Would I change things?

In the last week or two, I've had some people ask me if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, would I change things? After thinking about it, my answer is more complex than just a "yes" or a "no."

Would I have changed things with the "wasband?" Yes. Would I have still married him knowing how things ended up? Yes.

I know that may seem strange - why would I go through all it knowing it was just going to end in heartache? If I wouldn't have gone through the heartache, I wouldn't be in the place I am in my life now. Yes, I have (several times) consulted my Magic 8 ball and have asked it if I should just drive my car into the ocean (and the answer from the 8 ball has been "yes" and "no" so I'm confused....) so maybe it's a good thing my Magic 8 ball is still packed in a box somewhere... :)

I would not be on my current quest if I wouldn't have gone through what I have in the last year. So, yes, I would still marry him knowing what I know now because of who I am becoming. I would use the information I know now to make different choices with him realizing even that might not have been enough to save the marriage. Things still might have ended in heartache; there's really no way to know.

Yes, there are times that hindsight sucks but that doesn't mean I would trade it all in just to relive the past. I have learned a lot about myself and who I want to become and who I never want to be again. So, like I said, it's more complicated than a simple "yes" or "no."

Yesterday, I had to laugh at myself again because of something that excited me... I emptied out the suitcases that I have been living out of and put the clothes in my dresser and in the closet! Yes, I still have 3 wardrobe boxes (all three of which, when empty, fit into my Volkswagen Beetle and there was still room for my Mom and I - - it's true!!) to empty but that will come in time. :)

Granted, I still have LOTS more boxes to unpack but it will give me something to do when I'm not working. And who knows, there are lots of opportunities still open to me so I still don't know 100 % where I'm going to end up. Only time will tell... Maybe it's a good thing humans don't have a way to see what the future holds. Yes, I have said at times I wish that I just knew where I was going to end up but (even though it may sound weird coming from me...) I'm kind of enjoying the journey. And I'm looking to see not only where I end up, but who the new "Gypsy" becomes....

Thanks for joining me on my quest. :)