Under the Microscope

Well, the inspection team arrived at work this past week and things are different this year than they were last year - last year, there were three people on the team and the inspection lasted 2.5 days; this year, there are two people on the team and the inspection is going to last 4.5 days (two days at the infant - preschool building and two days at my school age building and then the out brief meeting).  The inspectors have already spent one day at my building but they will be inspecting things tomorrow as well.  So far the duo has been helpful and has trained us on some things while they're here but as of this moment, I don't have a feeling on how things are going overall other than I'm under their microscope.

Last year for our inspection score, we ended up receiving a 82% (national average for this inspection was 83%).  I am definitely hoping for a better score this year but I won't even know the preliminary score until Tuesday morning during the out brief.  The other building received a score of 94% (or one or two percentage points around that number) so I was hoping to give them a run for their money this year; but I just don't know which direction our score might be headed...  I know the score itself is not the most important thing but I do want us to do better than last year.  When we were inspected last year, I had only been the director for about 6 months, this time it's been me for the whole year so I'm hoping that makes a difference...

One of the things that does make me feel good about the inspection team is one of the members, through us talking, told me that they love my personality and that I shouldn't change for anyone.  That definitely made me feel good since there are times I wonder if I should act differently since I am in management...  Knowing that an inspector, who sees lots of different directors in different parts of the country, loves my personality and how I come across helped me know that I'm at least doing that right.  Even just hearing those words was enough to give me a spark of muchness and know that I absolutely need to allow me to shine through; I've been trying to shove me into a box again and I have a feeling that's why I've been struggling...

Yesterday the dance troupe that I'm a part of had the opportunity to dance at a restaurant show.  This is a very casual gig that we participate at as a group at least once a year (and I've been invited to solo many times).  We got there yesterday and the person who was planning on dancing first, her CD wouldn't play.  My instructor asked if I would then do my solo.  As I was dancing, my instructor and the other dancer were right by the stage talking and listening to clips of new pieces of music to find a piece for her to dance to.  I was working with my sword and found it very dangerous/distracting for them to be right next to the stage talking/listening to music.  While I can't imagine how the other dancer felt because her music didn't work, I felt it was hurtful and disrespectful for them to try and find a new piece of music while I was trying to perform.  Maybe this is something I just need to embrace and learn from it...

One of the things I need to remind myself is that I need to stop trying to let other people define me.  Rather than just brushing off what was going on during my solo yesterday, I let it affect my performance and my dance suffered; not only did my solo suffer but so did the duet/trio/group dances that I also participated in.  Instead than letting the pressure get to me, I should embrace my muchness and keep moving on; with dance, with work, with my life.  Right now, I'm letting other people define my muchness and that needs to change - not at some undefined moment in history, but now.  I need to retake to control of me and my muchness.

Well my dear readers, I'm going to bring this to a close for the evening so I can hopefully get some rest tonight before my inspection day tomorrow.  I hope when muchness opportunities come your way that you're able to embrace them with both hands and run with it!  =)