Well, dear readers, it is almost the end of another weekend and I am left wondering why it's already time to go back to work in the morning... I had a list of things as long as my arm that I wanted to accomplish this weekend and it didn't happen. Yes, I was able to get some of the things checked off the list (which I do recognize and pat myself on the back for those accomplishments) but with other items, I started them and other things popped up to be added to the list as well. I guess I have to just do what I tell the kids at work, sometimes you just have to keep trying and not give up. I will just have to take a little bit of time if/when possible this upcoming week to keep trying to get the items on the list done so I can cross them off of the to-do list. We'll see how that goes...
I had some interesting situations at work that caused me to question or not if I should continue my attempts in letting my freak flag fly. I have a coworker who has made it quite clear that she doesn't like me and it seems as if she is expecting me to change who I am to suit her needs (she even gave me the silent treatment at work - which was honestly fine by me). At one point, I almost gave into her expectations and I questioned if I should change myself or not... After really giving it some thought and introspection, I decided that I was NOT going to change for her just because she doesn't like me. If she doesn't like me or my personality, I am not going to let it bother me nor am I going to change who I have worked so hard to become just because she wants me to. I am pretty proud of myself for that realization and for the fact that I'm standing my ground.
While I know my personality is one that can be challenging at times (and I am okay with admitting that about myself), I am tired of changing who I am so people can "like" me. I have friends who like me. Other people that I encounter can accept me or not but they don't have to necessarily like me. Just like I am not required to like people that I come in contact with. It is up to me to choose how I interact with people but I'm done giving people the control over me to think they can change who I am. I also have the choice if I'm going to continue to give that control to those around me or not. As of right now, I am going to do what is necessary to hang tight to that control over me and I chose to not change who I am just because it might be easier for someone else. That felt really good to write that. I'm going to write it again... I CHOSE TO NOT CHANGE WHO I AM JUST BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE EASIER FOR SOMEONE ELSE!
This afternoon I went back and reread some of my old blog posts. The ones I selected to read made me get introspective and made me think about some of the things that I've overcome and realize how far I've actually come in the last number of years. There are times I have felt as if I've made little to no progress but I saw today that I truly have. Am I 100% where I want to be, no, but I'm getting there. Each accomplishment, no matter how small, is cause for a celebration and recognition. I am going to try and make an effort to find something weekly (and then maybe work myself up to find something daily) that I have accomplished and celebrate said accomplishment. I know that's going to take some work on my part but it's something that I'm going to set as a goal to work on.
Well, speaking of goal setting, I should probably sign off for tonight in order to work some more on the baby blanket that is almost completed. I have just a little bit longer until I promised that it would be finished so I'm trying my hardest to reach that goal. Have a fabulous week my dear readers and LET THOSE FREAK FLAGS FLY!! =)
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Courage
One of the things I remember my Dad telling me when I was little was that I could do anything or be anyone I wanted to be (maybe that's one of the reasons why I teach -- is because I can change who I am every day...). I took what he told me to heart then and I still do. When my Dad tells me that I can do something, it helps give me the confidence to know that I can. I know that not everyone has been as lucky to have their Dad support them no matter what, but I have been one of those lucky ones. My Dad has always been there for me to support me (even if/when he didn't necessarily agree with my decisions) and I have appreciated that more than I can ever tell him. Even when my Dad couldn't be there in person because of work, I knew that I always had his support. It was a comfort to know that he wished he could be there even if work called him away. I love you, Daddy!
This past week, I took a "mental health day" from work (I took the day off from work) and I found myself at the beach. Since it was the middle of the work week, the beach itself was pretty much deserted and I was able to walk the beach, climb rocks, explore tide pools and watch the waves crash upon the rocks and sand. It was glorious! I think I just might have to plan more of these kinds of days from work. I mean, work survived, nothing major happened in my absence so it shows me that it is possible for things to go on when I'm not there. Plus it was very good for me to take the day off of work. I was able to go back to work refreshed and that's one of the things that was important to me. The only downside to my "mental health day" was that it was over before I knew it... Oh, well. I guess that's what makes them all the more special when they get to happen.
With taking a "mental health day" I was hoping that it would allow me to work some on my muchness but I don't feel as if that happened. Yes, I did take the day for myself and I had fun exploring at the beach but I also thought some about the things I "should've" been doing instead. I don't like that feeling. I need to learn how to give myself permission take things one at a time and if I don't get it done, I will find a different time/place to accomplish those tasks. I think that's one of the most important things -- finding the way to grant myself that permission... A task to work on...
I think in order to find that permission, I need to remember those things my Dad told me. I get the chance to decide who/what I want to be. I don't need to wait for someone else to tell me who that is because I get to decide it for myself. I also don't have to decide today who I want to be and who I am doesn't have to be set in stone. If/when I choose, I can change who I am and that's okay. But the fact is I get to decide that for me. I know that my family will be there for me (especially when I may stumble/fall/get lost along the way) and knowing that definitely helps.
One of the things I'm going to work on over the next week or so is finding the courage to be who I am inside and letting other people see that me. I'm going to sign off for tonight in order to take an introspective look at things before going to bed tonight. If you have any ideas, I would love to hear about it!! Have a good week, my dear readers and I'll see you next week! =)
This past week, I took a "mental health day" from work (I took the day off from work) and I found myself at the beach. Since it was the middle of the work week, the beach itself was pretty much deserted and I was able to walk the beach, climb rocks, explore tide pools and watch the waves crash upon the rocks and sand. It was glorious! I think I just might have to plan more of these kinds of days from work. I mean, work survived, nothing major happened in my absence so it shows me that it is possible for things to go on when I'm not there. Plus it was very good for me to take the day off of work. I was able to go back to work refreshed and that's one of the things that was important to me. The only downside to my "mental health day" was that it was over before I knew it... Oh, well. I guess that's what makes them all the more special when they get to happen.
With taking a "mental health day" I was hoping that it would allow me to work some on my muchness but I don't feel as if that happened. Yes, I did take the day for myself and I had fun exploring at the beach but I also thought some about the things I "should've" been doing instead. I don't like that feeling. I need to learn how to give myself permission take things one at a time and if I don't get it done, I will find a different time/place to accomplish those tasks. I think that's one of the most important things -- finding the way to grant myself that permission... A task to work on...
I think in order to find that permission, I need to remember those things my Dad told me. I get the chance to decide who/what I want to be. I don't need to wait for someone else to tell me who that is because I get to decide it for myself. I also don't have to decide today who I want to be and who I am doesn't have to be set in stone. If/when I choose, I can change who I am and that's okay. But the fact is I get to decide that for me. I know that my family will be there for me (especially when I may stumble/fall/get lost along the way) and knowing that definitely helps.
One of the things I'm going to work on over the next week or so is finding the courage to be who I am inside and letting other people see that me. I'm going to sign off for tonight in order to take an introspective look at things before going to bed tonight. If you have any ideas, I would love to hear about it!! Have a good week, my dear readers and I'll see you next week! =)
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