Speechless

I had a conversation with someone this week that ended up leaving me speechless...  Another person and I were having a conversation and she told me that she only wanted good things for me and hoped that I could wish the same for myself.  While that is a good thought, I'm not entirely sure how.  I know that I've written before about not knowing how to make myself a priority.  Other than a few years of doing the teenage thing and being totally self absorbed, I have been a people pleaser.  In being a people pleaser, that often means I put myself and my wants/needs after the wants/needs of those around me.


Maybe part of not going after my wants/needs is due to a fear of thinking that I had what I thought I wanted and it was then go in an instant.  It's not that I don't want some of those same things again I just don't know how to go after those things.  The person I was talking to suggested that I work on visualizing and maybe even creating some collages (by flipping through magazines, cutting out images that strike me and randomly gluing them together - - looking at it when I feel as if it's finished and concentrate on the result).  Now I'm not sure about all of that but I do agree that maybe I do need to spend some time being introspective and looking for some answers for myself.


I had another conversation with someone this past week and they asked me when I was going to get out there and start dating again.  I never know how to respond to questions like that.  I don't want to meet someone at a bar, the church I attend is comprised of mostly older or married people and I don't tend to run into any single guys where I work.  While I know dating websites work for some people, I just don't know how I feel about them.  I mean you have to base your opinion of someone by what they write (and in my opinion is much easier to tell if someone is telling the truth or not when you're face to face) and by photos (and the photos could be from ten years ago for all you know).  In that sense, I just don't know if the whole online dating thing is for me or not.  Since I'm not sure about online dating and my life is so busy, I don't know at this point how/when I'm going to meet someone unless someone I know fixes me up with someone to date.  No one I know has taken me up on that as of yet so we'll see if it happens or not.


Another experience that left me speechless this past week is the Mom of the child who sent my glasses flying approached me and asked if HR was going to cover my lenses or not.  When I told her HR's ruling, she said that she and her husband would be paying for them since it indirectly was their fault.  I was floored.  Yes, I feel it is the right thing for her to do to offer but I am still amazed sometimes when people do step up and take responsibility for their (or their children's) actions.  Don't get me wrong -- I am very appreciative to the fact that I don't have to replace the scratched lenses but I didn't necessarily want to hope that the parent's would cover them either.  I guess there are times where people can still surprise you.


One more speechless experience that I will share with you from this past week happened last night.  The dance studio last night was once again transformed into a nightclub and we held a Casbah.  Some of my fellow troupe members opened the show with a troupe choreography and then I was the first soloist of the evening.  I danced to two pieces of music (totaling just over 10 minutes in length --- my longest solo to do); the first piece is a new piece of music I have been working with and the second piece is my go to sword dance.  In the first piece of music, I ended up using a veil (which is something that I don't typically do) and also danced a short drum solo (which is something else I don't tend to do).  Today I got photos from my dance instructor's husband and I was floored.  While I know the photos are of me -- it's easy for me to see the person in the photos as someone else since that's not the "me" I see in the mirror.  I guess that's something that I will have to continue to work on.


Well, since I went to the eye doctor today and had a contact lens fitting (something I haven't had done in a few years since I have found contacts to be uncomfortable until the pair I received today) I should probably sign off and think about relaxing before bed.  Maybe I'll stitch for awhile on the seemingly never-ending baby blanket I am working on for my brother and sister-in-law since their new little one is due to arrive in a couple of weeks.  YAY!  Goodnight!  =)