Me

What I thought were allergies last week, turned into a pretty nasty/wicked cold.  I have had a plugged head (severe nasal congestion), a cough where I was hacking all sorts of things up and with all of the coughing, I ended up losing my voice.  After a couple of days of snuffing and coughing stuff up, I went to the drug store pharmacy counter to buy a box of the "good" medication.  I understand the necessity for being careful with medication and all but as I'm standing there coughing up a lung is it really necessary to question if I'm sick or not?  Once I finished signing my life away for my medication I was on the road to feeling better.  I'm still not 100% (and I did take a couple of hours off of work on Friday and have taken naps Friday, yesterday and today) but I'm feeling way more up to the task of facing the week ahead than I did last Sunday.  I guess that's a good thing.

I decided this week that I'm once again going to need to work on my comeback lines or at least have a couple of "go to" ones to use depending on the situation.  I had a random individual approach me this past week and told me, "I applaud your lifestyle choice."  What I wish I would have said right back to them was, "and which lifestyle choice are you referring to?"  I didn't realize a woman who lets her freak flag fly and has an amazing short haircut needs to have her "lifestyle choices" applauded or questioned.  Granted, I shouldn't have necessarily assumed she was referring to my sexual preferences (even though I'm about 95% sure that's what she was referring to) but it is what it is at this point.  I guess I just have to get better at asking for clarification rather than just walking way (which is what I did in this instance).

If this individual meant anything by her statement or not, I'm not going to let it get to me.  Am I going to change my hairstyle just because someone I don't know doesn't like it?  No way!  I love it and am still having fun with it and that's what's important to me.  I'm happy that people I work/dance with like it but if they didn't I still wouldn't change it back.  That's an important step for me.  There was a time that if people didn't like something I'd done to change my image, I would have asked for their opinion and then changed it back.  Now, I love my new hair (and have loved it since I saw the original photo of it) and wouldn't change it for anyone.  Maybe I am making progress after all...

I had the opportunity to read someone else's blog post this week and as I was reading it, some of what they had written is what I've done.  They were writing about the times they have given other people permission to control what she does in her life.  She had decided she wanted her hair to be pink -- rather than just going for it, she let the opinions of others talk her out of dying her hair pink.  After some time had passed, she realized that while she really did value their opinions, she still wanted pink hair and she decided to go for it.  She wrote that when she gave herself permission to control her own life, she felt better not only about the decisions she was making but she also felt better about herself.  Her post really hit home with me.

There have been times that I have wanted to do things for myself and I have either let others talk me out of those decisions or I have let what I thought their opinions be talk myself out it what I've wanted to do.  One of the things I decided for myself (other than my haircut) when I was on my vacation was I got a new tattoo.  I know I've mentioned that in other posts but I haven't gone into much detail about it. This tattoo is on my arm and it takes up almost all of the outer side of my upper arm.  The design is two lotus flowers with smoke curling out of them and at the top of the smoke is the ohm symbol.  Some people have asked me if I've changed religions because I got the ohm symbol in my tattoo and that's not why I got it.  There are many explanations surrounding the ohm symbol in a tattoo -- the one that struck me was evolution.  I am working on my personal evolution/growth.  The lotus flowers grow in mud and yet are beautiful flowers -- something that I am working on doing for myself.  The tattoo is symbolic for me and that's what should matter.  I know people have opinions on tattoos and on tattoo meanings, but I did this for me and that's what I find to be important.

Well, my dear readers, because I've been sick all this week, I should probably sign off for this evening and think about going to bed on time.  I hope we all have a week filled with muchness and possibilities!