"Looks like plant food to me..."

I have decided that there are those people that it would be okay to feed them to a giant, hungry plant...  I'm just saying...  If you have no idea what I could possibly be referring to, that means you have never seen "Little Shop of Horrors" and along with that don't know the premise that there are those certain people who you may determine should be plant food...  There have been some interactions with people over the last week that I have felt that if I only had a giant, hungry plant that these people just might qualify in the category of "plant food."  I know that may seem a little sick and twisted but even the thought of it helped to get me through the interaction/situation and that's what I thought was important.

I'm not sure what has sparked me going from feeling as if I've been road kill at work to wishing I could feed people to a giant plant but I have a feeling that those interactions are linked.  I know that I need to find a way to stop bringing the stresses from work home with me because I feel as if I'm making myself sick because of it.  Because I've been bringing said work stress home, I haven't worked out as I should be and while I haven't gained weight, I've been maintaining my current status (which I'm not happy with).  I know that the beating myself up isn't helping either and that's why I feel as my fuse has been shorted at work.  Now that I know that it's all linked, I have to find a way to break this vicious circle/vortex that I find myself in...

Once again I'm going to say that I need to look at finding the balance I need for my life.  I find myself looking at the balancing scales and seeing them severely unbalanced.  The wants/needs of those around me very much so outweigh the wants/needs of myself.  I don't know why I keep allowing that to happen (and I know the key of that is I'm allowing it to happen) but I need to find a way to make my wants/needs if not more important as the wants/needs of others, at least equal to them.  Yes, I have written this before but I am really going to try and hold myself accountable this time and make it stick.  I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet but I'm going to do it.  I NEED to do it.

Maybe one of the things I need to do is related to something I heard somewhere (I'm not exactly sure who said it or where I heard it...) -- I heard someone mention "letting your freak flag fly."  I think I am once again trying to conform to the mold that others are trying to shove me into and it's not working out so well for me.  I need to find a way to allow my own freak flag fly in whatever manner I need to allow that to happen.  [If you have any particular thing that works for you, dear readers, I wouldn't mind hearing about it!  =)  ]

Well, dear readers, I think the time has come once again for me to log off for this evening.  I'm going to try and clear the thoughts of wanting to feed people to giant, hungry plants and try to replace those thoughts instead with how to make my freak flag fly!  I wish you luck along your own personal quests/journeys this week!  =)