Standing my ground

Well, dear readers, it is almost the end of another weekend and I am left wondering why it's already time to go back to work in the morning...  I had a list of things as long as my arm that I wanted to accomplish this weekend and it didn't happen.  Yes, I was able to get some of the things checked off the list (which I do recognize and pat myself on the back for those accomplishments) but with other items, I started them and other things popped up to be added to the list as well.  I guess I have to just do what I tell the kids at work, sometimes you just have to keep trying and not give up.  I will just have to take a little bit of time if/when possible this upcoming week to keep trying to get the items on the list done so I can cross them off of the to-do list.  We'll see how that goes...

I had some interesting situations at work that caused me to question or not if I should continue my attempts in letting my freak flag fly.  I have a coworker who has made it quite clear that she doesn't like me and it seems as if she is expecting me to change who I am to suit her needs (she even gave me the silent treatment at work - which was honestly fine by me).  At one point, I almost gave into her expectations and I questioned if I should change myself or not...  After really giving it some thought and introspection, I decided that I was NOT going to change for her just because she doesn't like me.  If she doesn't like me or my personality, I am not going to let it bother me nor am I going to change who I have worked so hard to become just because she wants me to.  I am pretty proud of myself for that realization and for the fact that I'm standing my ground.

While I know my personality is one that can be challenging at times (and I am okay with admitting that about myself), I am tired of changing who I am so people can "like" me.  I have friends who like me.  Other people that I encounter can accept me or not but they don't have to necessarily like me.  Just like I am not required to like people that I come in contact with.  It is up to me to choose how I interact with people but I'm done giving people the control over me to think they can change who I am.  I also have the choice if I'm going to continue to give that control to those around me or not.  As of right now, I am going to do what is necessary to hang tight to that control over me and I chose to not change who I am just because it might be easier for someone else.  That felt really good to write that.  I'm going to write it again...  I CHOSE TO NOT CHANGE WHO I AM JUST BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE EASIER FOR SOMEONE ELSE!

This afternoon I went back and reread some of my old blog posts.  The ones I selected to read made me get introspective and made me think about some of the things that I've overcome and realize how far I've actually come in the last number of years.  There are times I have felt as if I've made little to no progress but I saw today that I truly have.  Am I 100% where I want to be, no, but I'm getting there.  Each accomplishment, no matter how small, is cause for a celebration and recognition.  I am going to try and make an effort to find something weekly (and then maybe work myself up to find something daily) that I have accomplished and celebrate said accomplishment.  I know that's going to take some work on my part but it's something that I'm going to set as a goal to work on.

Well, speaking of goal setting, I should probably sign off for tonight in order to work some more on the baby blanket that is almost completed.  I have just a little bit longer until I promised that it would be finished so I'm trying my hardest to reach that goal.  Have a fabulous week my dear readers and LET THOSE FREAK FLAGS FLY!!  =)