Perspective

Over the last week or so I have been attempting to change my perspective on a few aspects of my life. Throughout my examination, even though I do try my best to take the thought and feelings of others into consideration and try to do what I can to help those around me, I find myself afterwards wondering what else I could have done rather than focusing on what I have accomplished. Maybe due to having my allergies act up this past week (and they are trying to turn into a slight infection now I believe) has caused me to feel a bit sorry for myself. However, this evening, I am working towards shaking myself out of this...

As I was putting away some laundry today (still have quite a bit more to do but I think I'm done for the night), I started wondering to myself why I am hanging onto all of these clothes that I have that no longer fit me? That was the point that I stopped putting things away and I began to separate the clothes that no longer fit me into a laundry basket of items to donate to the Goodwill. With each article of clothing that went into the basket, I began to feel a little bit better about me and my own situation.

I put a couple of other things in the basket for donation that I'm feeling pretty good about... I unearthed a couple of stuffed animals given to me by the wasband that are going to be donated. It makes me feel good to think that they will provide hugs to children who need them rather than just being shoved in my closet or under my bed. Maybe this is one more way where I am trying to make good of a not so good situation...

While thinking about it, maybe one of the reasons I've been hanging onto some of these items is I've, once again, been trying to hold onto some part of the "old" me. I guess since it's just silly to keep hanging onto these clothes since there is no way I plan on becoming that size again, I might as well donate them to someone who will get a use out of them; especially if someone is in need of them.

Even though there are times that I wish for parts of my old life back, as a whole, that's not what I wish for anymore. I am over wanting "him" and having him in my life. Yes, someday it would be nice to have a man in my life again however, if it doesn't happen, I am learning that I can do things on my own. Do I always want to do things on my own? No. But I am learning that I can. I know that as time goes on, I will continue to find the things that I can do (and learn that it's still okay for me to look to family and friends when I need to and that doesn't make me a failure if I need that support).

I guess like the title of this post says, it's all about putting things into perspective. If you would have asked me 34 months ago (wasband left me Nov 18th, 2008) if I would be where I am now in my journey, I probably would have either laughed or burst into tears. But there are times now that I do realize that not only have I survived this whole mess but I am also thriving.

I guess with putting some of these things into perspective for myself, it's time to once again, roll up my sleeves, turn on/up the music and continue to clean up certain aspects of my life (and my apartment). Maybe the song, "I Will Survive" will be an appropriate choice. But, I think Aretha Franklin will need to wait until tomorrow because I think this Gypsy is heading to bed... Have a good week everyone! =)