Closing another chapter

I am looking into closing yet another chapter in the Book of Wasband. I have boxed/sent off the jewelry he gave me over the course of our marriage and am selling it (or at least, selling it is the plan). The only pieces I am looking at keeping are the diamond earrings that he gave me since I wear those pretty much everyday (and they were a Christmas gift rather than anniversary gifts). I am at the point where I am ready to let the other pieces go (and in doing so, hoping to free myself).

Of course before boxing the pieces up, I had to open the boxes the pieces were in and look at them/put them on one last time. This was a good thing and a mistake at the same time. I think it was good in the sense of one last opportunity for closure; it was a mistake in the sense I then cried for 45 minutes to an hour. After the cry, I packed all of the jewelry into a box and sent it to a friend of mine who is going to look into selling it for me. The idea of sending it to a friend of mine to see if she could sell it was actually my Dad's idea...

His thought was if I sent it to a friend who has not emotional attachment to the pieces, she will either be able to fight for a better price or just go through with it (rather than the possibility of me "chickening out" at the last moment). So, I did my part and sent it to her and now all I can do is wait and see what she finds out. I think it will be a good thing to have this chapter of the book closed so I can move onto the next chapter/book.

In this current book, the wasband has been a main character. In the sequel, I will be the main character. In a lot of ways that's an awfully odd concept for me. I am working on my own story and, as of right now, I am just looking at a book filled with empty pages. As an avid reader (and a writer; even if it's just my blog) and empty book can be a little disconcerting. Yes, that means it is full of possibilities, but as I've written before, sometimes too many possibilities can be an overwhelming thing.

I guess to keep it from being too overwhelming; I can look at it as I look at writing my post each week. I start with a blank document and add one word at a time. A combination of words turns into a sentence. Sentences blend together to create paragraphs and so on. That's how I have to look at my story right now. One word/one thought at a time and go from there. It's okay if I don't know how it's going to end when I start, I just have to write. And while with writing, I can hit the delete/backspace key if I don't like what I've written, I know I can't do that with life. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I am hesitating seeing the blank pages before me...

I just have to realize for myself that even if I do make a mess/mistake, all I have to do is clean-it up and move on. I don't have to let a mistake define me or who I am working on becoming (the best version of myself that I can become). I also don't have to try and erase the mistake but rather learn from it and move on from there. Besides, there is no eraser in what we call life. I know that it may not always be easy, but we were never promised that life would be easy.... It's just life. Make of it what you will... As Kermit the Frog says, "life's like a movie, write your own ending.... keep believing, keep pretending..."

He's one smart Frog. =)