Enough is enough

I can't believe that tomorrow is the start of another work week already...  It probably doesn't help that on Friday, I worked from 6:20 am - 9:30 pm and then was in the building yesterday from 9:30 am - 4:00 pm.  Why was I in the building yesterday you may ask?  Tomorrow is the culmination of all of my hard work over the last several months and the inspector/assessor for our accreditation arrives at 9:00 am to begin the process.  I'm pretty sure that all of the paperwork is in order but I'm not 100% confident about that - I think part of that comes from not being through this process before (I've been through the similar process when I worked in the other building but not this particular inspection or as a manager).  Along with her looking through the paperwork (in addition to looking through the 92 pieces of documentation I had to upload to their website), she has to interview some of the staff (including me), and then observe how the staff interact with the kids after school.  Tomorrow is only the 4th day of school so we'll see how that goes...

I am just so ready to be done with this whole process and be able to move on from it at work.  This accreditation has been what's consuming me for the last six months+ and I'm ready for it to all be over.  I know that there is always something else that will take the place of this project but I'm hoping it doesn't become as monopolizing.  The only downside to not knowing what's coming next is it makes it difficult to attempt to take some time off (and I desperately need to take some time off of work - and going to my conference in two weeks doesn't count since I'll be in classes all day).  We'll see what happens and if my boss agrees or not.

I am looking forward to attending the conference I'm headed to two weeks from today even though I have at least 1001 things to do around my apartment and at work before I leave.  It all always seems to come together in the end so I'm trying not to worry about it...  I just checked my work email and we got an email in regards to the conference - they want the week to be "business casual" dress and I'm not exactly sure what that means.  I tried looking it up online (yes, I'm a nerd like that) but what I was finding didn't necessarily help since there were many different interpretations of what "business casual" looks like.  I don't want to be the one in attendance who's either way over/under dressed...  (Mom & Dad, any thoughts/insight would be greatly appreciated!)

One of the things that I'm not looking forward to this week is saying goodbye to one of the women I consider to be one of my "dance mamas."  She gave me the opportunity to dance my first belly dance solo outside of the troupe's studio and I have danced at her show often since then (she is also the one I have been her substitute instructor when she's been out of town).  I'm not one who handles goodbyes well and this goodbye is going to be a difficult one for me since she's moving to the other side of the country.  She's having a goodbye get together this upcoming Saturday and while I don't always do well in group situations such as this, I'm going to at least swing by to say goodbye and give last hugs.

I came across something that I really needed to read tonight:

I AM ENOUGH

-Molly Mahar

I am full of sparkle and compassion.  I genuinely want to make the world a better place.  I love hard.  I practice kindness.  I'm not afraid of the truth.  I am loyal, adventurous, supportive, and surprising.  I am a woman.  I am enough.  I make mistakes but I own them and learn from them.  Sometimes I make a lot of mistakes.

There are definitely times where I need to remind myself that I am enough (even when I'm stressing over the accreditation process tomorrow).  On that note, I am going to bring this to a close for tonight in the hopes that I'll be able to get some decent sleep tonight (I turn into a bit of an insomniac when I'm stressed).  My plan is to make sure to embrace my muchness for the process of accreditation tomorrow and I hope that will help with my confidence.  I hope you embrace your muchness this week, my dear readers!  =)

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

It has been a very long week and am thankful that I had today "off."  Because it was a long work week and yesterday was an all day dance performance out of town, I had told the church choir director that I wouldn't be there today.  I spent a lazy morning in bed, talked to my Mom and Dad on the phone, started to clean my apartment (still have lots more to do but I started), ran a few errands and am now taking some time to write.

Why was it such a long week you might ask?  I had an intense meeting with my boss and some coworkers (followed up by a meeting between my boss, her assistant director and myself) and then the next day, one of the individuals involved in the meeting put in her two week notice.  During the meeting, we had come up with a plan for the next month or so and all of that is getting tossed out the window based on her announcement.  I think she expected me to have more of a reaction to her news but  I responded that it is what it is and we'll make it work - beyond that, there wasn't much more for me to say.  This upcoming week, we have the last two days of summer programming, roll into after school and have our reaccreditation process visit the next week (10th and 11th).

One of the things I'm definitely not looking forward to this upcoming week is my boss wants to give my staff the opportunity to come together and basically tell me everything that went wrong with summer programming.  While I'm all for constructive criticism and learning from mistakes; what I'm not all for is the opportunity to be placed in front of what has the potential to be a firing squad and allowing the staff to open fire.  When I was talking with Mom and Dad on the phone, they gave me some thoughts/options going into this firing squad so hopefully I'll remember it all in the heat of the moment.

Now that summer programming is over, I do have some things to look forward to in the next several months.  In a few weeks, I get to go to a week-long out of state training and see a good friend of mine who I haven't had the opportunity to see in 5 years (life has taken us to different coasts).  After that, my parents are taking a trip out here to see me (YAY!!) and then in December I have a three week vacation with family.  I am definitely grateful to have some breaks in sight and that they involve friends and family (even if one of them is a work trip, we're going to have some opportunities for fun as well).  With the amount of hours I put into work this summer (as well as my stress levels), I am looking forward to taking some time away from the building.

I know that I need to trust my staff to take care of things when I'm gone and I also need to get them to the point where they miss me.  As of right now, they just expect me to always be there and be the one to take care of things.  I think some of the staffing changes will assist in me feeling as if I can take some time off and time away from the building (even if it's just taking time out of the building to take a lunch break) but time will tell.  Some of this is going to force me to change my way of thinking when it comes to work but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  For me, I know that I need to change some things so I don't stress myself sick or to death.

Well, my dear readers, I am going to try and get a couple of things accomplished before the week ahead.  Even though I have another busy week, I'm going to try my best to remember my sparkle and my muchness and not to lose "me" in the midst of everything else (something I've been feeling lately).  Thank you for joining me again and I hope you have a muchness filled week!  =)