Even more adventures.....

Yesterday, I had another adventure with my car.... I needed to replace the timing belt and water pump on my car (not because of how many miles that are on my car but because it's a 2003), so after calling around on Monday to find a decent price, I made an appointment at a shop for yesterday at 8 AM. So, after getting up way early for me on a Saturday, I took my car in and I was given an estimate that my car would be done at 3 PM. I then decided because it was a nice morning to walk the just around 2 miles to the belly dance studio. I stopped at the Starbucks to buy a hot chocolate (since it was chilly) and a scone for breakfast. So I walked to the studio, making pretty good time, and then put on some music to dance and stretch my legs after the walk.

After dancing for about 30 minutes, the power went out in the studio and the surrounding businesses. We started the first class in the dark (it's good we have a big front window and that it was sunny) and the power company workers came in and said that they would have the power up and running in a few hours because a transformer was blown. The first class passed pretty smoothly; mainly focusing on techniques. The second class was pretty hilarious as we attempted to hum/sing our music so we could dance along to it. It was pretty funny to hear all of us interpret the Middle Eastern fusion music differently and attempt to count/dance at the same time. Hopefully the power will be back in time for class tomorrow night! =)

After the two hours of dance class, my instructor gave me a ride to the shop where my car was and I began my wait (this was at noon). Three o'clock came and went and my car was still in pieces. Four o'clock came and went. Finally, at about quarter to five, I asked someone what was going on with my car. They came back and told me that the mechanic was finishing up and should be done within a half hour. An hour later I was called to the counter told that I could pay cause they were performing the last test. So, after six hours of sitting at the shop (luckily I had my electronic book with me), I got to go home. By that time, I was freezing (the shop was not warm), had a horrible headache and was shaking due to no food (all I had to eat during the day was my hot chocolate, my scone, a bottle of water and a Dt. Coke - - which was NOT good due to all of my physical activity during the day). I made it home with something to eat and immediately changed into sweats and curled up with the dogs. By the time I sat down on the couch, I did not want to move....

Then, after church today, I was going to run the errands I had planned to run yesterday after my car was finished. I went to start my car and the check engine light turned on when I started it. So, after the mental debate, I took the car back to the shop where it was yesterday. I ended up talking with the Assistant Manager and told him about my all day ordeal yesterday (he was very upset that no one offered to give me a ride somewhere; I told him that they said the shuttle driver had called in sick and by the time someone was offering rides, it was almost 3 so I declined). He had a mechanic run a test on my car and said that the light turned on most likely due to the new timing belt. They reset the light and told me that if I had any more problems, to bring it back, he would ensure there was someone to give me a ride (he reiterated again how unacceptable things were yesterday) and they would fix the problem. Thankfully there have been no more problems with the light (and that was after me running my errands) so hopefully all really is well now with my car.

I was just really proud of myself for not only calling around and finding a good price to have the work done (something I really don't like doing....) and for going back to the shop today and had them look at this issue (rather than just dealing). I feel like, in some ways at least, I am doing a better job looking out for me and taking care of the things that need to be taken care of. Granted, I had to set up a payment plan through the Bank of Mom and Dad (again, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!), but the timing belt is taken care of now and that's now one less thing to worry about.

I guess all I can really do is plan for things as best I can and take care of them if/when they come up. I am going to try really hard to not focus on the what ifs so much or make things into bigger problems than they actually are. I know, I know. I have said this before and it is something that I really am working on. One more thing to add to my quest I believe...

But since I didn't really get much accomplished yesterday, I should probably put the computer away and put away some laundry and the dishes I did before church this morning. Here's to a fabulous week for all of you readers! =)

Can I have a break?? ..... please....

Needless to say, from my title, it has been a rocky week for me....

It started on Monday - Valentine's Day. I went to dance class (which was good, it kept me busy) and during class, we turned off the main lights, turned on rope lighting and danced in the dark. As soon as I began to dance, I could hear the wasband's voice in my head - - telling me all of the things I was doing wrong, how terrible I looked, and how no one would want to watch me perform. We then got into a circle and all took the opportunity to dance mini-solos.... The voice in my head continued, pointing out my flaws (dance-wise, physical ones, emotional ones), and as I danced, I looked at the floor. It has been forever since I have danced with my eyes focused on the floor. When class ended, I practically ran out of the studio. The entire way home, it was my voice in my head questioning why I had allowed his voice to reduce me to that state. That his voice could reduce me to seemingly run away from what I have come to love (belly dance), even if it was only running away from one night at the studio.

When I got home, I should have known sleep would be next to impossible. After getting home, I tried to keep myself busy before going to bed, trying to wear myself out even more before I got ready for bed. I tossed and turned most of the night. When I did sleep, I was plagued in my dreams. For whatever reason, I got it in my head that he is enjoying his perfect new wife and family (from what I've been told, he has a wife and son). I don't know why I have it in my head that it's all perfect but that was the dream; seeing him enjoying his perfect family. I had this dream Monday night and Tuesday night. By the time Wednesday rolled around, I was praying I didn't have it again and I could actually get some sleep.

Wednesday, I went back to the studio and hoped for a better experience during dance class than I had on Monday. During the second class there were only four of us plus the instructor (so five total) so we decided to play around with some of our past dances. We started off with one of my personal favorites - our "story dance" (the story dance being the one where it's what a woman wishes she could say to her cheating husband but she can't). Surprisingly, that helped. Wednesday, I was finally able to get some sleep.

Thursday was pretty uneventful (thankfully) and that brings us to Friday. Actually, side note, Thursday I dropped my phone on the floor and my ultra cool, sparkly phone case decided to shatter - - I have since ordered one that can essentially be dropped down a flight of stairs and be fine. Friday, after work, I decided to go and have my foot tattoo filled in. I had the outline done a year ago this past October and said that I would have it filled in when I felt more "filled in" myself. I don't know if I'm 100% there as of yet, but I believe having it done will give me the push that I need. I had an appointment to have the work done but when I went to the tattoo studio (with a friend from work), the artist said that he was way behind and asked me to come back in about two hours.

With having time to kill, my friend decided that we should go to a nearby bar for a drink and a quick bite to eat. Another friend of ours lived pretty close and we invited her to join us. While we were at the bar, they tried to get me chatting it up with different guys. They would tell guys (after they started chatting them up) that we were out "celebrating" me. I thought I did pretty well talking with them. There was one point that I brought up the wasband and I received ankle kicks (one from each of them) under the bar. My mom recommended that next time, I ask the guy, since I've been out of the dating game for sometime, if he could explain what dating error I just made. I think it might be worth a shot. Other than that, the one error my friends told me that I made was I didn't ask for his phone number. I figure if he wanted to ask for mine or give me his, he could have. In my opinion, he was more into one of my friends but what do I know... At least I made an attempt...

Then, went back to the tattoo parlor and was able to get the work completed. I came home and have been trying to relax with my foot up since. Yes, I know that the money should have been used towards something more responsible (and I have been kicking myself for having it done since) but there is definitely nothing I can do about it now. I can't return the tattoo.

Oh, well. One way or another I will get everything figured out/taken care of that I need to.... I just have to keep reminding myself, I guess, that it's okay that I don't have all of the answers and that it's also okay to stumble and even fall. I just have to keep picking myself up, dusting myself off and try again. Hmmm..... maybe I should rethink my title because otherwise someone might think that if I fall I might need to actually break something..... I don't think that would help right now.... Maybe I'll just take a break from a Kit-Kat bar instead. =)

Skillet Toast and Other Adventures......

Yes, today I made toast using a skillet. It was SUPER yummy!! =)

Back story: yesterday (and this morning) I really wanted toast. However, in the divorce, the wasband wanted the toaster and like pretty much all the stuff he wanted, I let him have the toaster and I haven't had the opportunity to replace it yet. So, after debating how bad I wanted toast for breakfast, I came up with the solution. You make grilled cheese using a skillet and the outside of the sandwich is basically like toast so I applied the same principle.... I butter both sides of a piece of bread and placed it in a hot skillet. When it was toast, I added some strawberry jam. YUM! =) By the time I was finished, I thought to myself that I could have used another four pieces of skillet toast... It's a good thing that I don't have a lot of time in the mornings before work or my weight loss would be in trouble due to all of the skillet toast I would be eating... =)

Had church this morning and then came home and settled into what I thought would be an uneventful afternoon... WRONG! After talking to Mom, I was going to go and get sprinkles for a Valentine's celebration tomorrow. When I started my car, the battery light turned on.... Not exactly sure what that meant, I called Dad to ask. After informing me that it was either an issue with my battery, a belt or the alternator, we decided I should head to Auto Zone to see if they could test my battery out. Of course the battery checked out fine and it ended up being that the alternator needed to be replaced. At least the person at Auto Zone knew someone who could possibly replace the part, I just needed to call them up. Luckily they could do the work and it didn't cost me an arm and a leg like it would have if I would have gone through the dealership (as the wasband swore by doing).

So, after standing outside in the chilly temperatures (at least the sun was trying to shine) for just over an hour and a half, the car was fixed (I was very glad I grabbed a jacket on the way out of my apartment; not so happy with my footwear choice.... basically flip-flops). I then went and was able to (finally) buy the sprinkles that I originally went out to purchase. After getting back into my car after being so chilly I was shivering, let me just say how much I love my seat warmers!! When I got to the store, they only had one option (the first store I went to was completely out of sprinkles and the second store only had red sugar sprinkles), so that's what I bought. One I finally got home, I changed immediately into a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants.... Ahhhh, cozy. =)

Now that I have eaten and the dogs have been fed, we are all much happier. =) I think we are going to spend the rest of the evening curled up on the couch and just relaxing. At least I did the bulk of my errands/housework yesterday so I think I have earned an evening of relaxation. I think I will pop in a movie so I can avoid the last minute Valentine's Day commercials.... Have a fabulous week, everyone!! =)

Commercials....

I must say that commercials this time of year are bringing me down... I know that I'm not the single person out there but I find watching commercials about Valentine's Day kind of depressing. When I was married, we celebrated Valentine's Day and I guess I didn't think about those people out there who didn't have a significant other. Now, because I am in that group, I think about it....

Even when my ex and I were together, I questioned the idea of only "celebrating" your significant other one day a year. I think it's better to show/tell your significant other that you love/appreciate them every day. I don't know... Maybe that's just the romantic side of me; thinking that you should express your feelings to those you love daily.

Don't get me wrong; I have given/accepted Valentine's Day gifts in the past. I also know that I tried to express my feelings on more than just that one-day of the year. I believe if you love someone, you should say it, right then or the opportunity may pass you by. Life is unpredictable; you never know when you might miss the opportunity to say how you truly feel about someone.

I'm not saying that because there is someone I wish to say those words to right now, but I know that I do someday. I think I have to continue to focus on getting me figured out so that someday I can get out there into the dating world again.

Maybe part of my annoyance has nothing to do with the upcoming holiday and it may have everything to do with not having a day where I haven't had something that I have "had" to do in more than a week and a half... I know that it's good for me to keep busy, but there are times where it would be nice to have an evening where I can do whatever I want. I have had dance class, a dentist appointment, choir practice, extra evening hours at work, preparing for parent/teacher conferences, etc. I guess I will have to find some time to schedule some "me" time in the midst of all of this.

With how busy I've been, you may be asking how I've found time to even watch TV.... I try to find at least a little time each evening to unwind with the TV on (it is also a good way to help fill the silence in my apartment to just have it on, even if I'm not necessarily watching what's on). I guess I just have to remember that even if I don't like all of the Valentine's Day ads that are on TV, I can use all of this someday in my acting... Gotta love the original movie FAME..... =)

I should bring this to a close for tonight; I have Parent/Teacher Conferences tomorrow and Tuesday that I should probably make sure that I am prepared for. Maybe after all of the conferences are all said and done, I might be able to find some "me" time.... We'll see... =)