There's something about a circus...

"Ladies and gentleman!  Boys and Girls!  Children of all ages!"....  "May all your days be circus days!"  There is something about those phrases along with the smell of the circus (the animals, the cotton candy, the popcorn, etc.) that takes me back to being five years old - where anything and everything was possible and the circus was AMAZING!

Yesterday I told my oldest nephew on a "date" to the circus and I'm not sure who enjoyed it more - him or me.  I picked him up early and we went to the pre-circus fair where he asked if he could ride a camel.  I told him he could ride a camel which he really enjoyed; there was no one waiting after him so he got an extra lap even.  After he rode the camel, I asked him if he wanted to ride an elephant because the line at that moment was short and it would be his only opportunity (my parents took him to the circus a couple of years ago; he didn't want to ride the elephant initially but wanted to after the show and it was impossible due to the length of the line).  At first he said he didn't want to ride an elephant because they were too big but when I offered to ride the elephant with him, he decided that it would be okay.  I immensely enjoyed riding the elephant and I think he enjoyed it even though he was scared.

After our ride on the elephant, we decided it might be a good time to at least locate our seats.  I had selected the seats that I wanted (I wanted to sit in front of center ring and high enough that we could see everything) but I didn't realize what good seats we had - I had purchased club seats which were just in front of box seats; we had two section attendants and a waitress so we could order off a specialty menu if we wanted to.  We were informed that they didn't think that the circus food vendors would come up as high as we were so, since we still had plenty of time before the show started, we went to find cotton candy and the first of a few souvenirs (he ended up with a stuffed white tiger and a light stick and I ended up with a light stick and he bought me a stuffed elephant so I "could remember our elephant ride together").  We got back to our seats where the waitress appeared and asked if we wanted to order anything.  After debating things, we ended up ordering a jumbo popcorn, soda, and a box of chicken tenders and french fries.  Our food arrived just as the show was getting ready to start.

When the lights went down, the spotlight came on, and the ringmaster said those iconic words - "Ladies and gentleman!  Boys and Girls!  Children of all ages!", I got chills/choked up.  This was exactly what I needed!  Several of the acts were "one and only" acts - performing camels, amazing aerial acts,  a high-wire act where the woman not only sang but she is the only woman who attempts to carry a man on her shoulders and walks the high-wire.  At the end of the circus, when the ringmaster announced, "and until we meet again, MAY ALL YOUR DAYS BE CIRCUS DAYS!" I have to admit that I got chills/choked up again.

This past week was filled with some good things and some not good things so I'm glad I took the time to go to the circus.  I took some time away from work this week in order to get my hair cut and colored - I do like how it looks however, it took way longer than anticipated as the stylist had to add bleach to my hair three different times and the color twice in order to make things happen.  The next day, I was helping a child who was having a screaming fit at drop off and when I was accepting a child from another parent, she saw it as her opportunity to attempt to escape - I went to move to catch her, when I stepped on a small block and fell onto my knee straight on the tile floor while turning my body in order to not squish the child I was holding.  I'm not one who likes to go to the doctor but I figured since my fall happened at work and it was my knee I should probably get it checked out.  I had to wait for my assistant director to arrive (which was just shy of 4 hours after I fell) and I went to a walk-in orthopedic clinic.  Four sets of x-rays and an exam later told me that I had a sprained knee and I'm to keep it wrapped for the next week; if it's not better at the end of that time, I get to go back for more tests.  Yippee!  Thankfully the swelling on it has gone down but it is still tender at times so I'm still trying to take it as easy as I can.  The plus side is I was told I should wear tennis shoes to work for the next week as well as avoid stairs if/when possible (so I get to ask people to go upstairs to get documents off the printer for me).

Having the opportunity to go to the circus this past week has put some thoughts in my head as to not having the circus that is my life under control and that is something that I have written about a handful of times before.  In January of 2015 I wrote, Another area that's been a work in progress is the circus that is my life.  I am still working on getting the generators up and running 100%, the popcorn popped, the cotton candy spun and make sure everyone is where they're supposed to be.  Maybe part of the problem is my circus is too large - acts stretched between too many tents, the acrobats have to be lion tamers too, the clowns also walk the tightrope, and the animals all have to learn how to juggle.  I need to learn how to downsize the circus and allow the performers to do the stunts they are comfortable with -- this will make my job as ringmaster immensely easier.  The ringmaster of a circus doesn't have to be personally involved in every act or take the place of their performers.  I feel as if I have had to be ready at any given moment to jump into the performance and announce and keep everyone happy and ready to go on at any time.  It's exhausting...  I guess I just need to get better at managing the circus instead of micromanaging as I unfortunately have a tendency to gravitate towards.

In April 2016 I wrote, I saw a sign this past week that said, "Don't mind the sawdust; this circus is under renovations."  After seeing the sign, it struck me that my own circus needs some renovations, too.  I know I've written about it before but I need to do something - the clowns/acrobats/animals/trapeze-ists/trainers/everyone else are tired and they need some semblance of a change of pace.  Going non-stop at at a breakneck pace will take a toll on the best of us and this particular ringmaster (me) is just plain tired...  

Now that I realize that "history is repeating itself" and I have fallen back into old habits due to becoming a ringmaster of a new circus (my new job), I need to take inventory of things I have and how I am going to turn these new circuses which are my new job and my new life around.  I haven't figured that out yet but it's a place to start.  On that note, this ringmaster has a few things to accomplish (help with dishes and laundry being two of those things), I am going to put this away for the evening.  May all your days be circus days!

Adventures....

This upcoming Wednesday, I will be playing hooky from work for a few hours to get my hair done.  This past week, I worked too many extra hours (again) and even though I have a feeling it's going to happen again this week it won't be near as many hours because of my appointment.

At work this past week, I had the adventure of one of the bus drivers calling in the morning to say he couldn't drive the AM route because he had been in a minor car accident.  I learned very quickly that morning that him calling in meant that I got to drive his bus route.  Luckily work has two 14-passenger buses but that didn't make it any less intimidating for someone who drives a smart car (luckily, I had just taken turns to drive the U-Haul during my move a month ago).  I told the kids on both bus runs that I needed them to "be quiet and be helpful" because I had never driven a vehicle like that before, I wasn't 100% sure where I was going and I needed to hear my GPS, and I needed their assistance as we got closer to the schools so I could be told where to drop them off - did I follow the buses, the cars,what door did I drop them off at, etc.  The kids did a pretty good job in helping me out but it's not a responsibility that I would want to have on a regular basis...

Another interesting mishap at work this past week is someone went home with the extra set of keys which are supposed to stay in the building and are the ones that I use to open the building in the morning.  Since I couldn't open the closet to get out the toys the kids are allowed to play with in the very early morning, I had to frantically piece together things for them to use and it just threw the morning off.  After that happened, I told my boss that I needed my own keys if I was going to be expected to do my job; not having another set of keys, my boss gave me her keys to use for now.  On the days/times she was actually in the building this week, she didn't like having to ask me to borrow her keys in order to get into her office but I use them on a regular basis throughout the day.

Because I'm working too many hours and not getting enough sleep at night, I am still sick.  I keep thinking that maybe I'm starting to feel better but then my stuffy nose and horrible cough come back with a vengeance.  One of these days I will need to figure out how to do a better job in taking care of myself but I haven't found that day yet.  I did take a much needed nap this afternoon so I guess that's a start...

Well, my dear readers, as the hour grows late, and the alarm clock is relentless, so I will bring this to a close for the evening.  Thank you for joining me and I hope that you have your own adventures this week.  =)

New Baby!

Yesterday my brother and his wife welcomed their new little one into the world and we finally have a baby girl in the family; after four nephews, I also now have a niece!  We got the call yesterday morning that the baby was on the way but we didn't know if they were having a boy or a girl - they (my brother and sister-in-law) didn't know if they were having a boy or girl either.  Shortly after she arrived, we received word that we had a new little girl in the family.  A few hours later, my parents and I got to go see her in the hospital and we all had the opportunity to hold her.  This was my first time getting to hold one of the babies right after they were born (the others, I had to wait months before I got to see/hold them) and I was very glad to get the chance.  Mom and I went again to see everyone in the hospital and to hold the baby again.  She is a beatiful little girl and the perfect little armful.

I worked an almost 60 hour work week this past week and I really need to find a way to get that under control.  I just left a job where I worked way too many hours on a regular basis and I didn't really plan on jumping into the next job feeling the need to do the same thing.  Being on salary, for someone like me, is a really bad thing - it's bad for me but really really good for my employer.  I need to find a way to create some balance...

I am hoping to get some sleep tonight after what I accomplished today - I was a heathen today and didn't get up in time to go to church with my parents but while they were there, I ate breakfast, did all of the dishes, walked on the treadmill for 1 mile, went grocery shopping, cooked lunch for the three of us, went to see the baby, came back, did the dishes again and now I'm writing.

Since I have to get up so early to get ready for work, I am going to bring this to a close for the evening so I can get ready for the day ahead.  Tomorrow at work includes a meeting with a consultant  who is supposed to help prepare me for my job (even though I'm already two weeks in)...  Thanks for joining week and I hope your week is an uneventful one!  =)

Reminding myself...

So, we are one week into the new year - how's it been for you so far my dear readers?  Did you make any new year's resolutions?  Have you stuck to those resolutions?  Do you already want to make new resolutions?

I have already had to remind myself a couple of times in this past week that I didn't want to make resolutions for myself this year but I wanted to make some true lifestyle changes and changes to the ways I look at things.  There have been times already that I find myself slipping into old habits and trying to find ways to conform to the me that I feel I'm "supposed to" be; I am trying not to become overly frustrated with myself when this happens but even that is difficult.  In my head I do know/realize that change takes time, that it's not going to be instantaneous (even if that is what I would prefer), and be okay if/when I stumble and fall along the way.

I know that part of my frustration is stemming from the fact the transition to my new job has not been as smooth as I hoped that it would be.  In the four days that I've been there, I've realized that it is a 180 degree paradigm shift from what I've become accustomed to where I've worked the last almost nine years and that means I am going to have to change the way my mind thinks about work.  I have also had to make a major shift to my internal clock as I have to get up at 4 AM in order to get ready for work; have to be there by 5:15 AM to get the building ready for kids to start arriving my 6 AM; and have worked through lunch everyday (eating at my shared workspace) and leave sometime after 3:30 PM (one day I left at closer to 5 PM and one day around 4:30 PM).  Yes, I am grateful that I have already found a new job but I don't like feeling as if I'm already going to have to put in 12 hour + plus days again because I really don't want to go back to doing that.

I am trying to remain positive about the new job and look for ways to make positive changes where and how I can.  I have already been told by a couple of staff members that I am a "child whisperer" since I can get kids to do what's being asked by them (i.e. cleaning up, sitting and listening to a story, and getting kids that never sleep to take naps).  I see it as just another day and I have to remind myself that not everyone is like me - I've known that I would work with kids in one form or another since I was in Kindergarten myself; all these years later, even though I'm a director, I still work with the kids.  I can use my knowledge to go into the classrooms here and help the staff who are novices at working with kids or just need a new way of thinking of things.  If nothing else, I can help the people who are working with kids to be better educators even if they don't have the educational experience that I have or the background that I do.  I just have to remind myself of that.

Another thing that I need to remind myself of is that I cannot do it all and I cannot do it all myself.  That's not something that I necessary like to admit because one of my phrases from when I was little has always been "do it myself".  I guess I just have to learn how to be selective of who I ask for help and in what instances to see if that helps me at all...

Well, my dear readers, I have once again left myself with something to think about and even though there has been many a time that this is when I've started writing my blog post for the evening, I am going to bring this to a close since 4 am comes awfully early...  Thank you for joining me on my journey and I wish you the best of luck on yours.  =)

P.S.  Happy Birthday, Grandma!

New Year - allowing myself to be me

Christmas is over; the decorations and tree are put away for another year and a new year is upon us.  As 2017 is beginning, people are talking about resolutions and what they are hoping the new year will hold for them.  I have been drawn to two different quotes about starting the year; "Today is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one."; "We're all just stories in the end; make it a good one."  How is my book going to read?  I'm not sure yet since I'm only on page one but I'm definitely hoping this one is going to be a good one...

On Tuesday this week, I will be starting my new job and I am both excited and nervous about facing the new challenges associated with the new job.  While my new job is going to be similar to the jobs I've held over the last number of years in one capacity or another, it's going to be just different enough that it's making me apprehensive.  Rather than making trouble for myself before the job even starts, I know I just need to go in, face the challenges in front of me and not create new drama/problems for myself before they begin - but I'm finding that to be difficult.  This past week, I went in to drop off paperwork, collect a couple of signatures so I could start the hiring process (had to go for fingerprinting, a drug test and a TB test for preemployment), and I received a tour of the facilities.  From the tour, there are a few things I've already seen that I want to inquire about changing but I don't want to go in and change too much too fast and cause resentment amongst the staff who don't know me and to whom I'm an outsider.

As I was debating what to write about today, I reread my post from the start of 2016 and one of the sections of that particular post really resonated with me:  I don't understand why we tell kids to reach for the stars or to dream big when we discourage adults to do the same thing.  We tell adults to get their heads out of the clouds and to stay grounded.  We tell kids that it's okay to color outside the lines but as adults, we have to stay within the constrains of those lines.  What changes along the way from what we tell kids and what we tell adults?  And why do we do it?  Is it, because as adults we've forgotten how to dream big, reach for the stars or color just for the fun of it?  Are we just too busy trying to strive for perfection that we not willing to make mistakes?  This is something that I want to change for myself personally - not as a resolution but as a personal lifestyle change.

New Year's is a time where many people try to "reinvent" themselves but one of the things I'm noticing about myself with this move and preparation for new job and everything - I like me and the me that I am allowing to come through.  This past week, Mom and I went clothes shopping in anticipation of my new job and I bought some pretty "fun/funky" articles of clothing that most people wouldn't have taken a second glance at - but they are very me.  I have also gotten slightly obsessed with Pinterest in finding ideas for ways to decorate when I have a place of my own.  I am learning what I like and what I don't like and it's been kind of a fun process.

With this new year, new move, and kind of blank slate before me, I want to put in writing to remind myself to dream big, add color to my life and see what adventures 2017 has in store and I encourage you to do the same thing, my dear readers.  I have a feeling Gypsy's Quest might make some twists and turns this year but I'm ready to buckle up and enjoy the ride!  Thanks for joining me and Happy New Year!