Impossibilities

As the title suggests, I am having to face some question as to what is possible/impossible to get done in an hour, a day, a week, etc... I have never been one that was able to delegate responsibilities well; that is something I am seriously going to have to work on if I am going to be able to accomplish everything that needs to be done as well as find time to relax and sleep (but with the touch of insomnia I have been facing, I should have plenty of time to get things done in the middle of the night, right?).

As I said, I think I am going to just have to get better at learning how to delegate some of my responsibilities in order to get things done as well as save my sanity. In order for me to do this, I know for myself, I'm going to have to start with small things but that's better than nothing. Maybe I just need to remember a lesson that I learned years ago from someone I worked under... She knew from her own experience that one of my ideas was going to fail. She didn't tell me before hand but waited until I failed and she then talked with me about what had happened. I learned more from the "failure" of it for myself than her telling me before hand that it wasn't going to work. I think I may need to remember that with some people I work with. I don't necessarily need to step in and "save" them beforehand, rather, help them in learning from the situation and then help them to move (hopefully) onwards and upwards from there. That's really all I can do.

There are times where I wish I could clone myself so I could accomplish everything that I need to do. But, then I think, what opportunities/experiences would I miss out on that the other "me" would get to? What people wouldn't I meet? What would I miss out in learning? With those questions, I'm better of just staying as one me and figuring out the balance that I need. Plus, what would the world do with more than one me? =)

Something else for me to work on is when to take things personally vs. slapping a smile on my face and thinking to myself, "this situation has provided me new blog material...." There are situations that I just need to take a step back and wonder if it's truly worth it to internalize it or not. I have a habit where I internalize situations and then try to let go of them later. Maybe I need to try and approach situations from the opposite perspective - - asses the situation and then worry if it is worth internalizing or not. I'm no help to myself or anyone else if I'm too stressed to function...

There are certain things that I need to accomplish to do each day/week and I need to find ways to limit my stress. I know, I know. Way easier said than done. I guess this is just one more facet to my quest. Wow... with all of these different facets, I'm going to be an interesting gem when I get closer to the end of my quest. =)

On the plus side, we had a Casbah last night (where we turned the dance studio into a nightclub) where I danced my sword solo again and I have to say that I was pretty pleased with my performance. Sure, there were parts of it that I feel as I could have done better but I was overall pleased with it. When I was done, several people told me that they could tell I truly love to dance from the expression that was on my face as I was performing. That was definitely good to hear. I have to remind myself that each time I have the opportunity to perform, I just need to go out there and do my best and that's all there is to it. Yet another facet.... =)

Well, on that note, one of the facets of my life I need to work on is relaxing a bit before bed I think so I can have a peaceful night's sleep.... Here's hoping! =)

100 posts

Where does the times go? According to my blog home page, I have written 100 posts. Really? One hundred posts? I guess if nothing else, seeing on my screen that I have written 100 posts shows me there has been a definite passage of time. I can also go back and read that I have made progress (even though I have those days that I feel as if I haven't made any progress whatsoever....).

In a lot of avenues, the number 100 is significant. In elementary schools, the 100th day of school is met with celebrations. In money, when you reach 100, you transfer coins to paper money. People watch their odometers switch over to 100. So, in my opinion, the reaching 100 posts of Gypsy's Quest is a milestone. =)

Sure, I know that I have done some ranting and raving along the way but I also hope that I have said something to reach someone out there in cyberspace (I don't always know without comments). Granted, I write for me but I do know that there are people out there who power up their computers on Monday to see what I've had to say (Good morning, Grandma!). That alone is a good feeling.

There are some days where it is difficult to believe that I have been writing for just about two years now. It is interesting for me to go back and reread some of the things that I have written over these last 100 posts. As I said, I can see that I have made progress (which, for me, is extremely important on my "bad" days). On those bad days, I can reread what I have written and I try really hard to look at things objectively, almost as if I'm reading about a character in a book.

I am attempting to look at things now as the next chapters of me. My life is still the same novel but the character of me is evolving. Not necessarily evolving in the way that I expected things to go but evolving nonetheless. I guess that's one way to look at an adventure or a quest - it doesn't always evolve in the way that you plan but then again, it wouldn't be an adventure/quest if you had all of the answers... While there are times where I'm tempted to flip to the last few chapters and see where I end up, but then again, if I did that, I wouldn't appreciate the good things as much without having to deal with the bumps along the way.

After rereading my post from last week, something that I am going to strive to work on is not being so hard on myself on a regular basis. I know that this isn't something that is going to change over night, but it is something that I am going to add to my list of goals. I am going to begin to allow myself to have off days/moments and accept that I am going to mess up along the way. But like my Mom has told me, if you make a mess of things, clean up the mess, assess the damage and move on. That's really all I can do. Yes, there are parts of my life that have been awfully messy, but I am working on cleaning those areas up and assessing the damage. We'll see where I end up in the next 100 posts. Thank you so much for reading! =)