Take care of you

"You really need to learn how to take better care of yourself" is a phrase I heard from different people this week.  I had worked an 8.5 hour day a week ago yesterday (yes, on a Saturday) so I was supposed to take some time off from work this past week; that didn't happen.  Something had come up unexpectedly for one of my coworkers and I granted them the time off that they needed based on their situation and I stayed at work.  I also didn't feel well this past week (lost my voice and everything) and the day that I was told that I should go home and rest, there were too many fires popping up at work for me to leave.  I know that I really need to learn to get to the point where I say the fires aren't real, will still be waiting for me when I get back to work, and I should take the time off that I need to.  This upcoming weekend is supposed to be a four day weekend but we'll see if that ends up happening or not (my boss potentially wants to have a meeting on Friday so I may have to go into work).

There are times where I feel as if I'm so busy taking care of everyone else around me that I forget that I need to be taken care of too.  I mentioned this past week to see if anyone else has ever felt where they've had one of those days where you think you're fine and then things hit you like a ton of bricks?  This past week, I would have been found under the rubble of the brick wall.  I'm not trying to be overly pessimistic, I just felt as if I had one thing after another continually pilling up on me this past week.  At one point I tried blaming it on the wasband (since this past week was the six year mark of him leaving) but realized that didn't make me feel better and I actually have come to the point where I don't want to even acknowledge that he's currently having any sort of an effect on my life whatsoever....

I know that may be easier said than done because there are times that I'll think everything is going along fine and something will trigger a memory and take me right back to that place after he left.  I don't necessarily like realizing or admitting that fact.  I need to get to a place in my life where I can acknowledge the role he played in it, shake myself free from it all and move on.  I need to focus on the good things going on this time of year rather than the the choice that he made to leave.  I also need to start focusing more on the things that I've been able to accomplish for myself since he's been gone.

I currently have the TV on in the background while I write and something in a commercial just caught my attention.  I know, I know....  I've written in the past how much I hate commercials but like I said, this one just happened to catch my attention (even though I don't really know what the commercial was about) with the saying,  "have no regrets; have a story."  If someone started reading my blog now, what would they read?  Would they read about someone who has regrets or would they read about someone who has a story to tell?  That's something that I definitely want to think about in the near future - I want it to read as if I have a story to tell.

One of the things I want to start doing with my story is to not worry as much about what other people think or what they might have to say about my decisions.  It's my life, my decisions and my story to tell.  Sure, as some people read it, they might choose to skip a chapter or two or they might decide to stop reading all together.  I'm okay with either of those honestly.  As an avid reader, I have started reading some books that I have either waited years to finish or I've not finished at all.  Even if I didn't finish the story, I give credit to the author for putting themselves out there and to tell the story that they wanted to tell...

On that note my dear readers, I'm going to bring this particular chapter to a close and head to bed.  This upcoming work week, while only three days, they are potentially going to be some long ones for me since the kids are out of school and we're open from 7 am until 6 pm.  Wish me luck...  Dream big; write your stories; embrace your individual muchness; and take care of you!  =)