Moving past the screw up

The ordeal with my car is finally over and my "baby" is safe and sound back in my driveway where it belongs.  The person who was assigned to be my point of contact at the shop (the lady who didn't want me to be mad at her) called me on Tuesday this past week to let me know the needed parts arrived, the repairs on my car were complete and my car was ready and waiting for me.  When I reminded her that I would not be picking up my car until the weekend she seemed flabbergasted and said "but it's ready and waiting for you and it's going to be sad..." Really?  It's a car.  It doesn't acre if it has to sit on the back lot for a few days until I can pick it up...  Oh, well.  As I said, the ordeal is over and I (hopefully) don't have to take the car back for another year.

I heard something this past week on TV that has stayed with me.  I couldn't tell you what show it was on, why it was said or the context but I remember what was said: "it's not about the screw up, it's about the recovery."  While that's easier said than done, it's something that I know I need to work on; if nothing else for my own mental well being...  I am one that not only dwells on the screw up, I beat myself up over it, will over analyze it, beat myself up more over it, have difficulty forgiving myself for the screw up and then tend to have another screw up (or two or three) because I'm focusing on said screw up.  Since I'm hyper-focused on the screw up itself, I have trouble moving on to the stage of recovery and even moving past the screw up; because I'm a perfectionist, this can make things more difficult.  It's exhausting trying to be perfect all the time; not perfect in the eyes of others but trying to meet my own standards for myself...

This struggle of balance is particularly difficult this time of year.  Valentine's Day has definitely become a consumeristic holiday and stores and commercials have become inundated with hearts, Cupid, romance, engagement announcements, etc. and that can be difficult for those of us who are single.  Granted, I don't necessarily know what I would do with a significant other currently since I am a workaholic (and then have dance/choir as extracurriculars) and am never home but occasionally it would be nice to have someone to come home to.  I have my two little dogs who (for the most part) love me unconditionally and will snuggle with me on the couch but they refuse to cook me dinner, do the dishes or help pick up the apartment.  Maybe one of these days I'll have someone to help with those things and who will care about me but this is not that year.

Even when I did have a significant other I didn't like to put a lot of emphasis on Valentine's Day.  Why only take one day out of the year to tell the person in your life that you love them?  I know that some people have difficulty expressing themselves and how they feel (my wasband was one of those individuals) so for them having one day out of the year is a focus point for them.  I know relationships such as this are possible because I have seen examples of them in my life - my parents and both sets of grandparents just to name a few.  They didn't need one particular day out of the year in order to express themselves but they did it all the time.  The examples I have in my life might be one of the reasons I have such high expectations when it comes to what a relationship should be and that's definitely not a bad thing...

I decided that it's a good thing I didn't have thought bubbles appear out of my head for everyone to see my thoughts today while I was in church.  The sermon was based on the temptations in the desert and the pastor was talking about turning rocks into bread.  After she made the statement, she paused, and for some reason the thought that popped into my head was "rocks turning into bread; what a stupid super power that would be..."  Maybe that just means I've been watching too many superhero movies as of late.

Tomorrow I get to enjoy a day off of work and while it will be nice to have the break, that means I have to cram five days worth of work into four.  Even though that is the case, I'm going to try very hard to leave work at work and not stress about it while I'm at home.  While I know that will be way easier said than done, I am going to attempt it.  As I work on moving past screw ups and not overly stressing on things I am going to enjoy as much muchness as I can and I hope you're able to do the same!  Thank you for joining me, my dear readers!  =)