Take that leap...

I had someone tell me this weekend that I'm weird and my response of "thank you" seemed to throw them off.  I don't see being referred to as weird as a bad thing but something that signified that I stand apart from the crown/norm/ordinary.  I actually see being referred to as weird as a compliment.  One of my all time favorite Dr. Seuss quotes is "why fit in when you were born to stand out?"  I, for one, am tired of trying to "fit in" all of the time and am ready to once again let my freak flag fly.  I know that's not necessarily a popular decision but I need to be able to express myself and in limiting that, I am only making myself miserable.  I seem to go through these cycles of caring/not caring what people think of me and I don't know why that is.  I don't feel as if there is anything that I do that is overly crazy; yes, I have weird hair, wear bright colors/crazy patterns, glittery glasses, wear crazy colored shoes, weird earrings but it's all me.

At work we just completed week one of eight of our summer programming and we all survived.  This first week of summer camp went pretty well despite some of the hiccups along the way.  The kids all seemed to have fun this past week and we're hoping that they have fun this upcoming week as well.  Going into this week, we have more kids in attendance but one of my staff members is back from vacation but another one of my staff is off all week (more on that in a minute).  Depending on the time of day, I may be short staffed during lunches but I'll find a way, as always, to make it work.  I am also short staffed in the office as my operations clerk had her last day in our building this past week; she's moving on to bigger/better opportunities but it definitely makes me nervous.  But knowing me and my staff, we will pull together as usual and it will work - it may not work as planned but it will work.

Last Friday, it was my first day without my operations clerk and two of my staffed called out - one her son was sick and she needed to take care of him and the other sent me a heartbreaking message Thursday night saying that her mom had passed away.  Her mom had been sick in the hospital but they were looking at running one last routine test before sending her home and they got her into the OR for the procedure and discovered that her lungs were filled with blood.  Since it was unexpected, it has hit her as well as all of the staff (myself included) really hard.

The night that I heard the news, I wrapped myself up in the shawl/blanket that my mom crocheted for me after my divorce.  The color of my shawl/blanket is deep blue like the evening sky/ocean and she told me that she put her love and hugs in every stitch.  After hearing of the sudden passing of my coworker's mom, I needed to feel attached to my mom.  Mom and I are extremely close (and I'm very close to my Dad, too) and I can't imagine her suddenly just being gone.  Maybe thinking about this sudden situation is what's reinforced me letting my freak flag fly and be true to me...

I came across a saying this past week that has really stuck with me.  "Sometimes the journey/road will be soft; sometimes the journey/road will be hard; sometimes you have to just close your eyes and take a leap..."  I don't know if it's because of the situation with my coworker or what, but this thought really stuck with me.  Even though it scares me to no end, I think I am preparing myself to close my eyes and take a leap - I don't necessarily know what I'm leaping into, but I'm getting ready for that jump.

Well my dear readers, I just realized what time it is so I should probably get to bed since I have to be up to get ready for work in a handful of hours.  I really hope you take opportunities to embrace your weirdness in this upcoming week and beyond because there is no one else just like you!  Thank you for joining me along my journey!  =)