Alive vs. LIVING

An interesting thought/perspective has cropped up several times this week so I think I'm supposed to write about it this week -- that thought/perspective is being alive vs. living your life.  As long as we draw breath, we have the opportunity to decide if we're just going to do nothing but breathe for the rest of our lives or if we're going to go out there and truly LIVE.  I'll admit that I have gone through different points of my life where it's been all I can do to keep taking breath after breath.  I don't want to do that any more -- I'm ready to really get out there and live my life.

I think I've intermittently gone beyond just breathing and have put myself out there to truly live my life but I have then brought myself back to just breathing.  I don't want to keep participating in that back and forth; honestly it's exhausting.  I'm going to start taking steps to find out what it means for me to live my life.  I believe what it takes to live is different for all of us - breathing is the same for all of us, it's what connects us.  I think living life though is individual to each and every one of us.

It's just like letting our freak flags fly - we can all fly one but what's on them is individual to each and every one of us.  This is something else that I want to explore...  I feel as if lately I've talked a really good game about looking for opportunities to let my freak flag fly but when those opportunities arise, I tend to stop myself.  There are times where I've talked myself out of it in the moment and other times I've looked back and realized that I let an opportunity to fly my freak flag pass me by.  I need to make more of a conscious effort to let others see the "real" me.

I know I've written before about not knowing fully who the "real" me is, however I think I would have a better understanding of that me if I let her out more.  I'm not sure why I've been trying so hard to hide her away because I really feel people would like the "real" me if I allowed that side of me to show.  But then again, why am I so worried about what other people think?  I'm the one who has to live with me, so my opinion is really the only one that should matter, right?  This is something that I'm definitely going to work on.

I think maybe I'm writing some of these things to not only remind myself of them but to maybe remind/encourage some of you, my dear readers, as well.  This time of year can get the best of us and we get so wrapped up in things that may not even matter in the long run.  People may or not remember in a year or so what you bought them for the holidays; you won't remember what "Black Friday"/"Cyber Monday" deals you did or didn't get; but if you work on yourself that's a gift you give to yourself (and those who love you).

I know that people tend to focus on themselves after the first of the year and the whole New Year's Resolution thing.  I think this year however, I'm going to give myself a gift this Christmas - I'm going to give myself the gift of permission.  Permission to be myself.  Permission to let my freak flag fly.  Permission to show "me" to those around me (and resist the temptation to apologize for it).  As the month goes on, I'll let you know how that's working for me...

Well my dear readers, I should probably think about going to bed (after enjoying this nice, long 4 day weekend for me) in order to prepare for the work week ahead.  Try your best (and I'll do the same) to let those freak flags fly this week!  And remember to LIVE not just be alive!  =)