Isn't being a grown-up fun?

To answer my own question - no, there are definitely times that being a grown-up is NOT fun! Isn't it ironic that when we are kids, we can't wait to be grown-up, and then when we are adults we wish we could be kids again.... The only downside would be you would have to go through all of the garbage once again.... I guess I'll just stick with being a grown-up....

This past week has been one of emotional ups and downs.... I think part of it comes from getting back into the everyday swing of things after having my vacation and having my brother visit. It was nice having someone other than my dogs to talk to at the end of the day. Oh, well. My dogs are kind of like my kids so they have to put up with all of my idiosyncrasies. =)

I guess in some ways I have become disillusioned with some things this past week. I was hoping to hear back from the job I had interviewed for and I haven't heard back (I did call them on Friday as a follow-up but I had to leave a message). I have applied for other jobs this weekend and we'll see if I get a follow up from anyone. There are times I wish that I could just make someone hire me but I don't think that it works that way (cause then, no one would be unemployed.....). I mean, I know I should be happy that I have a job, but still.....

It didn't help that this week someone I work with asked me "don't you want more? You have a degree, why aren't you doing something more with your life?" I know that this person was just asking me a question (they haven't been working with us very long) and she was just trying to get to know me some, but it will still hard to hear. My response is, yes, I do want more it's just been some crummy situations that have lead me to this point and I'm trying to move on...

I also can't believe it's been almost one year since I had to go to court to have the judge tell me that the marriage was over. In four months it will be two years since my wasband walked out on me without a look back. That's still hard for me sometimes.... While the pain isn't as raw as it was, it is still there and I know that it will take time still to be completely over things - and I don't know if I will ever be completely over the situation.... Only time will tell...

One of the good things that DID happen this week is, yesterday I lead my very first belly dance at the studio yesterday! My instructor and another dancer went to a workshop yesterday and my instructor asked me if I would be her substitute teacher. It was kind of neat to have a key to the studio. I got there about an hour before the beginning class to get the studio opened and then I took advantage of the fact that I was the only one there and I danced in the studio. Just me. My choice of music. My time to work on class choreography and solo music. It makes me not want to give her the key back tomorrow. =)

In the beginner's class, we went over the first dance that I ever learned. It was fun to break it down and go through it again. If nothing else, it reminded me of where I was in my life when I learned that dance for the first time... I had little to no self-esteem.... Even though I had lost approximately 45-50 pounds at that point, I wasn't happy with my body... I didn't even think that I could do belly dance let alone, less than a year later, perform 3 solos and teach a class! I guess that's one of the things about life, if you allow it, good things can come out of bad situations.

I guess that's just something that I have to keep reminding myself - - good things can come from not so great situations. Only time will tell what those things are going to be... While it's difficult to be patient, it's a necessary evil of being a grown-up.... Sigh....