Yesterday I embraced on a much needed "run away me-venture" (a me adventure). After working yet another 60 hour work week (plus dance & choir), I out of the blue took myself whale watching. I'm not exactly sure how/why I draw strength from being out on the ocean but when I boat docked I felt recharged. Maybe I was a pirate or a mermaid or a sea witch in a previous life... =)
I am starting to realize that waiting to recharge my batteries until I'm completely running on empty is a bad thing. I am also noticing that if I allow myself to completely run down, the charge isn't lasting as long; which also isn't a good thing. I need to find some way to not let my batteries run as low or to completely empty because I know it's not good for me on many different levels - it's not good for my mental/emotional/spiritual/muchness health. On the plus side, this upcoming week at work marks week 6 out of 8 of summer programming and I can go back to more "normal" work hours when it's all said and done.
This weekend I ended up having to bring some work home since I have annual staff evaluations due to the end of the week - ugh. I don't know if I'm over thinking them or what but I always find writing them to be challenging. Granted, last year was my first year having to write them but so far this year has not magically made them any easier to write. Part of it may come from last year I didn't want to come across as too harsh (as a brand new manager) but this year I don't want to just give them the same performance rating if that's not the level of work they're producing. I want to be honest but I also want to be fair. Being a manager is hard...
On the plus side, I did make some progress along my managerial quest in dealing with one of my co-workers this past week. He was trying to let me know that we (he and I) needed to pull someone into the the office for a conversation and we should present a united front in the conversation; but he didn't want to give me the details behind why the conversation needed to happen. I told him that I wasn't going to agree to having a "we" conversation if I didn't have all of the details. I also told him that I needed him to put the reasoning in an email for me to review and then I would make the final decision. He came to me later in the week asking about the conversation and I reminded him that I still didn't have an email with the details; as of now, I still don't have said email. Standing up for myself as the manager definitely felt good.
Today I took myself a little outside of my comfort zone and I went to an event at the dance studio. One of the local dancers will be moving in about a month and they organized a belly dance costume sale & swap at the dance studio this afternoon. Events like that are usually something I attend since there are very few dancers in this area who would sell things that would fit me. One of my dance friends who's items would fit me was going to be selling things so I decided to go for a little bit. I ended up heading to her corner of the studio where she told me she was actually holding a belt aside for me. I bought the belt, a top and a costume from her. She gave me a fabulous deal on it all and I told her that there were some other pieces I was eyeing if she didn't end up selling them today. Even though I wasn't there long (and I was uncomfortable), I was glad I stopped by.
Well my dear readers, since I had my me-venture yesterday and I went dance shopping today, I should probably bring this to a close so I can spend more time writing staff evaluations. I hope you have a spectacular week and that you do something to recharge your batteries! =)
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Inner nerd
The inspection is over and we have our preliminary results - we didn't do as well as I wanted us to but we did better than last year so I'll take the 86% we received (got an 82% last year). My boss isn't thrilled with the results but as people in the management field have pointed out to me, a 4% increase in a year is a pretty big deal. Based on the results, there are definite improvements that need to be made but I'm confident that we can take care of them - I just need to get my staff to see that. In getting my staff's assistance, I have to work on how the message is presented because I had a conversation with one of my staff this last week where they informed me that the bulk of the staff is scared of me/afraid to come to me with things. I had a heart-to-heart with my parents about this (thanks!) an they suggested I look into management classes of some sort or seeing what books I can find on the topic. I found a book online, ordered it and it should be delivered tomorrow so hopefully that will help...
There may be some validity to the statement but it's hard to not take it personally. I just find it difficult to turn emotions on/off and make it sound sincere to say those "manager phrases" (i.e. "What I hear you saying is...") and dropping everything (no matter what I'm in the middle of) if they need something. I know that helping the staff is part of my job but my other responsibilities don't stop just because they need something and I also won't be able to give them exactly what they need 100% of the time. All I can do is keep trying and moving forward...
It's difficult for me to focus on the good things I've accomplished in the past year when this has now surfaced. I had been excited to hear some of what one of the inspector was saying since he was one that inspected us last year too and he commented on the positive changes he's seen since he was here a year ago. But since I tend to be a perfectionist, I am now only focusing on discovering that the staff are scared of me and that's difficult for me to hear since I thought I had been making progress. There's always more progress to be made and there is always room for reflection/growth...
I think I might not be so hard on myself if I felt as if I had more knowledge of what was expected of me in terms of being a manager. Don't get me wrong, I would still be a perfectionist but I would at least have more knowledge. I'm hoping that the book that I ordered will assist with some of this. When I've tried asking those in the other building in management about assistance, I've been met with how long they've been managers and how they just had to glean the information for themselves. As someone who went to college to be an elementary school teacher, I do understand the importance of learning information for yourself but there is also a time and place to have someone point you towards the information you seek.
Maybe I just need to fall back on a saying that I came across - "embrace the chaos; life might astonish you." I have definitely felt as if life has been a little (or a lot) chaotic lately so this saying just might help me. Rather than fighting the chaos that life is presenting, I need to learn how to embrace it and in turn reduce my stress levels. Maybe in reducing my stress levels, it will assist me in how I deal with the frustrations I sometimes face in dealing with my coworkers. It all comes full circle! =)
Well now that I've just had my epiphany, I'm going to bring this to a close for tonight. Hopefully I will be able to use this bolt of lightning to my brain (epiphany) to my advantage this week and I also hope that my book is everything that I need for it to be in terms of work (it's a "for dummies" book so it should...). Hmmm.... I just realized that I'm going back to my "nerd" routes since I'm putting this much emphasis on having a book help me out... Oh, well; I'll embrace my inner nerd (and this nerd will hopefully show a little muchness too!). Have a good week, my dear readers! =)
There may be some validity to the statement but it's hard to not take it personally. I just find it difficult to turn emotions on/off and make it sound sincere to say those "manager phrases" (i.e. "What I hear you saying is...") and dropping everything (no matter what I'm in the middle of) if they need something. I know that helping the staff is part of my job but my other responsibilities don't stop just because they need something and I also won't be able to give them exactly what they need 100% of the time. All I can do is keep trying and moving forward...
It's difficult for me to focus on the good things I've accomplished in the past year when this has now surfaced. I had been excited to hear some of what one of the inspector was saying since he was one that inspected us last year too and he commented on the positive changes he's seen since he was here a year ago. But since I tend to be a perfectionist, I am now only focusing on discovering that the staff are scared of me and that's difficult for me to hear since I thought I had been making progress. There's always more progress to be made and there is always room for reflection/growth...
I think I might not be so hard on myself if I felt as if I had more knowledge of what was expected of me in terms of being a manager. Don't get me wrong, I would still be a perfectionist but I would at least have more knowledge. I'm hoping that the book that I ordered will assist with some of this. When I've tried asking those in the other building in management about assistance, I've been met with how long they've been managers and how they just had to glean the information for themselves. As someone who went to college to be an elementary school teacher, I do understand the importance of learning information for yourself but there is also a time and place to have someone point you towards the information you seek.
Maybe I just need to fall back on a saying that I came across - "embrace the chaos; life might astonish you." I have definitely felt as if life has been a little (or a lot) chaotic lately so this saying just might help me. Rather than fighting the chaos that life is presenting, I need to learn how to embrace it and in turn reduce my stress levels. Maybe in reducing my stress levels, it will assist me in how I deal with the frustrations I sometimes face in dealing with my coworkers. It all comes full circle! =)
Well now that I've just had my epiphany, I'm going to bring this to a close for tonight. Hopefully I will be able to use this bolt of lightning to my brain (epiphany) to my advantage this week and I also hope that my book is everything that I need for it to be in terms of work (it's a "for dummies" book so it should...). Hmmm.... I just realized that I'm going back to my "nerd" routes since I'm putting this much emphasis on having a book help me out... Oh, well; I'll embrace my inner nerd (and this nerd will hopefully show a little muchness too!). Have a good week, my dear readers! =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
