Two days...

Two days.  That's all that it took was two days.  After two days at work this past week, it feels as if I wasn't away from work for a week learning about myself and the idea that I was going to have a better time of things at work.  Not only have I needed to jump back into working too many hours (Tuesday and Wednesday I worked from 6 am until after 9 pm, Friday I worked from 5:40 am until after 11 pm, and then I worked yesterday from 7:45 am until 3 pm).  When I got back from my conference, we had a visit from someone from the regional office and told us some recommendations she would make for where I work.  My boss took that to the absolute extreme, made me spend thousands of dollars on supplies (and according to the boss, not only did I not spend enough I bought the wrong stuff), rearrange the entire programming area to her specifications all to prepare for our inspector who showed up on Friday (and he'll be in the building until Tuesday this week or so).  I have always known my boss to go bananas right before an inspection such as this but I have never seen her throw this kind of, lack for better way to describe it, temper tantrum like a little kid would...

Through these interactions with her this week, not only did my staff and I have to rearrange the entire building and introduce new items that the kids have no clue how to use in our environment right as the inspection is happening, she also decided to hit below the belt in how she was talking to me.  She reduced herself to name calling and making other comments (such as "what have you been doing over the last three years down here?!") and people have questioned why I didn't say anything to her.  When faced with a situation such as this, I shut down and then completely internalize the things that were said; leaving me feeling as if I was chopped into itty bitty pieces and those pieces were left for wolves to gobble up.

My Mom made a comment when I was talking with her today that seemed rather appropriate - there has been lots going on in the family lately (much of which hasn't even made it onto my blog since it's not all of my information to share) and it feels as if we are slowly being pecked to death by ducks.  I know that there are lots of tragic situations happening all around the world but my family has been faced with lots of trials and tribulation this year and we are all just ready for it to just stop.  Just a few of the things that have occurred is - finding yesterday that one of my dearest high school friends has been diagnosed with some weird type of lung cancer, one of my nephews this morning had to go to the hospital with a touch of baby pneumonia and this past week my Grandma was in the hospital due to a bug she picked up.  I have heard all of the sayings - "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," "God doesn't give you more than you can handle," "when God closes a door, he opens a window," etc. but at this point, I just want to throw my hands up and say, "enough is enough already!  I am stronger, I can't handle anymore and I am ready to jump out of said window...."

I think what makes all of this worse (or at least makes it seem worse) is feeling as if my conference from two weeks ago, feels as if it was a lifetime ago.  From enjoying time with my friend, her family, and learning the things I did, it really was one of those "mountain top experiences" and it granted me the opportunity to see things about myself in a different perspective.  The trouble with said "mountain top experience" is they can leave you extremely vulnerable to either falling or being pushed off the top of the mountain; only to get badly hurt/injured as you fall down the side of the mountain as you can't stop the momentum once it's been started.  Because of what's occurred at work this past week, I feel as if I haven't yet come to a stop after being pushed by my boss off the mountain top and I haven't been able to ascertain what my injuries are yet...

Well, my dear readers, as I attempt to gather my muchness in preparation for whatever challenges I may face this week, I should probably bring this to a close.  I know that I have at least two days of inspection this week, am short staffed due to a staff member calling out with her son being sick, dance class, a staff meeting, choir practice and all the while attempting to keep my sanity - we'll see how well all of that works...  If it doesn't end up working, I would like my straight jacket to be fuchsia with sparkles on it.  Thanks for joining me; sorry this was kind of a depressing post but I feel as if I needed to get this off my chest...