It is interesting to think about how to change the way I treat myself. I tend to go out of my way to help others but I don't always do the best job at going out of the way for myself. I don't tend to treat/pamper myself (a lot of that comes from not always having extra spending money) but I try to help others how/when I can... I don't want to become completely narcissistic or anything but I know that I do need to start thinking about myself every now and then. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to accomplish that but it's something that I am going to start doing.
I also know that I need to stop beating myself up over my past mistakes. It is something that has always come semi-natural to me - think worst-case scenario when it comes to what might happen to me and then when I do make a mistake, focus on the error rather than how to change it next time. That is something else that I know that I need to work on... I have to learn how to take things in stride rather than automatically jump to worst-case scenario and doom/gloom.
Maybe it comes from wanting to wear too much black as a teenager or something... =) I think most of it comes from attempting to steel myself before the "bad" happens to keep from getting hurt. I know that some hurt (speaking emotional hurt not physical) is inevitable even if I do steel myself. I guess I would just rather prepare for the worst-case scenario so that it's not a surprise. I think I need to realize in my head as well as my heart that not everyone is going to hurt me and that every situation is going to cause me emotional pain.
I have to learn to trust in myself and in my decisions so that others around me will do that as well. I know that I also have to work on being a better friend towards me so I can be a better friend of others.
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