Weight for it... (yes, I meant that form of "weight")

Well, I finally did it...  I took a day off.  Yesterday I had my third belly dance show in the last three weekends and I took today off from Church.  I had to miss choir practice on Thursday due to a work meeting so I didn't feel as if I would be prepared to sing with the choir.  I also feel as if I just needed to take a day off from everything.  I did some things that I wanted to do (even though there was more that I wanted to do and didn't) and I then just took some time to sit on the couch.  Granted, while I was sitting, I worked on cross-stitching a baby blanket some (my seemingly never-ending project) but I also just sat.  I have to say, it felt pretty nice.  It's something that I should probably try and do more often.


Another thing that I am going to try and work on is accepting my body image.  I know that I don't necessarily have to like everything I see when I look in the mirror but I can be a little bit nicer to my reflection.  I know that this is a topic I have written about many years but it is still a major struggle for me.  I know that in order to change some of the things I see in the mirror, I will need to begin to make some big life changes.  I am willing to look into making those changes and see where that leaves me.  Personally, even with all of the weight I have lost so far, I feel as if I need to lose another 50 pounds.  I need to do something in order to jump-start that loss.


Now that it's starting to warm up, I have a feeling I will be trying to make sure I eat more salads and fresh fruits rather than the other stuff.  I also know that for myself, when it tends to get too hot, all I really want to eat is yogurt or something like that from out of the fridge.  I also know that as it warms up, it will be warmer in the dance studio, which means I'll most likely sweat more during class.  All of these things will hopefully begin to add up to lost weight.  Because I am so active with attending two-hour dance classes three days a week, weight loss is going to have to come from the food I do (or subsequently don't) eat.  We'll see if that makes a difference or not...


I think one of the things that frustrates me when it comes to weight loss is portioning.  Food that is prepackaged often is for more than one person and so are most recipes.  Because of these two things, food becomes overly frustrating for me.  I'm not one that necessarily enjoys cooking and to have to figure out how to manipulate recipes (since I'm also not a huge fan of most leftovers) makes it an even more daunting task.  Because of my busy schedule, that makes packaged meals an easier option but, once again, not when you have to think about them.  I want to be able to eat something that tastes good yet I don't have to figure out how many servings I have to break it into.  I know that having prepackaged "diet" meals would then seem like a better option but I would really have to look into which ones I could fit to my food preferences/allergies.  Something else that has always made some weight loss foods difficult for me is that I don't overly like vegetables.  I guess if I really don't like them, I won't eat them and that should really help with meeting my weight loss goals.


Well, all of this talk about food/weight loss before bed probably isn't a good thing.  So I think that I'm going to drink a nice big glass of water and maybe work on some sewing before heading to bed.  I have to get some sleep tonight - - have a big week in store.  Have a good one!  =)

Stress

While I was flipping through channels today, I heard a quote on a commercial that has stuck with me for the remainder of the afternoon/evening.  The quote was, "Rather than trying to control everything, why not just let things be out of control for awhile?"  I reacted kind of the same way the character hearing that did, "WHAT?!"  Even though I know that I need to do that, I'm not quite sure how I would... I know that for my own mental/emotional/physical well being I need to learn how to step back sometimes and not try and fix absolutely everything.  Yes, that's going to take some effort on my part but I know that it's a necessary one.  I need to learn how to apply that mentality to different areas of my life in an attempt to bring some balance back.


I often find it difficult to not attempt to control things I think because it's just me.  Yes, I have coworkers and friends but when it comes to having things keep me up at night, that's when it's just me.  I don't have anyone in the middle of the night to help keep me asleep in order to function during my busy days.  When I find myself getting stressed, I toss and turn at night.  Even though I know that about myself, I still find myself not always getting the sleep that I need at night.  I'm to the point that I may have to possibly look into taking some sort of a sleep aid or something so I can do what needs to be done.


I think one of the things that I need to learn how to be okay with is taking the occasional day off of work since I am so busy.  My weeks and my weekends have been jam-packed and it's becoming too much for me to handle.  I'm going to find myself on the edge of a nervous breakdown before I know it and that's not a good feeling.  In order to take a break, I am going to have to learn how to use the word "no" in at least one area of my life (whether it be in the area of work, church, dance) even if it's just the occasional "no."


Maybe one of the things that I need to do is find inspiration again.  I need to look into finding a new piece of music to create a brand new solo to or something....


Okay, just had a monkey wrench thrown into my thoughts of finding balance and de-stressing - - - I just got an unexpected text from a coworker letting me know that one of the staff is having her baby a month early and we now have to go to an unwritten/unknown contingency plan.  I know that we will make everything come together and make it work but it just adds to an already stressful life.  I am hoping and praying that everything goes well and my friend/coworker has a safe delivery and healthy baby especially since I know it's earlier than expected.


Since I'm not sure what I'm going to be walking into when I go into work tomorrow, I think I'm going to close this done in an attempt to get some sleep tonight.  I am going to try my hardest to not over-think things so I can get some sleep tonight.  We'll see if that works for me or not...