"Gypsy, I need you to....." "Gypsy! I need...." Gypsy, I really need you to...." Ugh!! I feel like this was all I heard this past week. Every time I turned around someone needed me to drop what I was doing and take care of what they needed. It didn't seem to matter what I was working on or what deadlines I was trying to work within but they needed me to do something. If you have been one of my dear readers for any amount of time, you can only imagine how well that went over with me...
I finally had to ask everyone/everything to just stop so I could attempt to prioritize some things and then get back to getting things accomplished. While I was working on accomplishing tasks, in the back of my mind I was asking myself what I needed. I have come to the conclusion that what I need is me. I need to stop solely focusing on the needs of others but to take my wants/needs into consideration as well. Yes, this is something I've written about before and I'm making it an issue again. Why now? Frankly, I'm tired... I'm tired of what everyone else needs to trump what I need. Because of that, I actually took this past Friday off of work.
I know that I was "supposed" to (since I traveled to my conference on Columbus Day I was entitled to take a day off of work to make up for that day) but while I was at work last week, I kept going back and forth on if I was actually going to end up taking the day off or not. As we were locking up on Thursday, I made my decision to take the day off. I definitely needed the day off. I spent my day doing things for me. I slept in, was lazy, took myself to the movies (enjoyed watching Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day -- I really enjoyed it!) and then I took myself to the beach. I needed that. I have always enjoyed just walking along the beach, finding someplace to sit, watching/listening to the waves and just soaking it all in. I really need to do it more often but it comes down to making the time to do so.
As I've written about lately, I know that I need to become a little bit more selfish in terms of saying "no" or taking time off if/when I feel the need. I let the other people in my building take time off but I don't really do it for myself. Granted, coming up before too much longer, I am taking a good chunk of time off of work but that's still about seven-ish weeks away. There are times at work that I think just shutting my office door might be helpful in order to just get things accomplished and some "me" time while I do so. Tomorrow might be a good day to at least attempt the thought of closing the office door since my office-mate (person I share my office with) is off tomorrow. We'll see if that works out for me or not...
I have been working on doing a better job of doing things for me but I know that I need to do more. I started to collect some new "me" accessories for work/play and have looked into some other possibilities to show "me." I know that I have a unique personality and I do enjoy showing me now that I've allowed myself to start. Depending on the situation, I still have my moments where I hide myself away but I need to stop doing that. I have found that when I limit myself or hide myself away, I tend to feel more stress and have to bite my tongue more (to keep myself from saying things that I really shouldn't). I know that I'm a work in progress and I just have to work a little bit harder I guess.
On that note, I am going to bring this to a close for the evening and prepare for the week ahead. I hope that each and everyone of you embraces the opportunities to show your true self and to allow your freak flags to fly -- remember, you have your own personal flag and you get to show it to the world! Wear a fun color, a cool accessory, your favorite pair of shoes; do the things that make you unique! Have a wonderful night and week ahead my dear readers! Thank you for joining me yet again! =)
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Travel
I survived my conference week and I had a good time despite the whirlwind that surrounded the circumstances of my travel... After my very long travel day, I arrived at the first day of the conference (I met up with someone in the hotel lobby and we were told that the shuttle bus to the conference site wasn't running that early but they could take us to the train; we took the train and ended up walking a number of blocks in the wrong direction before finding where we needed to go - as the shuttle drove up...). After the initial session and welcome ceremony, I met up with two ladies and we "adopted" each other for the week. It was nice meeting up with them since I didn't know anyone at the conference and I didn't really want to do everything alone. The three of us would meet up in between sessions, have lunch together, we wandered around after the end of the conference day, got dinner together and got to know one another better.
The sessions I attended gave me some new/exciting ideas to take back into the workplace. I know that it definitely wouldn't be smart to try and implement all of those ideas tomorrow but I can start planning some things out. I also feel as if the lessons I learned will not only help me in the workplace but they will also help me personally. One of the sessions that I attended, the presenter talked about how different things can influence our lives but only if we let them - worry, lack of sleep/exercise, comparing ourselves to others, drawing inaccurate conclusions, our thought processes, and not acknowledging our own accomplishments. These are all concepts I have heard before but I think it might have sunk in this time; time will tell.
I'm definitely going to go into work tomorrow with a new outlook - I don't have to be the one to personally take care of things in order to make sure they're done and I also don't have to work a million hours each week. It won't do me any good to continue at the breakneck pace that I've been attempting to operate and I need to not only realize it but to do something about it. I already have it on my schedule to have a day off of work this upcoming week (since I traveled last week on the holiday I get to take a day off). Rather than trying to find a reason to work that day, I am going to take it off and enjoy myself - I don't know what I will do yet but it's going to be something for me.
I did accomplish what I set out to do at the conference in terms of what I wore and what accessories I put on each morning. I even put a different color in my hair each morning just because I could. ;) Actually, the first day, no one said anything about my hair but on the second morning, one of the "three amigas" said to me, "Hey, wasn't your hair blue yesterday?!" That second day it happened to be red. I always think it's funny when someone has that reaction since they tend to think it's permanent. I wore my fun earrings and while people asked about them, the general consensus was that they were cool. The bag I carried was even very "me" - it is shaped like a bowling ball bag, is purple and lime green with sparkles, and it's made out of retro car vinyl. I get lots of compliments on it and it just makes me smile every time I carry it. Now I just have to remember to continue these things as I go back to work tomorrow.
Since I have been gone for a week (technically four days since last Monday was a holiday and the building was closed), I'm not 100% sure what I have in store for me at work tomorrow. I have an inkling about a couple of things since I was checking my work email while I was gone (just in case) but I'm not sure if other things have come up other than what showed up in my email. I know that I need to learn how to "switch off" when I'm not there and trust that the work will either be done while I'm not there or it will be waiting for me when I get back into the building. This is a work in progress and I am hoping to utilize some of the things that I learned this past week to help me with that progress.
Well, my dear readers, I'm going to bring this to a close for the evening and get myself together to head back to work tomorrow. While I was at my conference I picked up numerous catalogs/pamphlets of new things to purchase, all of my notes from the sessions, receipts to submit for reimbursement, etc... I hope you have a great week and you have the opportunity to do something for yourself and let "you" shine! =)
The sessions I attended gave me some new/exciting ideas to take back into the workplace. I know that it definitely wouldn't be smart to try and implement all of those ideas tomorrow but I can start planning some things out. I also feel as if the lessons I learned will not only help me in the workplace but they will also help me personally. One of the sessions that I attended, the presenter talked about how different things can influence our lives but only if we let them - worry, lack of sleep/exercise, comparing ourselves to others, drawing inaccurate conclusions, our thought processes, and not acknowledging our own accomplishments. These are all concepts I have heard before but I think it might have sunk in this time; time will tell.
I'm definitely going to go into work tomorrow with a new outlook - I don't have to be the one to personally take care of things in order to make sure they're done and I also don't have to work a million hours each week. It won't do me any good to continue at the breakneck pace that I've been attempting to operate and I need to not only realize it but to do something about it. I already have it on my schedule to have a day off of work this upcoming week (since I traveled last week on the holiday I get to take a day off). Rather than trying to find a reason to work that day, I am going to take it off and enjoy myself - I don't know what I will do yet but it's going to be something for me.
I did accomplish what I set out to do at the conference in terms of what I wore and what accessories I put on each morning. I even put a different color in my hair each morning just because I could. ;) Actually, the first day, no one said anything about my hair but on the second morning, one of the "three amigas" said to me, "Hey, wasn't your hair blue yesterday?!" That second day it happened to be red. I always think it's funny when someone has that reaction since they tend to think it's permanent. I wore my fun earrings and while people asked about them, the general consensus was that they were cool. The bag I carried was even very "me" - it is shaped like a bowling ball bag, is purple and lime green with sparkles, and it's made out of retro car vinyl. I get lots of compliments on it and it just makes me smile every time I carry it. Now I just have to remember to continue these things as I go back to work tomorrow.
Since I have been gone for a week (technically four days since last Monday was a holiday and the building was closed), I'm not 100% sure what I have in store for me at work tomorrow. I have an inkling about a couple of things since I was checking my work email while I was gone (just in case) but I'm not sure if other things have come up other than what showed up in my email. I know that I need to learn how to "switch off" when I'm not there and trust that the work will either be done while I'm not there or it will be waiting for me when I get back into the building. This is a work in progress and I am hoping to utilize some of the things that I learned this past week to help me with that progress.
Well, my dear readers, I'm going to bring this to a close for the evening and get myself together to head back to work tomorrow. While I was at my conference I picked up numerous catalogs/pamphlets of new things to purchase, all of my notes from the sessions, receipts to submit for reimbursement, etc... I hope you have a great week and you have the opportunity to do something for yourself and let "you" shine! =)
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Wake up call
This past week at work, I did end up working a 60 hour week and I probably should have worked a bit more than that in order to get things accomplished. Throughout the week, I found out that my name came up as someone to send to a national conference this upcoming week. It took a couple of days to iron out all of the travel arrangements and get the conference fees paid but it all came together and I leave VERY early tomorrow morning. Because I am going to be gone, I had to do my best to get ahead with things going on at work. I got almost all of my "to-do" list done but I wasn't able to get it all accomplished. Oh, well... The work will still be there, waiting for me, when I get back in a week.
After my conference details had been confirmed, I had a couple of people at work ask me if I was going to change my "look" in order to attend. I was pretty proud that I said no. My suitcase is packed and found within are my "fun/funky" clothes and accessories. I decided that my boss and the boss of my boss know who I am, what I choose to wear and how I choose to accessorize. Why should I change that just because I'm going to a conference? What's in my suitcase are things that I would wear to work this upcoming week so why shouldn't I have these same clothes/accessories in my suitcase?
Something else that was a big wake up call has been the amount of hours I have put in so far this year. Being salary, I get paid for an 8-hour day regardless of how many more hours I put in than that. I have been tracking my hours since January and this past week one of my coworkers created an Excel spreadsheet for me as a way to track my hours individually. When the numbers since January until now were keyed in, the total of hours beyond an 8-hour day were.... how else to say it..... just plain depressing. There is no other way to say it - the total number of hours is depressing. I won't list the exact number on here but I will say that if I could actually take the time off of work to equate to the extra hours, I wouldn't have to go to work for a few months. Yes, I could actually take months off of work due to the extra time I have put in and I find that sad...
It is definitely nice to know that before too much longer I have a couple of week vacation away from everything and I will be able to spend time with my family. I trust the people who take over for me in my absence but I worry about the "cat's away, the mice will play" mentality that often occurs in a workplace setting when the boss is gone (the boss being me). At some point I know that I just have to look at it as whatever that's going to happen is going to happen when I'm gone and everyone (myself included) will have to deal with whatever consequences when I get back. Yes, I'm a perfectionist but this perfectionist needs to learn when and how to let go...
Well, my dear readers, I know this is a pretty short post tonight however I have a plane to catch very early in the morning so I should probably attempt to get to bed at a decent time this evening. Hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep since it's going to be a long travel day tomorrow and then a long conference week. Hopefully while I'm there, I will learn a lot as well as openly embrace the opportunities to let my muchness shine! I hope you take/embrace the opportunities to do the same! =)
After my conference details had been confirmed, I had a couple of people at work ask me if I was going to change my "look" in order to attend. I was pretty proud that I said no. My suitcase is packed and found within are my "fun/funky" clothes and accessories. I decided that my boss and the boss of my boss know who I am, what I choose to wear and how I choose to accessorize. Why should I change that just because I'm going to a conference? What's in my suitcase are things that I would wear to work this upcoming week so why shouldn't I have these same clothes/accessories in my suitcase?
Something else that was a big wake up call has been the amount of hours I have put in so far this year. Being salary, I get paid for an 8-hour day regardless of how many more hours I put in than that. I have been tracking my hours since January and this past week one of my coworkers created an Excel spreadsheet for me as a way to track my hours individually. When the numbers since January until now were keyed in, the total of hours beyond an 8-hour day were.... how else to say it..... just plain depressing. There is no other way to say it - the total number of hours is depressing. I won't list the exact number on here but I will say that if I could actually take the time off of work to equate to the extra hours, I wouldn't have to go to work for a few months. Yes, I could actually take months off of work due to the extra time I have put in and I find that sad...
It is definitely nice to know that before too much longer I have a couple of week vacation away from everything and I will be able to spend time with my family. I trust the people who take over for me in my absence but I worry about the "cat's away, the mice will play" mentality that often occurs in a workplace setting when the boss is gone (the boss being me). At some point I know that I just have to look at it as whatever that's going to happen is going to happen when I'm gone and everyone (myself included) will have to deal with whatever consequences when I get back. Yes, I'm a perfectionist but this perfectionist needs to learn when and how to let go...
Well, my dear readers, I know this is a pretty short post tonight however I have a plane to catch very early in the morning so I should probably attempt to get to bed at a decent time this evening. Hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep since it's going to be a long travel day tomorrow and then a long conference week. Hopefully while I'm there, I will learn a lot as well as openly embrace the opportunities to let my muchness shine! I hope you take/embrace the opportunities to do the same! =)
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Yelling at myself
I'm finding that I'm doing it again - I am attempting to change/alter who I am depending on who's around me or the situation I am faced with. Why? That's an excellent question...
Tomorrow is my birthday and I have a wish for myself; it may seem a selfish wish and it may not come true since I'm writing it down for everyone to see but it's a risk I'm going to take. My wish for myself is a year of being completely unapologetically me. No explanations or justifications to people but granting myself the permission to be myself. It has felt as if lately that people want to "fix me" and I don't know that I necessarily want to be fixed. It's not that I'm against change but I would like the opportunity to be myself.
I had someone at work ask me this past week why I seem to deliberately want to stand out? I asked them what they meant by that and they responded that I am a contradiction. This lead to an interesting conversation about them saying they don't understand how I can say that I'm an introvert and yet dress on the "wild side." I like to have fun with the clothes/accessories I wear but that doesn't mean that I can't have the personality of an introvert too. When I asked if because I'm an introvert I'm only "supposed" to wear boring, earth tones they said they didn't have an answer to that and they walked away, ending the conversation.
The conversation did leave me thinking about the validity in what they asked. I don't feel as if me being introspective should keep me from wearing bright colors, bold patterns or fun accessories. I also don't feel as if dressing this way should automatically mean that I am an extrovert. I know what I should do is just not let the conversation get into my head and I should just keep dressing however I want and continue to be an introvert if I want and shouldn't let anyone change that for me. I need to be me.
I just looked back at the post I wrote this time last year and it was a wake up call - I wrote about the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. My birthday just happens to fall on Mad Hatter's Day (the number on his hat is 10/6) and he is one that definitely dances to the beat of his own drum. When I dance I move to the beat of my own drum but I need to learn how to have that spill over into my "regular" day-to-day life. The Mad Hatter introduced me to the concept of muchness and I see it's appropriateness. I shall definitely wear something tomorrow that embraces the Mad Hatter and my own muchness.
Well my dear readers, rather than continuing to question myself and beat myself up over things from this past week, I'm going to bring this to a close and look towards the possibilities of the week ahead. I'm potentially going to be working a 60 hour work week but I just need to remember to embrace my muchness in order to get through all of it. My plan is to let my freak flag fly - will you? =)
Tomorrow is my birthday and I have a wish for myself; it may seem a selfish wish and it may not come true since I'm writing it down for everyone to see but it's a risk I'm going to take. My wish for myself is a year of being completely unapologetically me. No explanations or justifications to people but granting myself the permission to be myself. It has felt as if lately that people want to "fix me" and I don't know that I necessarily want to be fixed. It's not that I'm against change but I would like the opportunity to be myself.
I had someone at work ask me this past week why I seem to deliberately want to stand out? I asked them what they meant by that and they responded that I am a contradiction. This lead to an interesting conversation about them saying they don't understand how I can say that I'm an introvert and yet dress on the "wild side." I like to have fun with the clothes/accessories I wear but that doesn't mean that I can't have the personality of an introvert too. When I asked if because I'm an introvert I'm only "supposed" to wear boring, earth tones they said they didn't have an answer to that and they walked away, ending the conversation.
The conversation did leave me thinking about the validity in what they asked. I don't feel as if me being introspective should keep me from wearing bright colors, bold patterns or fun accessories. I also don't feel as if dressing this way should automatically mean that I am an extrovert. I know what I should do is just not let the conversation get into my head and I should just keep dressing however I want and continue to be an introvert if I want and shouldn't let anyone change that for me. I need to be me.
I just looked back at the post I wrote this time last year and it was a wake up call - I wrote about the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. My birthday just happens to fall on Mad Hatter's Day (the number on his hat is 10/6) and he is one that definitely dances to the beat of his own drum. When I dance I move to the beat of my own drum but I need to learn how to have that spill over into my "regular" day-to-day life. The Mad Hatter introduced me to the concept of muchness and I see it's appropriateness. I shall definitely wear something tomorrow that embraces the Mad Hatter and my own muchness.
Well my dear readers, rather than continuing to question myself and beat myself up over things from this past week, I'm going to bring this to a close and look towards the possibilities of the week ahead. I'm potentially going to be working a 60 hour work week but I just need to remember to embrace my muchness in order to get through all of it. My plan is to let my freak flag fly - will you? =)
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