I came across a perfect saying this past week; "How am I supposed to make big life decisions when I still have to sing the alphabet in my head to get to the right letter?" I came across this, as I was getting ready for work on Friday and I just had to stop and laugh out loud (of course, causing my dog to stop and look at me as if I'd officially lost it). The reason I felt as if this was perfectly appropriate for me is I feel as if I've been struggling with big life decisions lately and I'm just standing here singing the alphabet...
Last week I touched on the fact that I most likely made a HUGE mistake in looking at houses for sale in the town I grew up in (currently where all of my immediate family lives and is 3000 miles from where I currently reside). Even though my head has been questioning my sanity, I keep looking at photos/listings online. Part of me wonders if I keep going back to the house I fell in love with from photos is because of the excitement of possibilities or if I'm just waiting for it's to become someone else's dream house because they've bought it. Granted, from the photos and my general knowledge of it's location (I've never seen it in person but have fallen in love from possibilities of what I can see in the photos), this is my "dream witch's cottage/fairy house." Logically, I know I need to stop dreaming of it (yes, I've seen myself living there) since I probably can't realistically afford it based on the cost of living pay cut I'll have to take and I'm struggling with getting my hopes up of living there...
After starting my Friday with a good laugh over the ABC's, I had a major monkey wrench thrown into things at work. One of my staff was supposed to leave tomorrow on a week long travel but a question arose in terms of what their schedule looked like and them getting paid only for an 8 hour day. Once it went through several channels, it was determined that an hourly employee shouldn't be going and a salaried employee should be on travel - lo and behold, I'm the salaried employee who gets to leave on travel tomorrow. It's not that I'm against going, I just don't like it being dropped on me so last minute. As it set in that my boss wanted me to go, I immediately had to start figuring out what to do with my dogs; the lady who usually helps out in watching them is going out of town herself so she's unavailable. It helps to make an already frustrating situation even more frustrating.
I mean I guess I should look at it as my boss has such faith in me that I can just drop everything and go away on business for a week with less than one work day's notice but that's not necessarily how I view it. I saw Friday as drop everything, squeeze into the remainder of the day (other than an hour long meeting) five days worth of work, and try to learn everything I could about what the upcoming week has in store for me. I still have some holes in knowing what is happening starting tomorrow but I guess at this point it really does me no good to keep worrying about it. What's going to happen is going to happen and the rest is out of my hands. Yes, I can type that but it doesn't necessarily make me feel a whole lot better...
Well, on that note my dear readers, I think I'm going to bring this to a close, probably pack a suitcase and sing my ABC's... I hope you have a great week, dear readers! Thanks for joining me again along my journey! =)
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Fire was extinguished....
Well my dear readers, I must confess that the fire I talked about last week I not only allowed to have the flames be put out but they were also doused with water so it will take time in order for there to be a spark again. That may or may not be the case but it seems like it after the week I had...
My week was filled with trying to project next year's budget (bleck...), meetings, trainings, trying to track down new computers for the building (they were delivered, the tech department was supposed to pick them up to format them, no one knew who had them, back & forth, they were finally located, formatted, picked up and on the desks - one out of five doesn't want to work though...) and I ended up working Monday - Saturday. Yesterday I worked a carnival-type event for a similar program that I work for (we partnered with them for this event and they partner with us for one of our events in the fall); the unfortunate thing about the event is we were in a parking lot and my sunscreen wore off so I ended up with a bit of a sunburn...
I'm hoping that this upcoming week is a little calmer because even though a lot happened this past week, I don't necessarily feel as if I was able to get much accomplished. The work is piled up on my desk so I'm hoping to be able to get myself organized tomorrow so I can start working my way through the massive "to do" list. Although I have this massive to do list, I also know that I need to find ways to balance my days to keep me from getting overwhelmed and burned out - because I'm honestly feeling borderline burned out.
It probably doesn't help that I received news that one of my dance mentors is moving to the east coast at the end of the summer (she received a wonderful job opportunity and she's taking it). She's selling her house and while I would love to live there, I plain can't afford it. Because I was looking at her house (and there is no way I can afford any house in this area), I started looking at other houses... In looking at houses, I absolutely fell in love with a home where my family lives. It's hard to know that it's there and without a job there, it's just a pipe dream (and it's heartbreaking because I have fallen in love with this house just from pictures)...
One of the things I did just realize is since August 2009, I have written 300 posts here on Gypsy's Quest. What started out as a project for me to document starting my new life as a newly wounded divorcee has hit quite a milestone. When I'm feeling low, I just need to keep reminding myself just how far I've come since I started out on this quest and that quests by very nature of their name are going to be complicated/complex. What I need to remember is to not kick myself when things aren't going "exactly perfectly right" (since that level of perfection doesn't exist no matter what I try to tell myself).
I know that I keep writing about attempting to find this balance and I haven't yet felt as if I've been able to do it. This is something that I need to keep working on otherwise I'm going to end up sending myself over the deep end. If nothing else, I need to find a way to find some dry tinder and start my fire again.
On that note, my dear readers, I am going to bring this to a close for this evening, gather myself, and get ready for the week ahead. I have work, time at the dance studio, choir practice, and hopefully be able to find some "me time" thrown in there as well... I hope you're able to find some time for yourselves this week. Thanks for joining me again along my quest! =)
My week was filled with trying to project next year's budget (bleck...), meetings, trainings, trying to track down new computers for the building (they were delivered, the tech department was supposed to pick them up to format them, no one knew who had them, back & forth, they were finally located, formatted, picked up and on the desks - one out of five doesn't want to work though...) and I ended up working Monday - Saturday. Yesterday I worked a carnival-type event for a similar program that I work for (we partnered with them for this event and they partner with us for one of our events in the fall); the unfortunate thing about the event is we were in a parking lot and my sunscreen wore off so I ended up with a bit of a sunburn...
I'm hoping that this upcoming week is a little calmer because even though a lot happened this past week, I don't necessarily feel as if I was able to get much accomplished. The work is piled up on my desk so I'm hoping to be able to get myself organized tomorrow so I can start working my way through the massive "to do" list. Although I have this massive to do list, I also know that I need to find ways to balance my days to keep me from getting overwhelmed and burned out - because I'm honestly feeling borderline burned out.
It probably doesn't help that I received news that one of my dance mentors is moving to the east coast at the end of the summer (she received a wonderful job opportunity and she's taking it). She's selling her house and while I would love to live there, I plain can't afford it. Because I was looking at her house (and there is no way I can afford any house in this area), I started looking at other houses... In looking at houses, I absolutely fell in love with a home where my family lives. It's hard to know that it's there and without a job there, it's just a pipe dream (and it's heartbreaking because I have fallen in love with this house just from pictures)...
One of the things I did just realize is since August 2009, I have written 300 posts here on Gypsy's Quest. What started out as a project for me to document starting my new life as a newly wounded divorcee has hit quite a milestone. When I'm feeling low, I just need to keep reminding myself just how far I've come since I started out on this quest and that quests by very nature of their name are going to be complicated/complex. What I need to remember is to not kick myself when things aren't going "exactly perfectly right" (since that level of perfection doesn't exist no matter what I try to tell myself).
I know that I keep writing about attempting to find this balance and I haven't yet felt as if I've been able to do it. This is something that I need to keep working on otherwise I'm going to end up sending myself over the deep end. If nothing else, I need to find a way to find some dry tinder and start my fire again.
On that note, my dear readers, I am going to bring this to a close for this evening, gather myself, and get ready for the week ahead. I have work, time at the dance studio, choir practice, and hopefully be able to find some "me time" thrown in there as well... I hope you're able to find some time for yourselves this week. Thanks for joining me again along my quest! =)
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Girl on Fire
Work was a little bit better this week; there were still some unexpected twists and turns but I'm beginning to think that is just an inevitability. I did have several meetings and some drama with the sports program (my sports coordinator had a couple of days off so I attempted to help cover.... for those of you who don't know me, I'm the last person you'd want involved with a sports program; I know zilch about sports) but it wasn't one of those overly stressful weeks. One of the nice things was being able to leave for two hours in the middle of one day but it wasn't nice to have to go to the dentist during those two hours for dental work.
Even though I had to leave the building for dental work, it reiterated that I need to start making it a priority to leave the building at least every so often during the work day. I know I've said it before and I always seem to find a reason to stay in the building but I need to start finding the occasional reason to leave - even if it's just to run an errand or something. I have tried heading home but find that I run in, run out and then am ready to walk out the door again - I don't necessarily want to sit down when I get home because my fear is I won't then want to head back to work. We'll see how well that works out for me...
Today we had a big dance performance for an outdoor street festival. It was a fun performance but it took a lot out of me. We had a 45 minute show (that I danced for all but 2.5 minutes of because it was someone else's dance solo and out of the time that I danced, 6 minutes was my sword solo) in the heat/sun and the parking lot we danced in had a slope to it so it made the performance even more exhausting. During my sword solo the energy of the crowd was AMAZING! I wore a costume that my Mom made for me out of flame fabric and people commented that I was a dance version of "girl on fire." I definitely need to remember the feeling of today's performance in order to prepare for upcoming performances. I have been doubting myself some lately in terms of dance so it was good to have a performance like the one today. Was it perfect? No. But I am glad it went so well.
I need to find a way to take how I felt as "girl on fire" during my performance today into work. Because I've been so insanely busy, I feel as if I have lost my "spark" in regards to the day to day at work. Actually, I think I have lost my "spark" not only at work but just in my everyday happenings. I need to find a way to get that fire started again. I know that you can start a fire with just a small ember so I guess that's where I need to start. I'm not sure how I'm going to do that but it's given me something to think about...
Well my dear readers, this Gypsy is exhausted after her day of being on fire so I think I'm going to bring this to a close and head to bed. I hope that you have opportunities this week to experience that spark of fire that I did today. =)
Even though I had to leave the building for dental work, it reiterated that I need to start making it a priority to leave the building at least every so often during the work day. I know I've said it before and I always seem to find a reason to stay in the building but I need to start finding the occasional reason to leave - even if it's just to run an errand or something. I have tried heading home but find that I run in, run out and then am ready to walk out the door again - I don't necessarily want to sit down when I get home because my fear is I won't then want to head back to work. We'll see how well that works out for me...
Today we had a big dance performance for an outdoor street festival. It was a fun performance but it took a lot out of me. We had a 45 minute show (that I danced for all but 2.5 minutes of because it was someone else's dance solo and out of the time that I danced, 6 minutes was my sword solo) in the heat/sun and the parking lot we danced in had a slope to it so it made the performance even more exhausting. During my sword solo the energy of the crowd was AMAZING! I wore a costume that my Mom made for me out of flame fabric and people commented that I was a dance version of "girl on fire." I definitely need to remember the feeling of today's performance in order to prepare for upcoming performances. I have been doubting myself some lately in terms of dance so it was good to have a performance like the one today. Was it perfect? No. But I am glad it went so well.
I need to find a way to take how I felt as "girl on fire" during my performance today into work. Because I've been so insanely busy, I feel as if I have lost my "spark" in regards to the day to day at work. Actually, I think I have lost my "spark" not only at work but just in my everyday happenings. I need to find a way to get that fire started again. I know that you can start a fire with just a small ember so I guess that's where I need to start. I'm not sure how I'm going to do that but it's given me something to think about...
Well my dear readers, this Gypsy is exhausted after her day of being on fire so I think I'm going to bring this to a close and head to bed. I hope that you have opportunities this week to experience that spark of fire that I did today. =)
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Epiphanies...
My "weird cough thing" is still hanging on so for that fact alone I am grateful to go back to more "normal" work hours starting tomorrow (I've been working from about 6:30 am until about 6:15ish pm for the last two weeks and then Friday I worked 6:30 am - 10:15 pm); that means I'll be working from about 8 am until 6:15ish pm daily. While it's still a long day it's at least not as long so I think that will be helpful. I'm willing to change at least one thing since I'm still feeling as if something's gotta give...
This past week, I had several meetings/trainings, went to the dance studio two days, choir practice, a dentist appointment (and I get to go back this next week for work on one tooth) and then worked lots of hours. Because of all of this, I took yesterday off. I didn't go to the dance studio, I didn't do work, I didn't do anything I didn't want to do. I slept in late, took a hot shower, got dressed, went to the aquarium (something I've been wanting to do forever but just haven't taken the opportunity - I haven't been since I renewed my membership in November), took myself to the movies and then came home to take a nap. It was FANTASTIC! I know that I have been burning the candle at both ends to the point of complete melted candle so it was nice to do something relaxing. I definitely need to make time in my schedule to do have days like that again.
I watched a movie last night and one of the quotes has stuck with me. The main character said something along these lines - an epiphany is when you realize something you really needed to realize... like sometimes in life you think you're kind of stuck and you should've changed chapters by now but you can't... This is an epiphany I needed to have; it has helped me to realize that even though I have thought I should've changed chapters by now, maybe I'm not ready to change chapters yet. I'm not 100% sure why I'm not ready but for whatever reason I'm not. I guess I just need to keep looking for those hidden opportunities and take chances.
It's not that I'm opposed to taking chances but I haven't taken near as many lately because it hasn't been working out too well for me. I've had to remind myself that sometimes quests are not easy and that struggles are very real during a quest. I know that I have been looking at struggling as a negative but maybe I need to just look at this as a portion of my quest, embrace it and continue forward.
I'm not sure why I just checked my work email but I did... I have an email from by boss tasking me with yet another huge undertaking and I am closing said email until tomorrow. I know that I need to learn how to do a better job with leaving work at work and knowing that the responsibilities will still be there when I go back into the building. Something to work on I guess...
Well my dear readers, I think I need to bring this to a close for this evening and get ready for the work week ahead. I know I have several more meetings on the books and on the plus side I'll be leaving midday on Wednesday but it's for a dentist appointment so we'll see how that goes... It is my sincere hope that we all have the epiphanies that we need to have this week - whether that's at work, at play or in our personal lives. Thanks for joining me again this week! =)
This past week, I had several meetings/trainings, went to the dance studio two days, choir practice, a dentist appointment (and I get to go back this next week for work on one tooth) and then worked lots of hours. Because of all of this, I took yesterday off. I didn't go to the dance studio, I didn't do work, I didn't do anything I didn't want to do. I slept in late, took a hot shower, got dressed, went to the aquarium (something I've been wanting to do forever but just haven't taken the opportunity - I haven't been since I renewed my membership in November), took myself to the movies and then came home to take a nap. It was FANTASTIC! I know that I have been burning the candle at both ends to the point of complete melted candle so it was nice to do something relaxing. I definitely need to make time in my schedule to do have days like that again.
I watched a movie last night and one of the quotes has stuck with me. The main character said something along these lines - an epiphany is when you realize something you really needed to realize... like sometimes in life you think you're kind of stuck and you should've changed chapters by now but you can't... This is an epiphany I needed to have; it has helped me to realize that even though I have thought I should've changed chapters by now, maybe I'm not ready to change chapters yet. I'm not 100% sure why I'm not ready but for whatever reason I'm not. I guess I just need to keep looking for those hidden opportunities and take chances.
It's not that I'm opposed to taking chances but I haven't taken near as many lately because it hasn't been working out too well for me. I've had to remind myself that sometimes quests are not easy and that struggles are very real during a quest. I know that I have been looking at struggling as a negative but maybe I need to just look at this as a portion of my quest, embrace it and continue forward.
I'm not sure why I just checked my work email but I did... I have an email from by boss tasking me with yet another huge undertaking and I am closing said email until tomorrow. I know that I need to learn how to do a better job with leaving work at work and knowing that the responsibilities will still be there when I go back into the building. Something to work on I guess...
Well my dear readers, I think I need to bring this to a close for this evening and get ready for the work week ahead. I know I have several more meetings on the books and on the plus side I'll be leaving midday on Wednesday but it's for a dentist appointment so we'll see how that goes... It is my sincere hope that we all have the epiphanies that we need to have this week - whether that's at work, at play or in our personal lives. Thanks for joining me again this week! =)
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