surrender

The concept of surrendering is not a new one to me.  Basically it has always meant waving the white flag and giving up.  This past week during my quest, a new way to look at surrendering was introduced to me - what if, instead of giving up, surrender instead is letting go of something in order for it to be replaced with something new/different?  Along with that, it doesn't necessarily need to be better/worse but rather it's something that wasn't anticipated.  I don't know about you, dear readers, but I had always equated surrendering with somewhat negative connotations.  With this new concept, it may or may not be a question of negative or positive just different...

I will have to try very hard to arm myself with this new philosophy on surrender this upcoming week.  Some of my responsibilities at work have shifted for the next couple of weeks and while I know I'm up for the challenge, it's going to test this new view on surrender as well as test my opportunity to let my freak flag fly.  This responsibility shift is not only going to test me mentally/physically but it is also going to challenge me to learn how and delegate jobs that I would ordinarily just take care of myself.  I'm going to be putting in extra hours (which always makes for a nice paycheck) but I know that I will have to learn how and delegate some responsibilities because even with the extra time, there just won't be enough hours in the work day to accomplish everything.

This last one is going to be what's most difficult for me (I have become accustomed to stretching myself too thin physically/mentally/emotionally).  I'm the type who will take on additional tasks and just do them myself so I know they're done properly rather than delegate them to someone else.  I know that in the long run doing it that way isn't best for anyone involved (because it stresses me out and teaches them that I'll just do the work for them) but I have often found that it's easiest for me at the time to just take on those additional tasks.  But I know that for the best interest of everyone in the long run, I do need to start not taking on so much responsibility at once.  If I can't find a way to (once again) balance those scales, everything is going to begin to suffer and I don't want that to happen.

This balancing act doesn't just apply to work.  I am seriously starting to think that I have multiple sets of scales -- one for work, one for dance, one for "everything else."  Maybe because I have multiple scales, that's why I'm having difficulty finding ways to balance everything.  I think I have to start looking at things that come up in my day to day activities as spinning plates -- I can only keep so many spinning at one time before they all come crashing to the ground.  I guess it's up to me to decide which plates are worth saving and which ones I should either let someone else worry about or be okay with them crashing to the ground.  I have personally spun plates but have only ever done two at one time.  I guess I will just have to remember that...

There was one day this past week that I put all of the spinning plates on hold (even though I was very reluctant to do so) and I went out for the evening with one of my coworkers.  She had told me that she had plans to go out and invited me to go - I was trying to find a way to politely back out of the invitation when I received a couple of text messages from her when she was out.  Since it wasn't too far from where I life (and I figured it would just be for a little bit), I changed, slapped on some make up and I went out.  They got me out on the dance floor and they even convinced me to participate in karaoke (for the first time EVER -- yes, as a singer, I have never done karaoke until this past weekend).  It was a fun night (and I actually didn't make it home until almost midnight!) and I've been trying to not give myself too much of a hassle for going out.  I think it's something that I might do again but probably not on a regular basis -- since it was way outside of my usual comfort zone.

But on that note, I should probably bring this to a close for tonight dear readers so I can get as much done with what's left of the evening before the week ahead.  I hope it's a good one, dear readers!  =)