in order to move, I have to let go with one hand at a time. From rereading some of my posts I written lately, I have been desperately clinging to the rope with both hands, while feeling as if I'm going to fall at any given moment, so there has been no way I would let go for anything. Because of just dangling off the precipice, I have been limiting my own growth potential.
I know that one of the ways I've been limiting myself is by working too many hours and struggling with my stress levels. This past week was the last week of summer camp for my building and I looked at the number of hours I worked over the 8 week summer -- a regular full time employee put in 320 hours in that time; I worked 470 hours (and got paid for 320 of them). I know that as a manager, there will be times that I'm required to put in more hours at work than a full time employee but working an extra 150 hours in 8 weeks is more than just a little excessive. My boss actually told me one day this past week that I needed to go home because I needed to learn how to take care of myself. From how I've been feeling, I know that I definitely need to work on this skill...
I need to get to the point that I let work go at the end of the day and have it be a "normal" work day. I don't have to try and be super human all the time and I am entitled to take time off, too. You may not believe it but I'm really not a control freak - I am a perfectionist though and there are times I find it just easier to complete a task myself. I need to learn how to let go, task things to other people and be okay with however they complete said task just so it's not one more thing for me to have to take care of. As a manager, I know I need to work on my delegation skills because if I'm too stressed, I cannot be as effective as I'd like to be, and people are going to resent working in the building I manage.
One of the things I'm going to try and do this week..... wait I'm going to stop myself right there.... I need to stop using the word try.... Do or do not - there is no try (thanks, Yoda). One of the things I'm going to do this week is do one thing each day that's just for me. That one thing each day doesn't have to be anything big but it's going to be something that's for me and something that I want to do (rather than things that I need to do). I think if I make a conscious effort to write down what I do for me each day it will help hold myself accountable to this goal rather than just pushing myself aside.
The thing I'm going to do for myself today is I'm going to turn off the electronics (except for my phone; I have to have it on for work purposes) and read a book before going to bed. I know I haven't mentioned anything about it in some time (and maybe that's part of my problem) but I'm also going to think about ways to let my freak flag fly this week and to just let go. I hope that each and every one of you find a way to do the same! Have a great week, my dear readers! =)
Sunday, August 3, 2014
on/off switch
There are nights like last night and days like today that I wish my brain had an on/off switch. I wasn't able to fall asleep until after midnight and then I was plagued with some pretty disturbing dreams. One of the reasons I had difficulty falling asleep is the troupe had a gig today and I wasn't really looking forward to it. Don't get me wrong - Mom had made me a beautiful costume (the troupe had decided to wear one we haven't worn in some time and the one she made for me looks like it's made out of liquid gold) but I really am not a fan of how it fits my body type. Granted, it probably doesn't help that I really am unhappy with my current body type and I know it is what it is because of stress levels.
I failed again at leaving work when I was "supposed" to this week and ended up working 12 hour days 4 out of 5 of the work week (I left about 4:30 on Monday). I know that I really need to do a better job of just walking away from the building when my work day is done. I haven't figured out quite yet how to just leave the work day behind and know that it will be there when I get to the building the next day. I even set an alarm to go off to signal my end of day and found reasons to ignore it every single time. Granted, I know that I'm the boss and some days I'm going to have to put in more than an 8 hour work day - but doing it almost every single day for the last eight weeks.... Enough is enough. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I mentally, physically and emotionally cannot continue along this path.
Luckily this upcoming week should be the end of these long hours but that doesn't necessarily help me figure out how to eliminate the stress from my life. I know that most people would say to just go out and get a massage but I have only ever had one and I didn't like it (the masseuse kept yelling at me to relax every two minutes and that was making me tense up even more and they finally gave up on me). I unfortunately have been one that turns to food when I'm stressed and I know that definitely needs to change. That stress eating is making me not happy with what I see in the mirror which is making me even more stressed. These are not good feelings overall... I know that I have brought all of this on myself and I do own that - now I just have to take measures to change it. Once I figure out what those changes are...
I know that this week's post is short but I think I'm going to bring this to a close for tonight, try to relax a little before going to bed and hopefully get some sleep before going into work tomorrow. I already know that tomorrow I'm going to be slightly short staffed as well as having to entertain at some point in the afternoon some of the "higher ups" who are coming for a building/program tour. I just have to remember to take things one at a time and do the best that I can at any given moment. But for now, I'm going to switch the brain switch to off...
I failed again at leaving work when I was "supposed" to this week and ended up working 12 hour days 4 out of 5 of the work week (I left about 4:30 on Monday). I know that I really need to do a better job of just walking away from the building when my work day is done. I haven't figured out quite yet how to just leave the work day behind and know that it will be there when I get to the building the next day. I even set an alarm to go off to signal my end of day and found reasons to ignore it every single time. Granted, I know that I'm the boss and some days I'm going to have to put in more than an 8 hour work day - but doing it almost every single day for the last eight weeks.... Enough is enough. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I mentally, physically and emotionally cannot continue along this path.
Luckily this upcoming week should be the end of these long hours but that doesn't necessarily help me figure out how to eliminate the stress from my life. I know that most people would say to just go out and get a massage but I have only ever had one and I didn't like it (the masseuse kept yelling at me to relax every two minutes and that was making me tense up even more and they finally gave up on me). I unfortunately have been one that turns to food when I'm stressed and I know that definitely needs to change. That stress eating is making me not happy with what I see in the mirror which is making me even more stressed. These are not good feelings overall... I know that I have brought all of this on myself and I do own that - now I just have to take measures to change it. Once I figure out what those changes are...
I know that this week's post is short but I think I'm going to bring this to a close for tonight, try to relax a little before going to bed and hopefully get some sleep before going into work tomorrow. I already know that tomorrow I'm going to be slightly short staffed as well as having to entertain at some point in the afternoon some of the "higher ups" who are coming for a building/program tour. I just have to remember to take things one at a time and do the best that I can at any given moment. But for now, I'm going to switch the brain switch to off...
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