Back to reality...

Well, my dear readers, I am back to writing in my "natural habitat" as my vacation came to an end...  While I was on vacation, I feel as if I found some parts of me that have been lost/buried for I don't know how long.  I think some of finding those pieces had something to do with the permission I gave myself while I was there.  Because I was visiting family, I didn't feel as if I had pressures to act a certain way or be anyone other than myself (it's a good thing my family has always encouraged us to express who we are since I ended up with a very unique hairstyle while there and a new arm tattoo as well).

I think part of the relief that comes from being on vacation is there was very little "expected" of me while I was there.  I didn't have a set time to wake up each day (although it was about the same time each day that I woke up and it was usually just before one of my nephews - who my Mom watches - was dropped off each morning).  I didn't have a schedule to follow for most of the days I was there (I had two dance workshop days, a "date" to take my 5.5 year old nephew to the zoo, and two days I got together with my sister - one of those days was the day I got my tattoo).  It was just a wonderful opportunity to be "me" and not be judged for it.

I guess one of the things I'll have to remember as I head back into "reality" tomorrow is that feeling of being me.  As I venture forth into the day to day of work and dance and everything else I feel like I need to do I need to be me while I accomplish all of these things.  If people don't like me, I need to stop feeling the need to justify myself or explain myself and just let that freak flag of mine fly.  If I hide myself away (as I feel I've been doing), it's going to be more and more difficult to remember that feeling of freedom and all of the stress of the world I place on myself will come crashing back.  I don't know that I necessarily want that to happen again...

When I was visiting with family, I had the opportunity to have some really good conversations with my parents (the three of us together and then individually - just me and my Mom and just me and my Dad). During these conversations, some things were put into a different perspective for me and they also gave me some things to think about.  One such conversation even provided Dad with the opportunity to use one of his famous quotes -- "isn't it fun to be a grown up?"  My response?  It all depends on the day...  As I think about some of the different viewpoints they offered up, some of it may end up on here -- I guess it all depends on where my quest leads me...

There are times I do feel bad/guilty for always using my parents as a sounding board but that's what happens when I don't really feel as if I have anyone else I can talk to.  I'm thinking that I might end up using this as a forum to look at different sides of situations and not just dumping it on them all the time. Yes, they read what I write but they won't have to hear me whining so much over the phone.  ;)   [love you guys!!]

After looking at the clock, I think it's time I should bring this to a close since I'm back to work very early tomorrow morning and I'm sure that I'll have a full day after being gone for two weeks.  Once again, dear readers, thanks for letting me ramble on and I hope your week presents you with the opportunity to let your freak flags fly and to show your muchness to the world (and I write that for myself as well!).