What if...

These two little words don't have a lot of strength when they're alone but when placed side by side, they make a powerful statement.  On a regular basis, people (me included) use the question of "what if" in a negative fashion - what if I made more money?; what if I lived in a better place?; what if I could change my appearance?; what if... what if... what if....  I've been giving things some thought and I've been wondering what would happen to people's attitudes/thoughts if they changed "what if" to a more positive question.

What if I take some time off for myself?  What if I decide to buy something frivolous for me just because?  What if I take a road trip?  What if I would stop doing the things I feel as if I "have" to do? What if I would decide to only work an 8 hour day instead of a 12 hour one?  What if I were to let my freak flag fly regardless of who's around?  What if I were to speak up for myself in situations where I usually bite my tongue?

Yesterday I decided to take a road trip (and I didn't talk myself out of it even though the thought crossed my mind).  I have wanted for awhile now to go to one of the zoos in the state and I have always found reasons not to go.  Yesterday I opted to push all of those reasons aside, jumped in my car, drove just over two hours from where I live and I spent the day at the zoo.  I would've preferred it to be a more sunny day but I think the zoo would've been more crowded if the sun had been shinning.  I had fun at the zoo and got some really neat photos!  On the drive back, the sun decided to come out and the temperature climbed, so I dropped the convertible top, turned the music up and sang along at the top of my lungs.  I got a little bit of a sunburn but I think it was definitely worth it for the fun I had!

On Friday, the dance troupe I belong to danced in the 4th of July parade.  I let some of the other members ride on the float and I walked/dance the entire parade.  My knee wasn't too happy with me by the end of it but I still had fun.  After the parade, a friend of mine asked if I would join her for lunch and that's what I did (after I scraped all of the make-up and glitter off first).  =)  Once I got back from the lunch, I crashed on the couch for a bit and took a much needed nap (maybe it was in preparation for my zoo trip I didn't know I would be taking).

After this weekend, I have made a decision - it's one that's been in the making for some time, I just haven't committed to it before now.  I have decided to take the next couple weeks off from singing in the church choir and that will leave me with two days in the week where I feel as if there are things I have to do (one night a week after work is rehearsal and then one day of the weekend to sing).  I feel pretty good about my decision (even though there are some who have tried to talk me out of it - especially the choir director) and I feel as if it's something that I need to do for me.  If nothing else, I feel as if I need to do it for my sanity.

The next thing I would like to work on for myself is to make a conscious effort to cut back some at work, delegate tasks and then be okay with how those individuals complete said assigned tasks (and not feel the compulsive need to go back and re-do the work just because they didn't complete it the same way that I would).  There has been talk about me not being there for the full 12 hours but I haven't cut back yet.  This past week left me questioning my effectiveness in being in a leadership role and looking back on the things that happened I'm wondering if those feelings are partially coming from feeling as if I'm burning out.  I'm going to toy with the idea as I go into work this week and see if there are any days as if I feel as if I can leave early or just leave for some time during the day.  I know there will be at least one day that I have to leave to come home and let my dogs out since we have a mandatory staff meeting one day after work.

Well, my dear readers, I have definitely given myself some things to think about this week and I hope that I will be able to focus on my more positive what ifs.  I should probably bring this to a close so I can put some laundry away or something to get ready for the week ahead.  I hope you all have a fabulous week ahead and that you'll find at least one thing you can do for yourself this week - I know that something I'm going to work on.  See you next week!  =)