Comfort zone

I thankfully had an uneventful trip to and from my training (so I have probably just jinxed myself for the next time I travel...) and have just been trying to play "catch up" this weekend.  I left VERY early Monday morning for my training, got my rental car no problem (which was something I was worried about since I had never rented a car before and they even had to upgrade me for free since they didn't have any compact cars), found the hotel, unpacked and then headed straight to the pool.  Actually before I went to the pool I attempted to find out where my training was since I didn't have an address for where I was supposed to go and no one at the hotel had any idea (I sent an email to the contact I had and they didn't answer -- I actually did a search through all of my work emails and found where I was headed).

I enjoyed the pool for just over an hour (and had it all to myself) before heading back to my room.  I got some dinner and had a relaxing evening in my room.  The next morning at breakfast, I noticed a couple of people wearing name tags that we used to where at work and I approached to introduce myself (which is something I don't really do so I was impressed with myself).  One of them is someone who has done our yearly inspections in the past and she gave me some "pointers" for the next time they potentially come out.  I was a little shaken by this but wrote down the information she gave me and then I headed to my training.

The training was good (when I actually found the location -- the address we were all given was to the nearby post office) but I felt like my brain filled up pretty quickly over the three days.  They presented the information over about a day and a half and the rest of the time was spent with us practicing the skills we were learning.  We were assigned a group to work with and we had to do a practice situation simulation in front of one of the instructors.  My group opted to get it "done and over with" and signed up to go first.  Am I ever glad we did!  They had originally told us that particular day we would be there until 7 or 7:30.  They let my group go about 6:30ish because we were done and other people didn't end up getting out of there until after 9 pm.

I picked up some dinner, ate and then headed to the pool.  I spent time in the hotel pool everyday I was there (except for the day I left since I didn't want to put a soaking wet bathing suit in my suitcase) and I didn't have to share it with anyone.  Everyday I was in the pool for about an hour (or more) and I enjoyed the alone time in the water.  The hotel had a lovely pool so it really surprised me that I had it to myself.  I know that other people used the pool since the window to my room overlooked the pool room but I lucked out by not having to share the time in the pool.

On Thursday we were done with the training just about noon and we were given the rest of the afternoon to do whatever we wanted (and Friday was our travel day).  After saying our good-byes, I ran back to the hotel to get changed and then I went on an adventure.  We had been given information about some local attractions and one in particular stood out to me -- I went to the zoo!  I had the best time and took some really good pictures of my adventure.  The day couldn't have been any more perfect - it was 83 degrees and sunny.  While I was at the zoo, I had the opportunity to see some really neat animals and I even took the time to feed some hungry stingrays (they ate small frozen fish that had been cut in half -- ick!!).

I was really glad that I pushed myself outside of my usual comfort zone and did the things I did during this week of training.  While we had the opportunity to have lunch together, I didn't just sit there, I actively participated in conversations and even shared things about myself (the people that I talked with thought it was very cool that I'm a belly dancer!).  I think overall it was a really good experience for my first work travel and I hope that any/all other ones go just as well.

After I got back, I played with the dogs and then I crashed.  Yesterday, I took the dirty laundry out of my suitcase and did the laundry while I went to the dance studio.  You might wonder why I went to the dance studio right after getting back from a week long training rather than sleeping...  We had a performance today so I went to one last rehearsal (since I missed the other two this week).  After being at the studio, I had to go grocery shopping because I emptied out the fridge before leaving.  I had the group performance this morning and then I came back here and got a few more things accomplished (like putting more things away from my trip and organizing what I need to take to work tomorrow).

Well, since I still have a couple of things that I should take care of before going to bed, I should bring this to a close for this evening.  I hope you have a fabulous week, my dear readers, and I will see you on the flip side!

out of time...

I sat down for the first time this afternoon and ended up doing the one thing I really didn't want to do -- I fell asleep.  Now don't get me wrong, I am one who usually loves afternoon naps but not today...  Let me explain why.  Tomorrow I leave for my week-long training opportunity and I have a VERY early flight which means I have to get up even earlier to get ready and get myself to the airport.  Since I'm not one who always gets good sleep, I figured taking a nap today would not be a good way to get to bed at a decent time tonight.  Hopefully my (approximately) 30-minute cat nap won't cause too many problems getting to sleep tonight but only time will tell, I guess.

I had been working trying to get last minute things done before my travel day tomorrow and I have finally had to say I've done what I can do and be okay with that.  I'm trying hard not to feel as if I've just given up but I have had to realize that I can only get just so much accomplished at any given time.  The dogs have been extra crazy today since I think they can tell something is happening but they just don't what that is yet.  I've been trying to keep my suitcase is hidden from them but I don't know...

It was a very busy week at work and I was trying to get as much done as I could since I'm going to be out this upcoming week.  I was out for two days this past week because I was facilitating another training so I had to cram 5 days worth of work into 3 (as well as prepare for being out).  I made it all work and I'm hoping that I got it all accomplished and if I didn't, there's not much I can do about it at this point.  Luckily, in this day and age, if they absolutely need me for something, I'm just a phone call/text/email away and I can get back to them when I can (since I'll be in training).  I'm hoping to have at least a little bit of fun this upcoming week as well but we'll see how that all pans out.

Something that I have decided to do a better job with is being selfish.  Not selfish in the "bad" sense but do a better job of taking care of me.  I unfortunately did not do such a good job at taking care of me this past week (or for quite some time for that matter).  I didn't make it out of the office to go walking at all this past week and I only left for lunch one day because I was the one to go pick up food for everyone in the office.  I need to change this somehow.  I make sure that everyone else in the building gets a lunch break and I encourage them to leave the building during that break just to get away.  I don't do the same thing for me.  My days are too long/busy/stressful at times to keep up this break-neck pace.

Speaking of a break-neck pace, I should probably bring this to a close a little early tonight to make sure I have everything together in order to leave tomorrow morning.  I'm hoping that I can maybe come up with some sort of plan of action while I'm on my training this upcoming week (the pool will hopefully provide a place of clarity for me) but we'll see how things go.  I hope you all have a wonderful week and find time to do something just for you.  I'll see you back here next week and I really hope that I won't be stuck in an airport somewhere...  =)

Flag waving

I seized an opportunity last night that I haven't in some time...  I seized the opportunity to let my freak flag fly and it felt awesome!  Several weeks ago a fellow dancer asked if I would dance for a fundraiser she was putting together for the local YWCA.  I agreed and began diligently practicing with my new sword because I wanted to debut it at this show.  I kept going back and forth on what costume I wanted to wear and I opted to wear one that parts are made out of fabric covered in flames. I decided that I needed to add some "sizzle" to my performance.  (We ended up raising just over $800 for this very worthy organization to put towards helping women.)

Spectators told me that I did a good job during my dance and that was good for me to hear.  The sword slipped once but I did this neat little shoulder catch thing (which was VERY unexpected but cool that it worked out) and my friend, who was in the audience, thought it was intentional.  I felt my performance as a whole was pretty good but because I'm a perfectionist I feel like I could've done a better job.  I have another performance this upcoming weekend and we'll see how that one goes...

While I would love to devote a lot of time to dancing this coming week, I have quite a bit on my plate work-wise.  I found out at the end of this past week that I will be headed to a week long training out of state and I leave next Monday.  I'm a little stressed out about it and I am trying to look more towards what I'm going to learn and not focus on the uncertainty of things.  As I've written about before, I don't always do really well with uncertainty but I'm working on it.  I've travelled by myself lots of times now but I've never done it on someone else's dime (because I'm traveling for work, everything is covered monetarily by them).  On the plus side, the hotel I'm staying in has a pool so I guess one way to look at it is for at least a little bit of the time, work will be paying me to play in the pool.  =)

I think my dogs are starting to sense that something is going on (even though they haven't seen my suitcase come out yet) because they have been extra clingy today.  Worrying about the two of them has been stressing me out in regards to this upcoming travel for work.  The person who usually watches them for me will be on vacation for part of the time so I had to find someone else to watch them for about a day and a half.  Luckily I was able to find someone willing to help bail me out and will watch my doggies for me while I'm traveling for work.  That helps definitely to take some stress off of my mind knowing that I have someone that will watch them so I can do what I need to do.

After a few things that happened at work this past week, it left me wanting to wave a flag other than my freak flag...  I wanted to wave the white flag of surrender.  I had to shake myself out of it, convince myself that wasn't the answer and keep plugging along.  I'm learning more and more that I need to start taking a break in the middle of the day to keep from burning out.  I was doing a pretty good job of going for at least a walk every day if I didn't take a full lunch break.  I have fallen back into old/bad habits and I don't even go for a walk everyday.  I make sure that each and every one of my staff get out of the building for their breaks but I don't do it for myself.  I need to start making sure I take care of myself, too.

I haven't fully determined how I'm going to do that yet but I promise you my dear readers that I'm going to give it some serious thought.  I hopefully will have a plan in place before leaving in my business trip in just over a week (that's so weird to be saying/thinking that I'm going on a business trip...).  Thank you once again for joining me on my quest, my dear readers and I hope you find someway this week to fly your freak flag!  =)

Words, words, words

This past week, I heard something that stuck with me (I don't remember where I overheard it but it definitely stayed with me) - "there is an art to finding yourself."  Maybe that's part of my problem, I was never very good at art class...  Sure,  I can draw silly little cartoon animals/pictures that the kids have always enjoyed but that's about it.  Maybe I need to shake the dust off my paints/brushes and get to creating who it is I want to be.

It was a rough week this past week at work.  Since things had been a little stressful (the kids were on Spring Break so they were a little nuts and of course it rained on and off all week so that didn't help), I decided to put together goodie bags for my staff.  In each bag I placed a baggie of chocolates, a small container of play dough, a bounce ball and a box of crayons (my Mom has taught me that you're never too old to enjoy a new box of crayons).  They were so excited about their goodies that it made me smile.  The only mistake I made with the goodie bags is I gave them out on April Fools Day and I think a few of the staff were waiting for me to prank them.  I told them that it was just to help them remember to have fun.

While presenting the staff was a fun aspect of my week, another not so fun aspect of my week was I was verbally attacked by a parent over the phone.  I was impressed with myself that while he was ranting and raving I didn't retaliate (which I really wanted to do) but I basically just sat there and took it.  That was a difficult but important step along my quest, I think.  Sooner or later we all encounter someone who isn't pleased with us or something we've said/done and there are times something we say can make the situation worse.  Granted, I probably should have told this particular parent that if they were going to continue to speak to me in such a manner the conversation would need to come to a close but of course I didn't think about that until afterwards.

It made me think about the sing-song that I learned when I was little:  sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.  Why in the world do we teach kids that?!  Words can and do hurt.  Lots of times, words are more powerful/hurtful than actions.  I think we do a disservice to teach this concept (that words don't hurt us) to anyone.  Words are very powerful things and they can either help or hurt us as well as those around us.  Not everyone understands or believes that.  I know people who just tell me to shake off the things that people say but it's often easier said than done.

Yesterday was a very long and tiring day after a crazy work week.  We had a dance gig yesterday that left me tired and sore.  We had a rehearsal in the morning and then had time to get ready for the show.  I felt we had too much stand around time time in between getting ready for the show and the time we actually performed but that's alright.  As soon as we started dancing there was a huge crowd that appeared (we danced at an outdoor street festival) and they stayed for the entire hour that we danced. Not to brag or anything but the crowd went crazy when I did my sword solo and that felt pretty good!

Today, even though I was sore and tired, I got up early and went to another dance class.  I decided to attend the class of the woman I often sub for in a nearby town.  Her class was SO much fun and I think it's exactly what I needed to help boost my muchness factor.  I don't know if part of it was because I didn't feel any pressure since I don't perform with this particular group but I felt the freedom in the dance that I had when I first started (and that I feel when I solo).  I have an opportunity to dance my sword solo over the next two weekends (this coming weekend at a fundraiser and the following weekend at a belly dance showcase about an hour away) and I hope that I remember how I felt during class today to use in my performance.  Maybe I need to think of belly dance as a performance art to use in order to find myself...

Well my dear readers, I think it's time for me to bring this to a close in order to hopefully get some good sleep tonight.  I hope each and every one of you have an opportunity to find your muchness this week and that you can do at least one thing that brings you joy.  =)