For those of you who know me, I really don't like not being at my 100% (and I know that my 100% isn't the same as someone else's 100%) but I know rationally that I can't always be at that level without needing to cut myself slack at times. That's not something that I usually tell myself but I'm realizing it more and more - I need to cut myself slack. I need to tell myself that it's okay if I don't accomplish everything at the end of the day. I need to tell myself that a job is still done even if it's not "perfect." I need to tell myself that it's okay to delegate. I need to tell myself that it's okay if I screw up - the world won't end if I make a mistake. In general, I need to do a better job at giving myself pep talks rather than pointing out all of the negatives (even though in the past, it's been way easier to believe the negatives, I need to change that before I make myself crazy or make myself crazier than I already am....).
This upcoming week at work is going to be an interesting one since I will be out of the building for a day and a half of training. I will be in the building Tuesday after training for about an hour to close the building and then Wednesday is supposed to be a half day training and a half day of work. This has happened before but I put pressure on myself to get five days worth of work done in the three and a half I'll be in the building. What I'll have to attempt is to just keep a running list of things to get done and be okay if I don't get everything done in a day that I set out to do - it will stay on the list and I will get it done when I can. The training is mandatory so it takes priority over getting some of the other things done (or it's just an opportunity to work on my delegating skills).
One of the things I'm working on telling myself, along with all of the other things, is that I matter. If I'm sick, I'm entitled to time off just like everyone else. If I need to get something accomplished, I get to close my door and get the task completed. If I need to take a break, I get to walk away from work for a bit just like my staff gets to. If I want to express myself with crazy hair/colors/accessories, I get to do just that.
That brings me to a conversation I had with someone while walking into church this morning. She's the choir member who asked to read a couple of my postings and she had told me at choir practice on Thursday that she was going to smack me over what she read. She didn't take the opportunity to smack me on Thursday since someone asked if I could give them a ride home after rehearsal so she smacked me today. When I asked her why, she asked me why I haven't talked to anyone at church about feeling as if I don't belong - I turned it around to her and asked her why no one noticed. We talked some about me being referred to as "hey you" on multiple occasions and the fact that no one from the church was really there from me after the divorce (I know that was a long time ago but the hurt feelings are still there). We'll see if anything comes from it but at least the conversation was had.
I feel as if I've given myself some things to think about as well as some goals so I'm going to bring this to a close for this evening. Since I've been sick, some night have been more restless than others but I'm hoping to get a good night's sleep tonight so I can get my to do list accomplished at work tomorrow - we'll see how that goes. I hope you have a wonderful week, my dear readers, and thank you for joining me again! =)
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