Well, it's back to the "real world" for me and I have had to hit the ground not only running but at breakneck speed. After a week of being back in the "real world" and in a new position at work, I am either ready for another vacation or to invest in a life vest so I don't completely drown. Yes, I am completely up for the new challenge my new work position provides for me but it is going to take some time to wrap my head around it all, get myself organized and make a new name for myself. It is going to also take some time to get used to not only my new role but also my new work hours and figure out how to get everything else accomplished in my day.
I had gotten used to getting off of work, having time to run errands if necessary and then go to dance class or choir or any other appointments I had scheduled during the week. With my change in hours my tight schedule is now even tighter since I have a very limited amount of time between work and class/choir leaving no time to get anything else accomplished. It didn't help that I had two after work meetings this past week and I have one this upcoming week as well. I know that I will just have to once again look at the hours I have in my work day as well as the hours I have outside of work and deem what goes where priority wise and just do the best I can every day. If I have to take it hour by hour for a bit until I get used to things, that's just what I'm going to have to do.
In the midst of trying to learn my new responsibilities/job description at work, learning new dance choreography (and getting ready for some upcoming performances), running errands and just "life" in general, I am going to work at setting some new goals for myself in other aspects of my life. I know that I've often said that I'm going to work at finding some sort of balance for my life and I haven't really done it. This is something that I know I need to remedy and remedy sooner rather than later. One of the problems with that is, I'm still not 100% sure how to go about finding/applying said balance to my life.
I guess one of the things that I need to do is approach this challenge as I approach using my sword during dance. I know that with my sword if I attempt to do too much too fast, the sword won't stay balanced and I could potentially hurt myself or someone else. The same goes with trying to find/apply balance to different aspects of my life -- if I attempt to do too much too fast, I could possibly hurt myself (in the physical, emotional or psychological sense) or there is that chance that I could hurt someone else (even if it's unintentional). And neither of those is something that I'd really like to have happen...
Something else that I really need to learn how to do along this quest is learn that it's okay to put myself first sometimes. For example, some time ago I did something to one of my knees. On my vacation is was feeling much better; almost to the point where I thought I had allowed it to heal completely. As soon as I get back, I begin to push myself again and my knee is right back to how it was - tender, sore and it occasionally gives out on me. So do I take time off? Of course not. I just have to keep physically pushing myself and wonder if it's ever going to completely heal without needing to one day think about seeing a doctor or having surgery. I don't want either of those things to have to happen.
If I don't want to cause permanent damage to my knee, I guess that is pretty perfect motivation to figure out a way to find that balance and make it happen. Well, before I head to bed tonight, maybe that will provide some down time for me in order to start brainstorming of how to bring this balance into the different aspects of my life. I think I'm also going to take the opportunity to use a heating pad or something on my knee. Fingers crossed that it'll help...
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Familiar
I am unfortunately finding myself in familiar territory and that is not necessarily a good thing... I once again find myself writing from an airport terminal (it is a different airport than from where i have written before) in the middle of the night and am trying to keep myself awake. There are a few things currently going on around me to help in that assignment of staying up -- there is a maintenance man using a what appears to be a floor buffer on the carpet nearby, another maintenance man pretty much doing donuts with the big zamboni looking floor cleaner and it sounds like two kids screaming a couple of gates from where I'm sitting. I was SUPPOSED to be at home in bed by now but severe weather problems delayed my first flight and it's been nothing but delays since. Currently I have one plane left to catch but it will be approximately 6 hours from now. With that being the case, I will have to try and stay awake most of the day (maybe allow myself a brief nap) so I can go to bed at a decent time since I will have to be at work very early tomorrow morning with a full day ahead of me. And it also doesn't help that my sunburn has been peeling and from traveling, my legs REALLY itch!
=(
I knew before I went on vacation that when I got back to work I would be changing age groups of the children I've been working with and moving into a new program setting. What I have found out from reading work emails, tomorrow will be a very long day with an after hours meeting, followed by an hour of dance class (then meeting will have me miss my first dance class and actually cause me to be late to the second hour). I also have an after hours meeting scheduled for Tuesday as well. I know that sometimes after a vacation it is better to hit the ground running and get back into some sense of normalcy but I would have appreciated at least a little bit of time to reflect on having a vacation and not going so crazy that it feels as if I didn't have one at all.... Sigh.... No, Dad, being a grown up is NOT fun in this case. =(
Having all of these flight issues today has not helped my disposition when I am one who absolutely HATES to say good-bye at the end of a visit. I was always the kid who willingly got in the car before I absolutely had to in order to drive home the 12-14 hours it would take to head home from visiting family because I didn't want to have to say good-bye. That feeling has never gone away and it hasn't gotten any easier. It probably also doesn't help that my good-byes were slightly prolonged this trip too. I said good-bye to my brother-in-law the other day, my sister and her two sons two days ago, one of my brothers early yesterday afternoon, my other brother and his wife and son later in the afternoon and then my parents at the airport. Then came the flight issues and having to call the generous person who has been watching my dogs to see if she could take care of them this morning since I wouldn't be making it home until later than anticipated. I can definitely say that it has been an emotionally and physically exhausting day yesterday/this evening/and I have a feeling tomorrow as well.
One of the things that I have always liked when traveling (but makes it hard for me as well) is the smells that you bring with you. Ever notice how each place you visit has a distinctive smell? Whether it be the smell of however many people have stayed in the hotel room you're in, or if your visiting family the smells are different. When you open your suitcase when you finally get home, those smells linger on your clothes (either they do for everyone or I'm just weird like that). I always seem to notice that when I've been with my parents, when I get home, my clothes still smell like their house and for those couple of days, I still have that connection to "home". Okay, I'll admit it, maybe that makes me some sort of sentimental type, and when other times I might protest to that, in this case, I'll own it. For as crazy as family can make us all at times, there are literally times where I ache for my family since I can't be near them all the time. I am thankful for photos I have of my visit but I wish it didn't have to end. I know that all good things do eventually have to end but I guess I just wish that it didn't have to be so hard... =(
Maybe one of the reasons (other than my usual neurotic ones) saying good-bye was difficult this time is my Dad had surgery while I was there. While he's okay and it was an relatively minor one (although complicated), it was difficult for me to see him that way. Yes, he's had surgeries before and has another one scheduled for a couple of weeks from now, but it was hard for me. I was "nurse" as best as I could be when Mom wasn't there but there wasn't much that I could do for him other than to try my best to keep their dogs calm/quiet (which is not always an easy task). I guess there I just wish I could've done more for you, Dad and I wish that I could be there for you (and Mom) when you have your next surgery (even though you have the "best" doctor).
Okay my readers, I think the time has come for me to switch my tactics of staying awake and watching a movie or something since the music in the airport has switched from show tunes that I could hum along to (since they are just done on piano or orchestra) to some weird jazz music. For anyone stuck in the airport or traveling, I wish you safe travels and that you get to your destination (mostly) on time! =)
=(
I knew before I went on vacation that when I got back to work I would be changing age groups of the children I've been working with and moving into a new program setting. What I have found out from reading work emails, tomorrow will be a very long day with an after hours meeting, followed by an hour of dance class (then meeting will have me miss my first dance class and actually cause me to be late to the second hour). I also have an after hours meeting scheduled for Tuesday as well. I know that sometimes after a vacation it is better to hit the ground running and get back into some sense of normalcy but I would have appreciated at least a little bit of time to reflect on having a vacation and not going so crazy that it feels as if I didn't have one at all.... Sigh.... No, Dad, being a grown up is NOT fun in this case. =(
Having all of these flight issues today has not helped my disposition when I am one who absolutely HATES to say good-bye at the end of a visit. I was always the kid who willingly got in the car before I absolutely had to in order to drive home the 12-14 hours it would take to head home from visiting family because I didn't want to have to say good-bye. That feeling has never gone away and it hasn't gotten any easier. It probably also doesn't help that my good-byes were slightly prolonged this trip too. I said good-bye to my brother-in-law the other day, my sister and her two sons two days ago, one of my brothers early yesterday afternoon, my other brother and his wife and son later in the afternoon and then my parents at the airport. Then came the flight issues and having to call the generous person who has been watching my dogs to see if she could take care of them this morning since I wouldn't be making it home until later than anticipated. I can definitely say that it has been an emotionally and physically exhausting day yesterday/this evening/and I have a feeling tomorrow as well.
One of the things that I have always liked when traveling (but makes it hard for me as well) is the smells that you bring with you. Ever notice how each place you visit has a distinctive smell? Whether it be the smell of however many people have stayed in the hotel room you're in, or if your visiting family the smells are different. When you open your suitcase when you finally get home, those smells linger on your clothes (either they do for everyone or I'm just weird like that). I always seem to notice that when I've been with my parents, when I get home, my clothes still smell like their house and for those couple of days, I still have that connection to "home". Okay, I'll admit it, maybe that makes me some sort of sentimental type, and when other times I might protest to that, in this case, I'll own it. For as crazy as family can make us all at times, there are literally times where I ache for my family since I can't be near them all the time. I am thankful for photos I have of my visit but I wish it didn't have to end. I know that all good things do eventually have to end but I guess I just wish that it didn't have to be so hard... =(
Maybe one of the reasons (other than my usual neurotic ones) saying good-bye was difficult this time is my Dad had surgery while I was there. While he's okay and it was an relatively minor one (although complicated), it was difficult for me to see him that way. Yes, he's had surgeries before and has another one scheduled for a couple of weeks from now, but it was hard for me. I was "nurse" as best as I could be when Mom wasn't there but there wasn't much that I could do for him other than to try my best to keep their dogs calm/quiet (which is not always an easy task). I guess there I just wish I could've done more for you, Dad and I wish that I could be there for you (and Mom) when you have your next surgery (even though you have the "best" doctor).
Okay my readers, I think the time has come for me to switch my tactics of staying awake and watching a movie or something since the music in the airport has switched from show tunes that I could hum along to (since they are just done on piano or orchestra) to some weird jazz music. For anyone stuck in the airport or traveling, I wish you safe travels and that you get to your destination (mostly) on time! =)
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