Magic is almost gone...

It's been one of those weeks where, once again, the magic has mostly run out and I just barely was able to make things work on a daily basis.  Each day I had multiple staff call out and I was called upon to make the schedule work.  I'm not exactly sure how I am expected to continue to keep making things work but the fact that I've been able to each time it happens makes it difficult to convince others that things cannot continue along this path.  Hopefully we'll have some new staff start soon and that will help with some things but only time will tell...

I took a couple of opportunities to branch out some this past week by joining a new member's class at my parent's church and I went to a rehearsal for one of the handbell choirs also at the church.  The new member's class was interesting and over the next few weeks, I'm supposed to attend 2 or three more (I'd have to check the calendar).  As for handbells, I felt like somewhat of a failure there...  I had told the director that I had been part of a handbell choir before but it was a small group and the director marked music - this is a large group, the music isn't marked at all and because of time, he doesn't have time to wait for anyone.  He had placed me in a part I hadn't played before, wanted me to play four bells at one time, while using techniques I hadn't been taught before.  After about five minutes, he removed me from that position and had someone tutor me on learning bass chimes - we'll see how that works out in the long run...

Even though I had never learned what I was expected to know, I felt like a failure and like I was demoted from the part from bells to the chimes.  I know that I need to get to the point where I embrace the chime part but I'm not there currently.  Hopefully I will get to that point before the next rehearsal this week.

Yesterday was a bright spot in the bleak week because some of my family members gathered at my youngest brother's house for food and family fun.  We spent several hours playing video games, some balloon game my nephew invented and eating yummy food prepared by my brother and sister-in-law. Days like that definitely help to boost my spirits and I hope that I can carry those feelings into this upcoming week.

I have been beating myself up quite a bit this past week for things that were out of my control and it's been somewhat difficult to separate all of the reasoning behind feeling this way.  I know that I have felt beaten down by things happening at work as well as feeling somewhat like a loser for not being able to afford a house I have fallen in love with and I'm sure that it also stems from not getting enough sleep - again....  Since I'm behind on sleep, I should put the computer away for tonight in an attempt to head to bed.  Hopefully sleep will not elude me tonight...