Time

I have hit some different milestones this week when it's come to my weight loss challenge....  I am starting to see some definition in my waist and it's been quite some time since I've had that.  Granted, I still have a long way to go in order to meet my personal goals but I know that any progress I'm making is a good thing.  There are times where I just get a little bit frustrated with the whole thing because I wish that I was making faster progress.  On the other hand, I know that if I lose weight too fast it could potentially come back quickly and I could gain more than I have lost...  Knowing that, I just have to keep plugging along and lose the weight as my body sees fit and just keep working at it.  As one of the workout videos I have says, "It took time to put the weight on so it will take time to lose it."  I will just have to keep telling myself that....  We'll see if that helps or not...


I have had some sleep success the last two nights.  I bought a new pillow and when I have slept, it has seemed to be more restful sleep.  I am really hoping that the sleep continues.  This past week was an emotionally draining one as well as a physically draining one and I'm not really sure what this upcoming week has in store.  I know that during dance class we will be continuing to work on a new and complex choreography (and I'm really hoping that we will run some of our other choreography as well so we don't forget any of those dances).  Learning new choreography not only taxes your body but your brain as well.  When we are learning a new choreography there are times that I curse my brain for picking up dances as quickly as I do just because choreography evolves and changes over time and there then is more to have to remember/memorize.  That's where sleep does come in handy...  =)


There are times where I look around and honestly wish that I had the capability to add more hours to any given day.  I have projects that I'm working on with more piling up on the back burner and I'm wondering when I'm going to find the time to accomplish the things that I have/want to work on.  At some point I think I need to go through some of my boxes that are still packed in order to get rid of some stuff (if it's still in a box at this point, do I really want to continue to hang onto it?  If my answer is no, get rid of it; if the answer is yes, why do I want to keep it?).  I have two baby blankets that I want to cross-stitch -- one is just over half done and the other is still in the package.  I have also wondered about adding a workout video or two to my weekly routine just to help shake things up weight loss wise.  However, all of these things take time and I just don't feel as if there are enough hours in the day/week in order to find time for me to get it all accomplished.  Maybe I just need to make a daily/weekly schedule for myself like we do for the kids at work.  We plan out their day for them in order to get things accomplished.  Hmm....  it's a thought anyway.


With that being said, maybe I need to put this away for tonight and attempt to get at least one more small section sewn on the baby blanket before I head to bed in order to start my week.  Sorry this post is on the short side but things need to get accomplished.....  I hope you all have a great week!

Sleep

I had people tell me this week how tired I've looked.  I think part of that may come from not having my glasses to hide behind.  I wore my new contacts to work all week so everyone could see the dark circles under my eyes (it was pretty funny - when one of the kids came into the classroom, they stopped in their tracks, looked at me and said, "What's different about your face??").  One of these days I hope that I'll be able to sleep but until then, I will just have to deal with people asking me why I look tired or hide behind my glasses instead of wearing my contacts.


Maybe there will be a time when I am able to sleep or even know why it is that I don't sleep at night.  I go to bed and feel as if I sleep for a some time each night (or I wouldn't even be able to function) but other parts of the night I toss and turn or dreams plague my sleep.  I had someone ask me why I don't take some sort of a sleeping aid in order to get a full 8 hours of sleep each night and my answer is a simple one -- because of how early I need to get up in the morning, I would have to go to bed like a half hour after I get home from dance class/choir or whatever else I might have going on in the evening and that doesn't sound like a good plan to me.  I feel as if I have too much to do after I get home and am never able to truly accomplish it.  Therefore if I go to bed even earlier, that would be way less for me to be able to accomplish.  I know that I'll be able to sleep eventually but not at the moment...


There is going to be a lot of dance practicing this week that I will be doing so I hope that I'll be able to sleep.  I have another big solo on Saturday that's going to require quite a bit of energy.  I will be dancing a solo comprised of two songs that lasts just over ten minutes.  It's the same routine that I performed at our studio nightclub show last weekend that I'll be performing this upcoming week.  While I am excited about having the opportunity to dance it again I am also a little nervous because of the expectation of this performance.


I love soloing for the person who hosts this venue but I also don't want to do poorly and disappoint.  She has been dancing for I'm not sure how long and is a fabulous dancer/performer.  Whenever I dance for her shows, she tells people as she announces me, how much she enjoys watching me dance.  I guess that just means I will have to practice whenever I have the opportunity this week and just trust that I'll be able to listen to the music and do it justice when I perform.


No matter what else I have going on in my life be it work issues, dancing, sleep issues, I know that there will always be some constants in my life -- my family.  I am thankful everyday that my family is close as we are.  Sure, we have our issues just like every family does but we try to always be there for one another however we can be.  I know that if I need to talk or vent or whatever, my family is there for me.  Sure, sometimes it can be difficult to get in contact with one another due to time differences but we try.


On this Father's Day (and every day), I am thankful that my Dad is still in my life and is there to support me.  Dad has always been able to relate to me in a way that no one else (other than maybe my Grandpa when he was with us) could.  Maybe it's because I'm so similar to my Mom...


I've been sitting here staring into space for a while thinking about my Dad and why I haven't been sleeping.  I think part of it comes from thinking in some way my divorce disappointed him (hearing Dad say that he was disappointed in us growing up was worse than him yelling).  When I was little, I wanted to marry a man like my Daddy.  I thought I had married that man and my ex ended up being the complete opposite.  Knowing that is a difficult thing for a Daddy's girl to swallow.  Maybe one of these days I will find a man for myself that is like my Daddy (and my Grandpa).  Dad, even though I know I don't need to say this, I'm sorry if I disappointed you.  I love you, Dad.


But until then, here's hoping I will be able to get some sleep tonight...