Sigh of relief

Doggy update:  he had the drain removed this past week and the incision looks nice and clean (knock on wood that it stays that way until Saturday when he is scheduled to have them removed).  I think while they were performing his surgery, they gave him a brain transplant or something because my 9-year old dog is acting like he's a puppy again.  I know that he's probably feeling better (if he was as sick as the vet thinks for as long as they think) but he's had the same personality for the last 6+ years so it's odd to have him revert back to puppyhood.  I just have to keep reminding myself how lucky/thankful I am to still have him...  Him being on the mend is definitely a sigh of relief.

As we were at the vet's office having the drain removed, the vet was going over aftercare instructions with me when someone came in, carrying their pet in a towel and she was hysterical.  The vet who was talking with me rushed the animal and the couple back to the next room (it was only separated from where I was with a waist high partition).  In the towel was a cat who had been mauled by a dog. The vet tech came out and told the couple that the cat was very severely injured and probably wouldn't make it; the woman begged them to do everything they could to save the cat and to even perform feline CPR if necessary.  The whole time I'm standing there, just wanting to leave, but no one had told me what I owed for this particular visit.  My dog just wanted to help and he was trying to get down from me holding him - he just didn't understand that the couple probably didn't want to see any dog at that particular moment even if he was a smaller dog than had attacked their cat.  Someone at that point finally came back to the desk so I could pay and get out of there.  As I walked out, carrying my dog in my arms, I realized how the whole situation with him could've gone very differently and made me thankful to still have him (even if he is making me crazy being his puppy self again).

I learned something else this week...  I learned that work didn't fall apart just because I took a lunch break in the middle of the day.  Every day this past week, I had to take a lunch break to come home and give my dog his medication (I usually don't take a lunch break, make sure everyone else gets theirs and I just work through the day).  When I got back to work after my hour break, the building was still standing, work looked like it was still getting done and I didn't walk into any major problems.  I also found that by taking this break away from the building, my afternoons seemed to go by faster and I was more energetic/focused for the remainder of my work day.  I have to take a break daily everyday this upcoming week (to give the doggy medication) and I'm hoping to make it a habit. I'm sure I will need a break daily this week not only to give my dog his medication but to take a mental break from preparations for a work event we're having from 9 - 3 on Saturday (yes, I have to work all day on Saturday after working all week and I won't get paid for it...  gotta love being on salary).

I am still waiting to take a whole day off of work now that I have been shown once again that my team can handle it.  I know that they do it when I've been gone on vacations and I do have faith in my team; I just don't want them to feel as if I'm not there for them.  I don't have anything that I'd particularly want to do on my day off but just having a day for me would be nice.  I know I've said it before but I think one of these days I need to take a calendar to my boss and ask when I can have a day off...  We'll see.

I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize that the time I try and give my staff is just as important to take myself but I'm glad to finally be realizing it.  I make sure all of my staff get a lunch break if they work over a certain number of hours as well as give them time off of work when they ask for it (and if I can't give it to them the day they ask, I try and find an alternate day if that works for them).  It's important for their health and well being as well as their morale in the work place.  I need the same thing.  Like I said, I'm not sure why I had it in my head that the manage of the building didn't need to do those things but I am now learning the importance of it all - especially for the management team.  We have a new operations clerk (secretary/administrative assistant of sorts) staring this week so that will be helpful - we haven't had anyone in that position for almost a year so we're all breathing a sigh of relief that the position is at last about to be filled.

Well my dear readers, it has come to that time that I should bring this to a close and maybe read a little bit before going to bed.  With my doggy being injured, the vet recommend that I sleep nearby in case anything happened in the middle of the night but not have him on the bed because it would be a long drop to the floor for him.  I have been sleeping on the couch with I thought would completely ruin the little bit of sleep that I manage to get each night and ironically I've slept better on the couch that I have for months in my bed.  My back has been a little sore but at least I haven't been tossing and turning.  Maybe it's time to think about a new mattress one of these days...  That's another conversation for another day though.

I hope each and every one of you have an absolutely fabulous week and you seize each opportunity to let your freak flags fly!  =)

Complete and utter panic...

I started my day yesterday with a moment of complete and utter panic...  After I did my usual get up, take a shower, and get dressed, I let the dogs out of their crate to let them outside to do their business.  I noticed a red spot on the back of one of their heads so I wanted to take a closer look.  I was going to give him a quick bath before heading to the dance studio and as I removed his color that's when I had my moment of panic - the red "spot" that I had noticed was actually a deep hole in the back of his head!  I scooped him up and immediately looked online for an emergency vet.  I found one not far from where I live, put my other dog in the crate and placed my poor baby in the car.  I had a feeling it would be an adventure because he tends to get car sick but he just laid down on the front seat (which was an indication to me that he didn't feel well).

When I finally found the location of the emergency vet (which added insult to injury was located near the office of the lawyer I used for my divorce), they had me fill out paperwork.  Because I was worked up, my hand was shaking as I attempted to fill out all of the required documentation while I still was holding my dog in my arms.  Once I got everything filled out that they required, they took us back to the exam room.  The attendant asked me what happened and I had to answer honestly that I didn't know.  After doing the preliminary exam, she went and got the vet.  The vet came in, gave his wound one look and immediately asked me how long he had been sick.  I said that I didn't know what she was talking about because he hasn't been acting sick.  Some of the symptoms she was listing, I told her was just his personality - I'm not sure if she believed me or not...

What the diagnosis ended up being was massive ear infection, tooth decay/mouth infection and the hole was caused by a ruptured abscess.  What a mess...  They ended up putting him under general anesthesia (so I had to fill out forms stating I understood there was a possibility he might not wake up), cleaned/sutured the hole, pulled teeth and sent him home on five different medications (three different antibiotics, pain meds and an anti-inflammatory - phew...).  I have to take him back in the middle of the week to remove the drain and check on him and then again in two weeks to remove the sutures.  One of the plus sides I guess, is I'll have to take a lunch everyday for the next two weeks in order to come home and give him medication.

The whole situation has left me feeling pretty guilty for the dog who needed surgery and my other dog who was left behind.  After this weekend, I really wish that I had a doggy thought translator so I would know what each of them wanted/needed and I wouldn't have to guess.  Maybe if I would have had one of those, I would've known he wasn't feeling well and this situation could have been avoided.  Granted, knowing about it earlier may or may not have changed the outcome but I still feel bad that they've both had to go through what they have this weekend...

My head knows that feeling guilty about the whole situation won't change anything however I still feel that way and it's left me asking a lot of "what ifs."  What if I didn't spend so many hours at work?  What if I would have been home more often?  What if I wouldn't have been home this weekend (I had been invited to go to an out of state belly dance retreat that lasted from Thursday through tomorrow)?  What if I wouldn't have noticed the wound when I did?  I even went to the dreaded place of what if I wouldn't have fought so hard to keep both dogs when I got divorced - would this have still happened (completely illogical of me but I still went there...)?  Too many questions, not enough answers...  I suppose I have to look at is that it did happen, I got him medical attention as quickly as I could and I've been taking care of him the best I can since; but those thoughts aren't easy to come by - especially in the middle of the night...


 Well, my dear readers, I hope I didn't bring you down too much this week by the things that I had to say but I think it is time for me to bring things to a close and head to bed.  Because of everything that happened yesterday, it's no surprise that I didn't get very good sleep last night and I'm hoping for better sleep tonight.  I think it's time for the doggy patient to get more medication anyway...  I hope you have a fabulous week my dear readers and that you don't have any surprises such as this one...