Thankfulness

(Where did this weekend go? I even had an extra 2 days for this weekend and I still don't know where the time went....)

Tonight I want to write about "thankfulness." I know that we should be thankful year round, however it does seem to become a central focus around holiday time. First and foremost I am thankful for my family (I am also thankful for the technology that allowed me to see/talk to everyone on Thanksgiving). While we were video chatting it felt like I was in the room so that was pretty cool. Granted, there were times where it did feel a little awkward knowing that I was just there on a screen but when my nephew kissed my nose on the screen it made it worth it! =) They have been so supportive and they try to include me even though I am the family member who is so far away. That is a blessing to know that even though I am so far away, I am not necessarily the one who is "out of sight, out of mind."

I am also thankful for friends and the families I feel like I have been "adopted" into where I live. I spent Thanksgiving with my dance instructor and their friends (a couple of fellow dancers were there as well) and we spent the day filled with laughter. Even though I was slightly apprehensive about going (which is strange since that's where I spent Thanksgiving last year), I did have a good time. Maybe one of the reasons I was nervous was because they threatened to break out the karaoke machine - but luckily that didn't happen. =)

I am also thankful in this economy to have a job. Granted, my job can be stressful at times, but what job isn't. It's probably actually better for me to have a job that is at least a little bit stressful, since that means it keeps me busy, and that, in turn, makes time go faster. =) This past week, I have spent my time at work back in a classroom of 2 year-olds and that definitely made the time go fast since I was running around all over the place. Since it has been awhile since I have been in that type of classroom, I came home exhausted each day but at least my days seemed to go pretty quickly. The only day I wasn't thrilled to be in that room was Wednesday when one of the children decided to help me open one of the doors (they helped rather forcefully) and it resulted in my finger getting smashed between the metal door handle and the cement wall. Needless to say, my finger is still swollen and hurts to the touch so it does make me wonder what's going on with it (not enough for me to go to the doctor though since I HATE the doctor).

I guess I can also say that I am thankful for my heath (except for this nagging cough that won't seem to leave me alone). I know that things could be way worse for me in that sense. I have a feeling that things wouldn't be as bad for me if I went to the doctor these days (since telling me I was too overweight was often the first thing I heard from the nurse/doctor), I know that I do have my weight goal to still reach. I am trying not to be too hard on myself anymore about the weight not coming off as fast as I would like but that is still something that doesn't necessarily come natural to me. I guess that's something I still need to work on (the weight loss as well as being more positive towards how I view myself).

Another goal I have is I'm going to work towards being more thankful for the individual I am becoming. This is something that I know I need to work on since how can others around me view me in that positive light if I have trouble viewing myself in that positive way. I will work on it and see what the next few weeks/months hold in store for me. =)

Kitchen lessons?

I think I need to apply the things I am learning in the kitchen to other aspects of my life.... For those of you who are confused, ever since I first attempted to cook, I have been somewhat incompetent when it comes to cooking. Granted, I have mastered some yummy and interesting pieces but I've never been that adventurous when it comes to trying new things when it comes to food. Today, however, I tried some new things and they turned out to be super yummy! =)

I took packaged gnocchi, cooked it and added Alfredo sauce. If that wasn't yummy enough, I added a piece of garlic Texas toast to my lunch (because I added a little too much Alfredo sauce to my gnocchi). Since I didn't think of the toast until my gnocchi was cooked (and I don't have a toaster oven) I tried something kind of daring - - I put my Texas toast in a hot skillet! And it worked! It was kind of like cooking the Skillet Toast that I made awhile back. =)

I wish that other aspect of my life would turn out as easy as my lunch did.... This past week marked another post-divorce milestone - - the three year point of the wasband walking away; leaving only a letter. I thought I was doing pretty well until the day approached... I found myself having very odd dreams, tossing and turning, taking things personally that I didn't need to, and was more emotional when I found a photo of the ex. I don't know why I am still finding myself feeling these strong emotions but I know that it will just take time for me to work through all of this.

As I've said before, I know that there are those around me who wish I could just "get over" how things ended up between my ex and I but I still find that things still bother me about the entire situation. Granted, I am not at the point I was three years ago but I still have strong feelings about the situation - - they are definitely NOT feeling for him anymore. I think maybe some of it comes from all of the emotions tied to this time of year....

This is the time of year to be around family and friends. While I have my friends (some of them are scattered around the country though) but I wish I was closer to where my family is located. This is also the time of year that would have been my anniversary and the shows on TV are centered around romance for the holidays (as well as the commercials turn super sappy this time of year - - it's almost as bad as Valentine's Day).

It helps to know that no matter how I'm feeling, there are those in my family as well as my friends who only want the best for me - even if I'm not sure what that "best" is yet. Maybe that's one of the focuses I need to have for my quest - - knowing what's best for me is out there and just continue to do my best in working to whatever that may be. I also have to remember that those around me will love me regardless (even if I do need to continue to work on loving myself....).

I hope everyone has the opportunity this upcoming week to take some time and reflect what they are thankful for - I know I will be.