A hurdle from this week was that this past week was my wasband's birthday. Since it was his birthday, I decided to buy myself some presents instead. =) I thought that sounded like a good idea. I bought myself some pieces for belly dancing - I figured the dancing is something I'm doing for me so I thought it was appropriate. =) I bought a new pair of dance pants (which are black with a mesh insert down the outside of the leg with blue/black geometric shapes all over the mesh inserts). I also bought a new hip wrap from my dance instructor (she has had it on display for sale in the studio for a while now and I have been looking at it and just decided to buy it).
The hip wrap I bought is the one that I decided to wear for our belly dance performance yesterday. Let me rewind a little though.... I went to dance class last Monday night and the instructor was talking to us about our upcoming performance (the one that we had yesterday). She said that we would be doing some troupe dances and then some solos. She asked me if I would be willing to do a solo and my first response was "um.... no....." and she responded, "how about do it anyway...." So, needless to say, I ended up performing a solo yesterday.
I danced to the same song I did back in the beginning of April. I, of course, couldn't remember the moves I did in that performance so I tried to come up with new choreography. While I was performing, I once again forgot the choreography I had come up with but I continued to dance and that's what's important. I also remembered to SMILE through the dance which is something I have been working on.
People told me that I did a good job with my solo and I even got my first tip ($1 from the dancer who organized the event - - all of the soloists got a $1 tip). I have seen photos of the solo but I haven't seen the video of the performance for myself. I am proud of myself for doing the solo and I am trying hard not to beat myself up too much for forgetting my choreography. I am trying to tune out the negative voice in my head.....
With help, I have come to the conclusion that it is no longer necessary for me to listen to that voice in my head. I no longer want to listen to that voice in my head. Why should I listen to the voice that tells me that I'm not enough? I am working on giving myself credit for the things that I do achieve and doing a second belly dance solo after only 6 months of lessons is a big deal in my opinion. A friend of mine has been doing belly dance for years and she has never done a solo. Not that anything is wrong with her not doing a solo, I am proud of myself for going outside my comfort zone and doing two at this point.
That's one of the things that I have learned along my quest so far - - that while going outside of my comfort zone can be scary, if I don't, I won't grow as a person. And if I stop learning and growing, what's the point of being on a quest? For now, I am going to continue along my quest....
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