I finally did it. I took a day off of work. My boss actually told me that I should take the opportunity this past Friday to flex some extra time that I had worked and I did it. I didn't feel guilty about, I left the work that needed to be completed and I took the day off of work. I slept in late, hemmed and hawed over what I wanted to do with my day off and I ended up eating a super yummy crepe (fresh strawberries, cream cheese and homemade whipped cream) and took myself whale watching. If you're relatively new to Gypsy's Quest, you may or may not know that I absolutely love whale watching and don't get to go near as often as I'd like. Friday's weather was gorgeous and I opted to go. Boy, am I ever glad that I did!
On the way out, we saw hundreds of dolphins (three different types) and we ended up coming across 20+ humpback whales playing in the ocean. I'm not sure how I accomplished it but I even captured a short video of a whale flipping its tale. I didn't capture any good photos but I didn't want to be glued to my camera lens - especially since I often get just pictures of water by the time it's all said and done (I've managed a couple of good photos in all the times I've gone whale watching but not a lot). There was one photo/video I would've loved to get and it was of a whale right by the boat but at least I got to see it (most people missed it because they were too busy trying to take photos). I befriended a young man who had never been whale watching before but decided it was time for him to be on a boat since he had just joined the Navy and is due to head to boot camp in a couple of months (ironic, I know). I was proud of myself for talking with him and giving him insight to whale watching since that's not something I usually do (except for when I'm whale watching... maybe I need to join a boat crew...).
Being out on the water definitely has a way of rejuvenating me. I took a picture of myself while we were out to sea and everyone says that I look so at peace/relaxed in the photo. I realize that I need to do things for myself on a more regular basis to keep from feeling burned to a crisp. I was starting to feel as if things were falling apart around me because I had pushed myself beyond the limit. I need to do a better job at admitting I need a break and then actually doing something about it rather than getting to the point of being utterly overwhelmed. I know that I've said that before but I'm to the point that I know I actually need to do something about it when I feel like I'm getting to that point.
There are some upcoming things that I know might push me to the point of burn out so recognizing as I'm approaching that level is going to be important. I know that being able to realize when I'm getting close to burn out level is the first step and my next step will be attempting to avoid reaching that point whenever it's possible. I guess that will be one of the next milestones along my quest. I've let some of the day to day "me time" go by the wayside unfortunately and I need to find a way to get that back. At one point I was attempting to take a walk after work a few times a week and that has gone on the back burner. Maybe once my dog is finished with his medications I can move my walks to lunchtime out of the office walks. Time will tell...
My dog is still on medications for another week and I think he's getting to the point of being done with medication and wearing the "cone of shame." I have been sneaky enough to hide one of his medications in his scrambled eggs (he scarfs them down so I'm sure he doesn't even taste the medicine) but one of the meds he's still on are ear drops which there is no other way to give him except hold him down and squirt them in his ears. I feel bad each and every time I have to do it to him and thankfully it's only required once a day. I'm just hoping that when I take him back to the vet this week and they take the staples out that he doesn't have any other complications from his first surgery and we can be done with this whole experience... I will fill you in next week.
On that note, I should probably bring this to a close for tonight. I have to back to work tomorrow and see what all I missed from not being in the building on Friday. I also get to leave early on Tuesday in order for a dentist appointment (yay....) so hopefully all goes well with that too... I hope we can all take the opportunities to let our freak flags fly this week and that you can let your muchness show. =)
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Embracing the muchness
It has been a long, busy past week and weekend and I don't know that I'm necessarily ready to head back into work tomorrow... Yesterday there was an event at work and I had to work approximately 6 hours for "free." I can always attempt to flex the time out of this upcoming week but there is quite a bit going on this week so I don't know that it's going to happen... If nothing else, I do have to take a lunch everyday again this upcoming week because of the doggy...
I took my dog back to the vet to have the stitches removed yesterday and his wound didn't heal as fully as they would've liked so they ended up putting in a few medical staples. They also have him back on another round of antibiotics in case he's still fighting off some sort of weird infection (even though he was already on three different antibiotics...). He has to take this antibiotic twice a day - once at lunch time and once before bed so that means I have to come home in order to give it to him. I do feel bad because he still has to wear the "cone of shame" for another two weeks and then I'll take him back to the vet to have the staples removed. At that point, hopefully everything will have healed the way that they would like or they said we will have to look into different treatment options. Yippee.
I've had a song running through my head all week and I think someone is trying to tell me something from the lyrics... One of the lines from the chorus says, "I want to live not just survive..." This is a concept I have talked about before but I haven't fully embraced it yet for some reason. There are some aspects of my life that I feel I do pretty well at living but in other aspects, not so much - I fell as if in too many areas of my life I am only surviving and it weighs on me. I don't like feeling as if I restrict myself and I know that I'm the only one who can change that - I guess I don't know how to change it in certain areas...
It may be a little risky to really be me in certain areas of my life (one of those areas being work since I do work in a "professional" workplace) but some risk could be worth it, right? For whatever reason, I have once again stopped making the effort in making sure I am wearing something that is "muchness worthy" each and every single day and I need to remedy that. Each day as I'm getting ready for work, I need to make a conscious effort to add some muchness to my outfit. Making an effort in this one area will hopefully make me aware to bring muchness to other aspects of my life as well. I think by starting to do this again it will help me feel as if I'm not merely surviving.
Well, my dear readers, I know this isn't a very long post but I've given myself some things to think about and I should probably think about heading to bed before too much longer. Before I head to bed, I will also take the opportunity to plan my outfit for tomorrow and make sure that I have some sort of muchness added to what I'm wearing to work. I hope that each and every one of you embrace your muchness and let your freak flags fly! =)
I took my dog back to the vet to have the stitches removed yesterday and his wound didn't heal as fully as they would've liked so they ended up putting in a few medical staples. They also have him back on another round of antibiotics in case he's still fighting off some sort of weird infection (even though he was already on three different antibiotics...). He has to take this antibiotic twice a day - once at lunch time and once before bed so that means I have to come home in order to give it to him. I do feel bad because he still has to wear the "cone of shame" for another two weeks and then I'll take him back to the vet to have the staples removed. At that point, hopefully everything will have healed the way that they would like or they said we will have to look into different treatment options. Yippee.
I've had a song running through my head all week and I think someone is trying to tell me something from the lyrics... One of the lines from the chorus says, "I want to live not just survive..." This is a concept I have talked about before but I haven't fully embraced it yet for some reason. There are some aspects of my life that I feel I do pretty well at living but in other aspects, not so much - I fell as if in too many areas of my life I am only surviving and it weighs on me. I don't like feeling as if I restrict myself and I know that I'm the only one who can change that - I guess I don't know how to change it in certain areas...
It may be a little risky to really be me in certain areas of my life (one of those areas being work since I do work in a "professional" workplace) but some risk could be worth it, right? For whatever reason, I have once again stopped making the effort in making sure I am wearing something that is "muchness worthy" each and every single day and I need to remedy that. Each day as I'm getting ready for work, I need to make a conscious effort to add some muchness to my outfit. Making an effort in this one area will hopefully make me aware to bring muchness to other aspects of my life as well. I think by starting to do this again it will help me feel as if I'm not merely surviving.
Well, my dear readers, I know this isn't a very long post but I've given myself some things to think about and I should probably think about heading to bed before too much longer. Before I head to bed, I will also take the opportunity to plan my outfit for tomorrow and make sure that I have some sort of muchness added to what I'm wearing to work. I hope that each and every one of you embrace your muchness and let your freak flags fly! =)
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Sigh of relief
Doggy update: he had the drain removed this past week and the incision looks nice and clean (knock on wood that it stays that way until Saturday when he is scheduled to have them removed). I think while they were performing his surgery, they gave him a brain transplant or something because my 9-year old dog is acting like he's a puppy again. I know that he's probably feeling better (if he was as sick as the vet thinks for as long as they think) but he's had the same personality for the last 6+ years so it's odd to have him revert back to puppyhood. I just have to keep reminding myself how lucky/thankful I am to still have him... Him being on the mend is definitely a sigh of relief.
As we were at the vet's office having the drain removed, the vet was going over aftercare instructions with me when someone came in, carrying their pet in a towel and she was hysterical. The vet who was talking with me rushed the animal and the couple back to the next room (it was only separated from where I was with a waist high partition). In the towel was a cat who had been mauled by a dog. The vet tech came out and told the couple that the cat was very severely injured and probably wouldn't make it; the woman begged them to do everything they could to save the cat and to even perform feline CPR if necessary. The whole time I'm standing there, just wanting to leave, but no one had told me what I owed for this particular visit. My dog just wanted to help and he was trying to get down from me holding him - he just didn't understand that the couple probably didn't want to see any dog at that particular moment even if he was a smaller dog than had attacked their cat. Someone at that point finally came back to the desk so I could pay and get out of there. As I walked out, carrying my dog in my arms, I realized how the whole situation with him could've gone very differently and made me thankful to still have him (even if he is making me crazy being his puppy self again).
I learned something else this week... I learned that work didn't fall apart just because I took a lunch break in the middle of the day. Every day this past week, I had to take a lunch break to come home and give my dog his medication (I usually don't take a lunch break, make sure everyone else gets theirs and I just work through the day). When I got back to work after my hour break, the building was still standing, work looked like it was still getting done and I didn't walk into any major problems. I also found that by taking this break away from the building, my afternoons seemed to go by faster and I was more energetic/focused for the remainder of my work day. I have to take a break daily everyday this upcoming week (to give the doggy medication) and I'm hoping to make it a habit. I'm sure I will need a break daily this week not only to give my dog his medication but to take a mental break from preparations for a work event we're having from 9 - 3 on Saturday (yes, I have to work all day on Saturday after working all week and I won't get paid for it... gotta love being on salary).
I am still waiting to take a whole day off of work now that I have been shown once again that my team can handle it. I know that they do it when I've been gone on vacations and I do have faith in my team; I just don't want them to feel as if I'm not there for them. I don't have anything that I'd particularly want to do on my day off but just having a day for me would be nice. I know I've said it before but I think one of these days I need to take a calendar to my boss and ask when I can have a day off... We'll see.
I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize that the time I try and give my staff is just as important to take myself but I'm glad to finally be realizing it. I make sure all of my staff get a lunch break if they work over a certain number of hours as well as give them time off of work when they ask for it (and if I can't give it to them the day they ask, I try and find an alternate day if that works for them). It's important for their health and well being as well as their morale in the work place. I need the same thing. Like I said, I'm not sure why I had it in my head that the manage of the building didn't need to do those things but I am now learning the importance of it all - especially for the management team. We have a new operations clerk (secretary/administrative assistant of sorts) staring this week so that will be helpful - we haven't had anyone in that position for almost a year so we're all breathing a sigh of relief that the position is at last about to be filled.
Well my dear readers, it has come to that time that I should bring this to a close and maybe read a little bit before going to bed. With my doggy being injured, the vet recommend that I sleep nearby in case anything happened in the middle of the night but not have him on the bed because it would be a long drop to the floor for him. I have been sleeping on the couch with I thought would completely ruin the little bit of sleep that I manage to get each night and ironically I've slept better on the couch that I have for months in my bed. My back has been a little sore but at least I haven't been tossing and turning. Maybe it's time to think about a new mattress one of these days... That's another conversation for another day though.
I hope each and every one of you have an absolutely fabulous week and you seize each opportunity to let your freak flags fly! =)
As we were at the vet's office having the drain removed, the vet was going over aftercare instructions with me when someone came in, carrying their pet in a towel and she was hysterical. The vet who was talking with me rushed the animal and the couple back to the next room (it was only separated from where I was with a waist high partition). In the towel was a cat who had been mauled by a dog. The vet tech came out and told the couple that the cat was very severely injured and probably wouldn't make it; the woman begged them to do everything they could to save the cat and to even perform feline CPR if necessary. The whole time I'm standing there, just wanting to leave, but no one had told me what I owed for this particular visit. My dog just wanted to help and he was trying to get down from me holding him - he just didn't understand that the couple probably didn't want to see any dog at that particular moment even if he was a smaller dog than had attacked their cat. Someone at that point finally came back to the desk so I could pay and get out of there. As I walked out, carrying my dog in my arms, I realized how the whole situation with him could've gone very differently and made me thankful to still have him (even if he is making me crazy being his puppy self again).
I learned something else this week... I learned that work didn't fall apart just because I took a lunch break in the middle of the day. Every day this past week, I had to take a lunch break to come home and give my dog his medication (I usually don't take a lunch break, make sure everyone else gets theirs and I just work through the day). When I got back to work after my hour break, the building was still standing, work looked like it was still getting done and I didn't walk into any major problems. I also found that by taking this break away from the building, my afternoons seemed to go by faster and I was more energetic/focused for the remainder of my work day. I have to take a break daily everyday this upcoming week (to give the doggy medication) and I'm hoping to make it a habit. I'm sure I will need a break daily this week not only to give my dog his medication but to take a mental break from preparations for a work event we're having from 9 - 3 on Saturday (yes, I have to work all day on Saturday after working all week and I won't get paid for it... gotta love being on salary).
I am still waiting to take a whole day off of work now that I have been shown once again that my team can handle it. I know that they do it when I've been gone on vacations and I do have faith in my team; I just don't want them to feel as if I'm not there for them. I don't have anything that I'd particularly want to do on my day off but just having a day for me would be nice. I know I've said it before but I think one of these days I need to take a calendar to my boss and ask when I can have a day off... We'll see.
I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize that the time I try and give my staff is just as important to take myself but I'm glad to finally be realizing it. I make sure all of my staff get a lunch break if they work over a certain number of hours as well as give them time off of work when they ask for it (and if I can't give it to them the day they ask, I try and find an alternate day if that works for them). It's important for their health and well being as well as their morale in the work place. I need the same thing. Like I said, I'm not sure why I had it in my head that the manage of the building didn't need to do those things but I am now learning the importance of it all - especially for the management team. We have a new operations clerk (secretary/administrative assistant of sorts) staring this week so that will be helpful - we haven't had anyone in that position for almost a year so we're all breathing a sigh of relief that the position is at last about to be filled.
Well my dear readers, it has come to that time that I should bring this to a close and maybe read a little bit before going to bed. With my doggy being injured, the vet recommend that I sleep nearby in case anything happened in the middle of the night but not have him on the bed because it would be a long drop to the floor for him. I have been sleeping on the couch with I thought would completely ruin the little bit of sleep that I manage to get each night and ironically I've slept better on the couch that I have for months in my bed. My back has been a little sore but at least I haven't been tossing and turning. Maybe it's time to think about a new mattress one of these days... That's another conversation for another day though.
I hope each and every one of you have an absolutely fabulous week and you seize each opportunity to let your freak flags fly! =)
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Complete and utter panic...
I started my day yesterday with a moment of complete and utter panic... After I did my usual get up, take a shower, and get dressed, I let the dogs out of their crate to let them outside to do their business. I noticed a red spot on the back of one of their heads so I wanted to take a closer look. I was going to give him a quick bath before heading to the dance studio and as I removed his color that's when I had my moment of panic - the red "spot" that I had noticed was actually a deep hole in the back of his head! I scooped him up and immediately looked online for an emergency vet. I found one not far from where I live, put my other dog in the crate and placed my poor baby in the car. I had a feeling it would be an adventure because he tends to get car sick but he just laid down on the front seat (which was an indication to me that he didn't feel well).
When I finally found the location of the emergency vet (which added insult to injury was located near the office of the lawyer I used for my divorce), they had me fill out paperwork. Because I was worked up, my hand was shaking as I attempted to fill out all of the required documentation while I still was holding my dog in my arms. Once I got everything filled out that they required, they took us back to the exam room. The attendant asked me what happened and I had to answer honestly that I didn't know. After doing the preliminary exam, she went and got the vet. The vet came in, gave his wound one look and immediately asked me how long he had been sick. I said that I didn't know what she was talking about because he hasn't been acting sick. Some of the symptoms she was listing, I told her was just his personality - I'm not sure if she believed me or not...
What the diagnosis ended up being was massive ear infection, tooth decay/mouth infection and the hole was caused by a ruptured abscess. What a mess... They ended up putting him under general anesthesia (so I had to fill out forms stating I understood there was a possibility he might not wake up), cleaned/sutured the hole, pulled teeth and sent him home on five different medications (three different antibiotics, pain meds and an anti-inflammatory - phew...). I have to take him back in the middle of the week to remove the drain and check on him and then again in two weeks to remove the sutures. One of the plus sides I guess, is I'll have to take a lunch everyday for the next two weeks in order to come home and give him medication.
The whole situation has left me feeling pretty guilty for the dog who needed surgery and my other dog who was left behind. After this weekend, I really wish that I had a doggy thought translator so I would know what each of them wanted/needed and I wouldn't have to guess. Maybe if I would have had one of those, I would've known he wasn't feeling well and this situation could have been avoided. Granted, knowing about it earlier may or may not have changed the outcome but I still feel bad that they've both had to go through what they have this weekend...
My head knows that feeling guilty about the whole situation won't change anything however I still feel that way and it's left me asking a lot of "what ifs." What if I didn't spend so many hours at work? What if I would have been home more often? What if I wouldn't have been home this weekend (I had been invited to go to an out of state belly dance retreat that lasted from Thursday through tomorrow)? What if I wouldn't have noticed the wound when I did? I even went to the dreaded place of what if I wouldn't have fought so hard to keep both dogs when I got divorced - would this have still happened (completely illogical of me but I still went there...)? Too many questions, not enough answers... I suppose I have to look at is that it did happen, I got him medical attention as quickly as I could and I've been taking care of him the best I can since; but those thoughts aren't easy to come by - especially in the middle of the night...
Well, my dear readers, I hope I didn't bring you down too much this week by the things that I had to say but I think it is time for me to bring things to a close and head to bed. Because of everything that happened yesterday, it's no surprise that I didn't get very good sleep last night and I'm hoping for better sleep tonight. I think it's time for the doggy patient to get more medication anyway... I hope you have a fabulous week my dear readers and that you don't have any surprises such as this one...
When I finally found the location of the emergency vet (which added insult to injury was located near the office of the lawyer I used for my divorce), they had me fill out paperwork. Because I was worked up, my hand was shaking as I attempted to fill out all of the required documentation while I still was holding my dog in my arms. Once I got everything filled out that they required, they took us back to the exam room. The attendant asked me what happened and I had to answer honestly that I didn't know. After doing the preliminary exam, she went and got the vet. The vet came in, gave his wound one look and immediately asked me how long he had been sick. I said that I didn't know what she was talking about because he hasn't been acting sick. Some of the symptoms she was listing, I told her was just his personality - I'm not sure if she believed me or not...
What the diagnosis ended up being was massive ear infection, tooth decay/mouth infection and the hole was caused by a ruptured abscess. What a mess... They ended up putting him under general anesthesia (so I had to fill out forms stating I understood there was a possibility he might not wake up), cleaned/sutured the hole, pulled teeth and sent him home on five different medications (three different antibiotics, pain meds and an anti-inflammatory - phew...). I have to take him back in the middle of the week to remove the drain and check on him and then again in two weeks to remove the sutures. One of the plus sides I guess, is I'll have to take a lunch everyday for the next two weeks in order to come home and give him medication.
The whole situation has left me feeling pretty guilty for the dog who needed surgery and my other dog who was left behind. After this weekend, I really wish that I had a doggy thought translator so I would know what each of them wanted/needed and I wouldn't have to guess. Maybe if I would have had one of those, I would've known he wasn't feeling well and this situation could have been avoided. Granted, knowing about it earlier may or may not have changed the outcome but I still feel bad that they've both had to go through what they have this weekend...
My head knows that feeling guilty about the whole situation won't change anything however I still feel that way and it's left me asking a lot of "what ifs." What if I didn't spend so many hours at work? What if I would have been home more often? What if I wouldn't have been home this weekend (I had been invited to go to an out of state belly dance retreat that lasted from Thursday through tomorrow)? What if I wouldn't have noticed the wound when I did? I even went to the dreaded place of what if I wouldn't have fought so hard to keep both dogs when I got divorced - would this have still happened (completely illogical of me but I still went there...)? Too many questions, not enough answers... I suppose I have to look at is that it did happen, I got him medical attention as quickly as I could and I've been taking care of him the best I can since; but those thoughts aren't easy to come by - especially in the middle of the night...
Well, my dear readers, I hope I didn't bring you down too much this week by the things that I had to say but I think it is time for me to bring things to a close and head to bed. Because of everything that happened yesterday, it's no surprise that I didn't get very good sleep last night and I'm hoping for better sleep tonight. I think it's time for the doggy patient to get more medication anyway... I hope you have a fabulous week my dear readers and that you don't have any surprises such as this one...
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