Well, I officially made another child at work this past week threaten to call my Mommy and tell her what I "meanie" I was being (I told him that it was not okay to yell at rest time and that during clean up he needed to put the toys away that he had been playing with... yup, I'm horrible). Part of me just wanted to ask him where he thought I learned how to be a "meanie" but I didn't think about that until later... =) He never did end up calling my Mom (even though I told him to go ahead and call her) and he had forgotten all about it the next day and I was suddenly his "bestest teacher ever." I have never really understood why following through with something causes me to be classified as a "meanie" (i.e. if you do this, then your consequence will be ________). I think if more people (children as well as adults) were asked to follow those types of clear cut guidelines the world just might be a better place.
When dealing with people in general I believe I am firm but fair. Don't get me wrong, I do have a soft side (which doesn't come out as often as some around me would like...) but I've realized that I get to show that side when I chose - not just show it to make people like who I am. I am getting to the point where I like who I am and that's what's most important, right? I know that I am still definitely a work in progress and still need to find ways/opportunities to let my freak flag fly. I hope you, my dear readers, are doing better with this concept on a regular basis than I am. I am working at it but not as consistently as I'd like at this point.
Maybe part of my hesitation in truly letting my freak flag fly stems from fear of what people might think if I show the "all of me" that's hiding inside. Some of that fear could also be I haven't identified all of who the real me is yet because of thinking that "me" might be weird or wrong... Yes, I know that I'm weird (I'm the epitome of weird in my day to day duality of working with kids during the day and belly dancing the rest of the time) but do I really want people to know all of my weirdness? Maybe part of why I'm having a difficult time with letting my freak flag fly proudly is because I'm denying that side of myself to shine through. Something to think about and work on for sure...
One of the things I am doing for myself this week is I have taken a random day off of work for "me time." You heard it folks, the person who always works (sick or well, tired or rested, want to be there or not), is taking an entire day off of work that is not associated with a vacation or travel or dance or anything. I am taking a day to do whatever it is that I get in my head to do and I will have no one telling me "no." I am elated. While some people would have a day off of work planned minute to minute of things that HAVE to be done in that day off -- I have absolutely nothing planned. Who knows what kind of antics I might find myself in the middle of but I'm thrilled to have the endless opportunities. Yes, it might only be for one day but it's going to be my day. Am I going to plan something for my day? I don't think I'm going to. I think I'm going to just see where my freak flag leads me (it'll be used as a parasail or something like that).
On the plus side of things, while my weekend was full of activity (and was very tiring), it was a fun one. I taught my dance class yesterday morning (and had five dancers attend) and then I had to change into a costume and head to a performance. We danced several of our troupe dances (there were a total of four dancers from our troupe that went to the performance and we had lots of fun) and I danced my sword solo. Then today, I woke up nice and early to substitute teach a dance class for the dancer who coordinates the fund raiser shows that I dance for. I was very honored when she asked me if I wanted to sub for her and I feel as if I taught her students some fun moves. Not that long ago, I got a message from her to see how class went today and she asked me if I could sub for her again for the last two weeks of this month and I am very excited to have the opportunity. I know that it will lead to me having more weekends that aren't really weekends but it gives me the chance to share more of what I love to do.
Well, my dear readers, I feel as if it's that time again where I need to bring this to a close in order to prepare for heading into work bright and early tomorrow morning. I'm sorry if I rambled tonight or if my musings were convoluted. Thanks for reading anyway! =)
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
surrender
The concept of surrendering is not a new one to me. Basically it has always meant waving the white flag and giving up. This past week during my quest, a new way to look at surrendering was introduced to me - what if, instead of giving up, surrender instead is letting go of something in order for it to be replaced with something new/different? Along with that, it doesn't necessarily need to be better/worse but rather it's something that wasn't anticipated. I don't know about you, dear readers, but I had always equated surrendering with somewhat negative connotations. With this new concept, it may or may not be a question of negative or positive just different...
I will have to try very hard to arm myself with this new philosophy on surrender this upcoming week. Some of my responsibilities at work have shifted for the next couple of weeks and while I know I'm up for the challenge, it's going to test this new view on surrender as well as test my opportunity to let my freak flag fly. This responsibility shift is not only going to test me mentally/physically but it is also going to challenge me to learn how and delegate jobs that I would ordinarily just take care of myself. I'm going to be putting in extra hours (which always makes for a nice paycheck) but I know that I will have to learn how and delegate some responsibilities because even with the extra time, there just won't be enough hours in the work day to accomplish everything.
This last one is going to be what's most difficult for me (I have become accustomed to stretching myself too thin physically/mentally/emotionally). I'm the type who will take on additional tasks and just do them myself so I know they're done properly rather than delegate them to someone else. I know that in the long run doing it that way isn't best for anyone involved (because it stresses me out and teaches them that I'll just do the work for them) but I have often found that it's easiest for me at the time to just take on those additional tasks. But I know that for the best interest of everyone in the long run, I do need to start not taking on so much responsibility at once. If I can't find a way to (once again) balance those scales, everything is going to begin to suffer and I don't want that to happen.
This balancing act doesn't just apply to work. I am seriously starting to think that I have multiple sets of scales -- one for work, one for dance, one for "everything else." Maybe because I have multiple scales, that's why I'm having difficulty finding ways to balance everything. I think I have to start looking at things that come up in my day to day activities as spinning plates -- I can only keep so many spinning at one time before they all come crashing to the ground. I guess it's up to me to decide which plates are worth saving and which ones I should either let someone else worry about or be okay with them crashing to the ground. I have personally spun plates but have only ever done two at one time. I guess I will just have to remember that...
There was one day this past week that I put all of the spinning plates on hold (even though I was very reluctant to do so) and I went out for the evening with one of my coworkers. She had told me that she had plans to go out and invited me to go - I was trying to find a way to politely back out of the invitation when I received a couple of text messages from her when she was out. Since it wasn't too far from where I life (and I figured it would just be for a little bit), I changed, slapped on some make up and I went out. They got me out on the dance floor and they even convinced me to participate in karaoke (for the first time EVER -- yes, as a singer, I have never done karaoke until this past weekend). It was a fun night (and I actually didn't make it home until almost midnight!) and I've been trying to not give myself too much of a hassle for going out. I think it's something that I might do again but probably not on a regular basis -- since it was way outside of my usual comfort zone.
But on that note, I should probably bring this to a close for tonight dear readers so I can get as much done with what's left of the evening before the week ahead. I hope it's a good one, dear readers! =)
I will have to try very hard to arm myself with this new philosophy on surrender this upcoming week. Some of my responsibilities at work have shifted for the next couple of weeks and while I know I'm up for the challenge, it's going to test this new view on surrender as well as test my opportunity to let my freak flag fly. This responsibility shift is not only going to test me mentally/physically but it is also going to challenge me to learn how and delegate jobs that I would ordinarily just take care of myself. I'm going to be putting in extra hours (which always makes for a nice paycheck) but I know that I will have to learn how and delegate some responsibilities because even with the extra time, there just won't be enough hours in the work day to accomplish everything.
This last one is going to be what's most difficult for me (I have become accustomed to stretching myself too thin physically/mentally/emotionally). I'm the type who will take on additional tasks and just do them myself so I know they're done properly rather than delegate them to someone else. I know that in the long run doing it that way isn't best for anyone involved (because it stresses me out and teaches them that I'll just do the work for them) but I have often found that it's easiest for me at the time to just take on those additional tasks. But I know that for the best interest of everyone in the long run, I do need to start not taking on so much responsibility at once. If I can't find a way to (once again) balance those scales, everything is going to begin to suffer and I don't want that to happen.
This balancing act doesn't just apply to work. I am seriously starting to think that I have multiple sets of scales -- one for work, one for dance, one for "everything else." Maybe because I have multiple scales, that's why I'm having difficulty finding ways to balance everything. I think I have to start looking at things that come up in my day to day activities as spinning plates -- I can only keep so many spinning at one time before they all come crashing to the ground. I guess it's up to me to decide which plates are worth saving and which ones I should either let someone else worry about or be okay with them crashing to the ground. I have personally spun plates but have only ever done two at one time. I guess I will just have to remember that...
There was one day this past week that I put all of the spinning plates on hold (even though I was very reluctant to do so) and I went out for the evening with one of my coworkers. She had told me that she had plans to go out and invited me to go - I was trying to find a way to politely back out of the invitation when I received a couple of text messages from her when she was out. Since it wasn't too far from where I life (and I figured it would just be for a little bit), I changed, slapped on some make up and I went out. They got me out on the dance floor and they even convinced me to participate in karaoke (for the first time EVER -- yes, as a singer, I have never done karaoke until this past weekend). It was a fun night (and I actually didn't make it home until almost midnight!) and I've been trying to not give myself too much of a hassle for going out. I think it's something that I might do again but probably not on a regular basis -- since it was way outside of my usual comfort zone.
But on that note, I should probably bring this to a close for tonight dear readers so I can get as much done with what's left of the evening before the week ahead. I hope it's a good one, dear readers! =)
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