Say something hat...

I had an epiphany this past week...  I have watched the movie "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Numar" I don't know how many times and I just now understood one of the lines.  I now have an understanding of what it meant when Vida (Patrick Swayze) said, "Tomorrow I think I'll wear a say something hat!"  I don't have a "say something hat," however, I decided to get a "say something haircut" which is different than any other haircut I have ever had.  My Mom and I have been talking about my hair; what I like about it and what I really haven't liked about it (I have had variations of the same hairstyle for the last 10 years or so and I have decided that it has made me look/feel older than I actually am).  Mom found a picture of a hairstyle and before she showed it to me gave me a disclaimer of her own saying, "Now this hairstyle is really funky and you wouldn't have to go this funky if you don't want to but it's an idea for you to think about..."  When she showed me the photo, I fell in love with it!  The next day, I took the photo to a hair salon and they were only too happy to give me the cut/style that I asked for.  I think it has surprised people (and it will continue to do so I think because not everyone has seen it yet and I am playing around with adding different temporary colors to it) but I still love it! ("I think that's heathy" -- movie quote)

I think this new (and very different) hairstyle for me has definitely helped allow me to let my freak flag fly.  Looking back now, I am very glad that I didn't listen to the quiet voice inside that was saying "but what if people don't like it?  Are you sure you want to go that far outside your comfort zone?"  My sister actually sent me something today that goes along with that - "move out of your comfort zone.  You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and you try something new."  Since I started my campaign of letting my own freak flag fly, I am attempting to give myself that permission to go outside my comfort zone and say "so what!" if people may not approve of something that I do.  Yes, there are still times where I may question some decision and wonder if other people may approve but I need to learn to make those types of decisions for me and me alone.

I think that if I can start to make decisions (and stick by those decisions - not necessarily feeling as if I need to justify them), I can remove some of the stress from my life (or at least enough to help me be able to sleep at night).  This past week of being on vacation has left me with lots of opportunities to put this into practice.  If I've wanted to do something, I've done it.  If I've wanted to swim, I jump in the pool.  If I've wanted to take a nap, I've done so.  Now with doing all of this, I haven't felt as if I've needed to ask permission of anyone or that I've really had to justify my decisions/actions and I think that might have a great deal with how I'm sleeping at night.  I have averaged probably about just over 7 hours of sleep every night [and granted, some of that might be because I've been spending so much time in the pool and helping to look after one of my 1 year old nephews and I took one full day and spent it with my 5.5 year old nephew -- not that I'm trying to justify my sleep patterns ;) ] and that's way more sleep than I usually get.  This is maybe something that I need to incorporate into my day to day routine when my vacation comes to an end but we'll see if I'll be able to continue that pattern or not.

I know that I shouldn't bring work home with me (not the things I may bring home and work on but the stressors from the day) and that would help my inability to sleep at night I think.  I am the only one who can change that and I think that's going to have to be something that I look at as each day comes to a close.  "Did I do my best with everything I did today?  If there was something I would change, is worrying about it going to help or do I just need to go in with a new/different attitude and accomplish it the next day?"  Only time (and effort) will see if this new perception may help out my sleep patterns any.

Well, speaking of sleep patterns, my dear readers, I think it might be that time to bring this to a close yet again.  I hope we all have opportunities to let our freak flags fly and to do so without limiting ourselves with worrying what others might say/think.  Best of luck to us all!