Adaptation

What does it mean to adapt?  Who determines under what circumstances the adaptation should be experienced and who should experience said adaptation?  Because I'm a nerd (I've been a nerd all of my life and I don't see that word as holding a negative connotation), I go to the dictionary for the definition of adapt; according to Merriam-Webster, adapt means: 

• to change your behavior so that it is easier to live in a particular place or situation
• to change (something) so that it functions better or is better suited for a purpose
• to change (a movie, book, play, etc.) so that it can be presented in another form

Adaptation is not often easy but it is often necessary.  Sometimes multiple adaptations are necessary in order to make it through the day...

All of that being said, I have some adaptations being thrust upon me at work as one of my right hand employees has given her notice so she can move up in the organization and be the administrative assistant to my boss's boss.  While she is no doubt going to do an absolutely phenomenal job, I am left wondering what's going to happen to my building without her.  We are getting ready to go into our busiest time of year (8 weeks of summer programming) and I can have upwards of 60 kids in attendance each week; and some of the kids are only attending one or two weeks out of the summer so the paperwork alone is a nightmare.  I'm hoping to be able to find a qualified replacement, but until then, I get to do her work in addition to my own.  Adaptations are definitely going to need to come into play since I already work too many hours daily...

Because I work too many hours, I'm trying to come up with a way to make adaptations in how I approach my work day.  I don't know if I need to tell myself that I'm going to spend X number of hours in my office working on paperwork and X number of hours in programming or what I need to do but I know that I do need to make some sort of a change.  I know I spend too many hours a day cooped up in my office and I somehow need to change that - even if it's just taking a walk daily to get out of the office for a short time, I think it would help.  Since I focus so much on putting the needs of my staff ahead of my needs, I tend to just work through lunches at my desk and let them take the time they need out of the building and I stay behind.  I'm not wanting to get out of the building in order to "hang out" with them but to just escape and let my mind wander - which I'm not overly good at allowing it to do.  I think it's (my mind) too little to be wandering on it's own....  ;)

One of the things I am proud of was something we accomplished at work this past week.  For Red Nose Day, we held a food drive with the kids at the center and we were able to collect two barrels worth of food for the local food bank.  I don't work at an overly large center (about 100 kids from the preschoolers/after school kids/teens) and I was very proud that they were able to collect that much food.  For every kid who brought in a can of food, they got a red clown nose (Red Nose day is an opportunity for silliness to bring awareness to a cause - this year was childhood hunger); for those kids who brought in more than one can of food, they could give it to another child for them to turn in.  With the amount of food collected, every kid in the center, from preschool through teens, were able to "earn" their red nose.  For our first community reach out event, I felt as if we did really well.

I did allow myself to relax yesterday when I took myself to the movies.  I have been anxiously waiting for Alice Through the Looking Glass to be in theaters and that's what I took myself to see.  I definitely found it to be darker than the first movie but I don't necessarily mind that.  There were some profound statements made in the movie and concepts of impossibilities and muchness that I needed to hear.  Now my next step will be figuring out how to translate those concepts into my everyday life.

I have a tendency to put my exploration of impossibilities/muchness/my own quest on hold in order to accommodate others and I need to put a stop to doing that - I need to learn how to adapt in order to still be me in different situations.  I tend to put my wants/needs to the wayside and focus on what I perceive others wants/needs of me to be and in doing so, I start to see taste as impossible and my muchness as being too wild; I don't want to do that anymore.

Well, my dear readers, I need to bring this to a close.  I just realized what time it is and even though I get the day off of work tomorrow, I should probably get some sleep.  I, for one, am hoping to dream of impossibilities and muchness!  =)

Me time

It's funny/sad at the same time how little thought I give to doing things for myself and how much time I think about doing things for other people.  This past week, I worked approximately 58 hours over six days and I probably would have worked a few more if I didn't have a dentist appointment one day and have to leave work early to make my appointment.  One of the things I didn't like that the dentist told me is he said that he can tell I'm overly stressed because there is evidence of either clenching my jaw or starting to grind my teeth at night; if I don't do something about it, I'm going to end up in a night guard and that thought does not appeal to me.

After all of that, I opted to do several things for me today and, for the most part, I feel very good about those things.  I started my day by getting up very early (not so fun) and I went whale watching. I haven't gone in forever (in about a year) and today was a great day to go!  We ended up seeing three different types of whales (a minke, several humpbacks and lots of orcas), some dolphins, sea lions, jellyfish and different kinds of birds.  When I checked in at the stand, I was given a free upgrade to the upper deck of the boat and it just helped with the amazing view - it was a beautiful day out and the water was relatively calm (even though one guy ended up getting sea sick).  I enjoyed the time out on the water and it definitely helped make me feel more relaxed.

Once we got back to shore, I went to find my favorite crepe restaurant only to find that it had moved locations!  After an initial moment of panic, I was able to find the new location and enjoyed two different crepes - I had a lemon sugar one (a favorite of my mine and my Mom) and I splurged and had a homemade caramel one too.  While I consumed too many calories, today was about doing things for me so I didn't overly care.  And it helped that they were both super yummy!

When I got home, I did something that totally terrified me - I submitted my resume to an online job application.  It's a job that I thing I would enjoy and be good at but the thought of hitting the submit button and actually applying for it, makes my anxiety rise.  One of the things that made it difficult is I don't really do a good job advertising myself and thankfully my Dad helped me rework my resume - I definitely still have more work to do on my resume but I didn't have a chance to stress over it too much today since the job posting ended today and I had to send it.  We'll see what comes from it and go from there.

I know I come by second guessing decisions honestly (I think it's in my DNA since I know both my parents do it too) but I think I'm waiting for the day or the decision that just feels "right" that I don't feel the need to "what if" it to death.  Since today is not that day, I should probably bring this to a close and attempt to get some sleep tonight.  I know this isn't an overly long post, but I spent a good chunk of my afternoon working on my resume and I just realized what time it is so I should head to bed.  I am hoping that my newfound sense of wanting to do some things for me will spill over into my work week.  Thank you for joining me, my dear readers!  =)