Today, it was a beautiful day here, so I decided to walk to church. I figured I only live about two blocks away, so why not. I think with the summer weather approaching, I might have to walk to church more often. =)
Yesterday I went shopping with a friend of mine from work because she needed to pick up some maternity clothes. While the trip was a little difficult for me (since I still want to have my own children some day), I felt as if it was a necessary part of my quest. While children are something that I would like for myself, I can still be happy for those around me who are welcoming a new life into the world. One of the things I told my friend on the shopping trip is something my Mom has told me - - you have to buy clothes that fit and sometimes not look at the size on the tag.
My friend had tried on a top in a medium and while it fit right now, it wasn't going to fit her for long (she is currently about 3 1/2 months pregnant). I offered to go get the same blouse in a large so she could try it on and she didn't seem to keen on that idea. I told her to try it on and she could always cut the tag out of it later. I just wanted her to be comfortable wearing the top and didn't want her to pass it by just because of the size she would need to buy it in. This is an idea I haven't always been comfortable with myself but it is one that I am working on...
While we were shopping, we went into one of "my" stores and I found a few tops for myself. I was super excited in my selections because I was able to buy a size in that store that I haven't before - a lower size! YAY! I guess that just means it's time to go through my closet again and downsize... =)
Another thing to be happy about is a comment my Mom made when I was talking to her today. I had sent Mom and Dad the photos taken during my belly dance solo last week and Mom told me that in looking at the photos, I look genuinely happy and she hasn't seen that in about two years or so. Looking at the pictures myself, I agree with her. I don't know what it is about belly dancing but I am finding a part of myself that even I didn't know was missing. Not only is belly dance improving me physically, it is improving my self-confidence and filling a void in my life (and not just the void my wasband left). It's hard to explain...
While I began dancing after he left, I am dancing for me and that's something I haven't felt I could do before. Belly dance is something just for me; because it brings joy to my life. As I said, I know there was a void in my life when my wasband left but there was a part of me that even I didn't know was missing; the me deep down inside, the me even I didn't know existed. I guess, in a way, I should thank my wasband for leaving me, if nothing else so I could find this part of me (as well as face the demons from my past).
After just a few lessons, belly dance has become an "addiction" and I can't imagine my life without it right now or anytime in the near (or distant) future. =) There are times where I may struggle with a section of choreography or a particular movement; it makes me that much more determined to work on it. With that thought, I think I am going to work on a move or two before heading to bed for tonight. Keep shimmying! =)
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