My own Valentine

The stores are filled with pink/red/white hearts, teddy bears, chocolates, roses, cards, etc...  Commercials are filled with people proposing, jewelry advertisements and romantic date movies opening soon...  This obviously means that Valentine's Day is right around the corner and this is one of those holidays that kind of drives me nuts...

Growing up, I saw the relationship that my parents had (and they have the same relationship now - even though they've been married forever) and they celebrate Valentine's Day every day.  They still hold hands and when they sit next to one another, Dad still puts his arm around Mom.  They have always been full of "I love yous" and hugs/kisses so Valentine's Day was just another day.  Between my brothers, sister and I there were plenty of times we've told our parents over the years to "get a room" because of them being lovey dovey.  That was the type of relationship that I strived to have - that Valentine's Day was just another day.  Yes, getting a card on February 14th was always a nice thing but I thought it would always be nicer to have the gestures of love happen on an everyday basis instead - just like Mom and Dad.

Rather than struggling with Valentine's Day this year (being single at this time of year is hard work...), I have decided that I'm going to be my own Valentine.  I haven't determined exactly what all that will entail but I'm going to challenge myself with it.  One of the "rules" I've decided that will go along with that day will be that I'm not allowed to be negative towards myself at all that day.  I know that might be a lofty goal (especially for me...) but it's one that I'm determined to keep.  I figure if I can start with one day of being nice to myself it might make it a little easier to do on a regular basis.  I know that it's not going to be easy but it's something that I definitely need to try...

For my own well-being, another thing that I know I need to make an effort to get better at is letting go of the things that I cannot change or that I have no control over.  Things at work have been really stressing me out and I figure that can't be good for me (on a physical/mental/emotional level).  Because of the stress, I haven't been sleeping well at all and I have a feeling that had something to do with me having a cold that lasted almost two weeks.  Thankfully I am starting to feel better physically but I know deep down that something has to change.

I know that stress can manifest itself in strange ways but I could do without how it manifested itself last night.  I was in the middle of a pretty pleasant dream (can't remember the details but know that it was nice) when I heard a voice calling my name.  Wouldn't you know it but the voice was that of the wasband.  That was not a good feeling and it actually left me feeling pretty weirded out.  It's been awhile since I've had anything other than a passing thought of him so to have him as a part of a dream just had me feeling uneasy.  Hopefully it doesn't happen again tonight because I don't know if I can handle it two nights in a row...

Well, my dear readers, since I have Valentine's Day plans for myself to make and I didn't sleep well last night, it has probably come to the point that I should bring this to a close in order to prepare myself for the week ahead.  I hope you have a great week and I'll see you next time!  (Hopefully next week I'll have some good news about my plans to share with you!)  =)