Do you know me at all?

I am finding it difficult to believe that I am entering year 4 of writing Gypsy's Quest...  I sometimes go back and reread posts just so I can see that I really am making some sort of progress because there are times that I doubt it...

One of the things that was brought to my attention in the past week is the fact that we can change ourselves in a "nanosecond" and we don't have to have things stay as they always have.  What led up to that was a conversation trying to get me to involve myself in a group social setting.  I don't like being involved usually in a group setting nor do I tend to do well in social settings in general.  My dance troupe was meeting/getting ready at my instructor's house and people were gathered in the kitchen eating/socializing and I was stretching in the dining room.  I could see into the kitchen and was able to overhear the conversation going on.  While I didn't choose to participate in said conversation, I was doing what I needed to do in order to prepare for the performance.  My instructor came into her dining room and told me that she missed me being in the kitchen and asked why I wasn't in with the group...

Since she's known me (it will be 4 years this November), I've told her about me and social gatherings/situations.  I just wanted to say, "Do you know me at all?"  Instead, I explained to her again that I have never enjoyed/done well in social situations.  She then told me about changing myself in a nanosecond and that I can make a conscious effort to change and that I should.  For those of you in cyber land who truly know me, you know that my personality is one that tends to become stubborn when I'm told what I should/have to do.  While I could see her point, that is part of myself that I am comfortable with.  At this point, because it is something within myself that I'm actually comfortable with, I'm not sure that it's something I'm willing to change.  Work on it?  Sure.  But I'm not ready to completely change that part of me.

I guess with everything else that's happened in my life in that last number of years (things that I have had control over and things that I've had no control over), I am more cautious with the aspects of my life that I willingly change; especially just because someone else wants me to.  I am just trying to get more comfortable with who I am (even if who that is isn't something that has been entirely determined yet).  I have come to terms with the fact I am a work in progress and I'm hoping some day that other's will come to terms with that as well.


Yesterday, my belly dance troupe danced at the county fair and I got a touch of a sunburn.  I didn't think about it beforehand and my dance top is cut slightly differently than the swimsuit I wore while at Mom and Dad's.  I have a touch of a sunburn on my chest but my back (including my lower back) is pretty red.  At least it hasn't bugged me too much (oops...  probably just jinxed myself by writing that) so far and hopefully it won't peel.  The performance was fun (even with a few choreography snafus) and afterwards I had the best peach champagne gelato.  Yum!  =)

Well, since I have a long week ahead of me, I should probably sign off for tonight.  I have tomorrow off of work (yay!), work then a dentist appointment on Tuesday, work and dance class on Wednesday, work and bell/vocal choir rehearsal on Thursday, work and then working late night on Friday and then dance class and a solo performance on Saturday (and I have yet to select the music for that performance).  So I think I'm going to rest my knee and relax for the rest of the evening in order to gather my strength for the week.