Accomplish

This week has left me feeling as if there was very little that I could write on a list that I feel as if I'm doing well.  Now in my more rational moments (which can be few and far between it seems), I know that I could write a list of things that I do accomplish well but that is not the list that keeps me up at night.  There was actually one night this past week that I woke up in an absolute panic around 4:30 am and have no idea why.  It was not a good feeling and I still haven't been able to figure out where that feeling of panic came from.

There were moments this week at work that left me questioning what I've been doing the last 2.5 years because I felt as if I didn't have a handle on my job but that it had a handle on me.  I once again put in an extraordinary amount of hours and don't feel as if I crossed off enough items on my "to do" list along with the amount of time I was in the building.  Over the next number of weeks, I know that I'm going to have to put in lots of weekly hours as we are gearing up for not only summer programming but for an inspection at some point as well (it's an unannounced visit so we just have to be ready for it).  I know that my "to do" list is always going to be there the next day when I walk into work; I spend my nights adding to it and don't always remember what I need to add to it when I get to the building in the morning.

In my more rational moments, I know that I am only one person and can only get just so much accomplished on my own.  On the flip side, there are times that I criticize myself for not getting enough accomplished on any given day and the times I spend in programming with the kids/teens, I should be in my office getting things done.  I don't want to necessarily isolate myself all day in my office but I know that there are days that I probably need to do just that in order to clear some of my "to do" list.  Maybe I just need to pick one or two days out of the week to do just that - spend much of my day in the office and accomplish as many things as I can off of my "to do" list since I never know if a staff member is going to call out of work and I need to be in programming as support.

I think I need to learn to be more like my Mom and get better at multi-tasking.  Like most Moms, my Mom is like an octopus in the sense that she always seems to have multiple pairs of hands, working on multiple projects at any given time.  While there are times (and maybe quite often) she got frustrated by us kids, she still was able to accomplish what we needed from her and accomplish it with love.  Another thing I think I need to remember to take from my childhood is Mom told us on a regular basis (Dad did too) that, "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine;" I think I need to take this into work.  I am often told to drop everything in order to complete a task; this isn't always and easy thing to do but when the boss says to...

Even though I don't get to see my Mom near as often as I wish that I could, I get the opportunity to talk to her almost every week.  While it's not the same thing, it's nice to be able to talk to her and draw strength for the week from those conversations.  I've always been close to my Mom and even if I'm just talking to her about how my week went and what's on my agenda for the upcoming week, it's nice to be able to hear her voice.  Thanks for always being there for me, Mom!

I guess I should bring this to a close for the night and attempt to get some sleep tonight.  I'm not overly tired but I know that I need to head to bed so I can face the day tomorrow and the week ahead.  Thank you to all of the Moms out there - you are loved/appreciated more than what your kids tell you!  I love you, Mom!