Introvert challenges

This past week was whirlwind of challenges and emotions for me.  It started out with a confrontational situation last Sunday that had to do with work that left me feeling exhausted.  Through work, we had to deal with another department where something got messed up and I had to deal with it.  On my day off, I had to go into their building, deal with someone at the service desk (who didn't introduce herself, nor was she wearing her name tag) and I called her on her attitude when dealing with me.  On Monday, I got a call from her direct supervisor to find out what happened.  I filled her in and within 30 minutes, I had an apology email from the employee I had to deal with in person.  Did that email completely rectify things?  No.  But I was glad that I was able to bring the situation to light and hopefully keep something similar from happening to someone else.

I had another situation come up at work where I stood up for myself in a conversation with my boss.  I wasn't completing a particular task to her timetable (even though it was going to be completed before it was needed) and when she asked me about it, she asked me (in what I felt was a condescending tone) what she could personally remove from my plate in order to get this task accomplished.  I definitely don't like to be talked down to nor do I like it being made to seem as if I'm not going to complete a task by the deadline - so I called her on it.

Most people wouldn't see either of these interactions as particularly overwhelming or exhausting but as an introvert (and someone who is very introverted), I find situations such as this very taxing.  I realize that not everyone understands how I can be introverted when I'm a belly dancer and I wear wild/colorful/patterned clothing and have colored/crazy hair, but how I feel inside and how people closest to me know me, I am an introvert.  I came across an online group this week for introverts and I joined it - it's nice to know that there are people out there who feel like I do, who "get" me, and yet I'll never have to interact in person with them!  There is a comfort in that fact.  There is also a comfort in realizing how many of my immediate family are also introverts or have introvert tendencies.

This past week, I also had to complete some pre-coursework for a conference/training I'm headed to next week and it left me feeling pretty low.  I am taking a course at this upcoming conference/training which allows managers to see what their personality type is and how they can/can't work with other personality types.  In the pre-coursework, we were supposed to answer questions based on how we see ourselves as a manager and to not overthink the questions/answers but to answer honestly about ourselves.  Naturally, I overthought the questions/answers and at the end of the 25 questions (each question had four parts to it), I felt as if I must come across to people as a cold-hearted robot/witch and that I would rather take over projects because I am a control freak.  I'm not a control freak but I am a major perfectionist and I would rather just do a task/project myself vs. entrusting someone else to do it -- maybe that does make me a control freak, I don't know...

One of the great things I got to do happened today - one of my all time favorite movies was playing at the movie theatre and I took the entire afternoon to go and watch/enjoy it.  I love the movie "Gone With the Wind" and even though I spent most of my day on it, I think it was just how I needed to spend my time.  I don't always take the opportunities to do things for me and even though I had a dance performance Friday after work and another one that took most of my day yesterday (spent almost 5 hours driving to and from the location for 15 minutes on stage) but when I found out that "Gone With the Wind" would be playing, even on this busy weekend, I knew that I wanted to take the time for me to enjoy it.  I think some of the reasons I enjoy it so much is I can relate to Scarlett, have a Mom who embraces Mammy at times, was married to a man like Ashley (even though I need someone like Rhett) and I draw strength from being around family/home.

Well, my dear readers, I have quite a bit to accomplish at work in this upcoming week as I will be out of the building all next week for travel, so I should probably bring this to a close in order to prepare for the week ahead.  I know it is also going to be hectic as I am short staffed and the kids go back to school this week which always adds a different dimension to how they act (but after 8 weeks of summer programming, the staff and myself are SO ready for the kids to go back to school!).  I hope you embrace opportunities for you this week and thank you for joining me along my journey!  =)

Frustration levels

I am realizing that this past week became more about survival at work rather than me enjoying some of the things that happened.  I think this was bound to happen at this point in the summer as we just finished week seven of summer programming; I have put in approximately 430 hours at work (and that doesn't count the amount of work I have put in at home) and I am ready for this next week and a half to be done and over with.  Just to put it into perspective, "normal" full-time for these last seven weeks would have given me 280 hours.  Yes, summer coming to an end provides new sets of challenges as we roll into the beginning of the school year and are understaffed but it will end up working one way or another...

One of the things that I have been struggling with lately is my boss taking credit for things that I do when they go well but criticizing me when things don't go well.  I don't know why it should overly surprise me because it's been going on for quite some time now but that doesn't mean I have to like it or that it's not going to frustrate me.  Maybe it's just too reminiscent of group projects from school which an introvert such as myself always hated being forced into participating in with the result me doing the bulk of the work and everyone in the group "earning" the same grade that I did - I always found that to be extremely frustrating.  In a couple of weeks I will be attending a work conference where I'm slated to attend a two-day training on working with different personality types - maybe this will help my frustration levels since they are at an all time high.

Another reason I'm looking forward to going to this particular conference is I'll be meeting up with a good friend of mine who lives/works on the opposite coast and I am looking forward to seeing her again.  She and her family used to live here and she and I worked together.  We started forming our friendship right after the wasband and I split and she would eat my blue m&m's for me (I don't eat blue things).  Yes, she and I have a weird friendship but she gets me for me and I appreciate her for that.  We'll be in a different learning track but we'll be able to meet up in our "off time" to catch up.  It'll be nice to have someone to spend time with who gets me who isn't family.

There was a situation at my apartment this week that almost ended in disaster...  I put my dogs on leash to let them out for the last time for the evening, I opened the door and in the bush right outside my door was a skunk!  Luckily my dogs were on retractable leashes and I could haul their little butts back in the apartment and slam the door before the skunk sprayed.  We unfortunately had to still go outside for them to do their evening business but it was the quickest potty break they have ever done so that was a bonus.  Another bonus is that I have a air purifier right inside my apartment so I just turned it to the maximum setting and had it set on that for a day and a half so the scent could dissipate.  It was not a fun situation but it definitely could have been a whole lot worse!

This upcoming week isn't going to just be busy at work but at the dance studio as well.  We have two performances this week one on Friday that's here locally and one on Saturday that's approximately and hour and a half drive (one way) from here.  We're doing the same dances at both gigs but we can wear different costumes to the shows.  And then next weekend, we're performing again at a local festival where I've been invited to solo.  I'm slightly nervous about the solo but I'm sure that all will be well - at all of the performances.

Well my dear readers, since I have a busy week at work and dance, I should probably think about bringing this to a close, get myself together for the week ahead (or at least tomorrow) and heading to bed.  I hope that you have a week ahead where you can be yourselves with the least amount of drama/frustration as possible for you.  Thanks for joining me!  =)