I have once again found myself very much so overworked, over extended, and over stressed. I know that all three of these would be very easily solved if I just learned how to say the word "no;" even if it is just using the word "no" on an occasional basis. I often find myself agreeing to something even before I have had a chance to really think through what exactly I'm agreeing to since saying "sure" or "yes" seems to be so ingrained in me. I'm not entirely sure when this strong desire to always say "yes" to things has come from but there are times where I wish that desire had an on/off switch.
Another trait of mine that I wish had an on/off switch is my dislike to saying "good-bye." I think having this trait is one of the reasons why I have had such trouble with the divorce. As my Dad pointed out today, the wasband and I have now been separated for more than half the time we were married yet I am finding myself bothered by the date this coming Tuesday (it is the date we were married). Let me say again, I do NOT want the wasband back but I do miss having someone else in the house (like today for example, I was hungry but it just seemed too much of an effort to make something to eat - it would have been nice to ask someone else to cook for me). I think in this aspect, I am going to attempt to set a limitation on myself - - within the next year, I would like to not have these dates bother me so much. I know that it may or may not be a possibility but I would like to attempt to make this goal for myself. I am looking to you, dear readers, to help hold me accountable to this goal.
I'm not entirely sure yet how I am going to help hold myself accountable to this goal but I would seriously like to work on this aspect of self. I know that I will never truly be able to move on until I have accomplished this. I know that I still may have ups/downs, good days and bad days but I believe that I will be able to overcome all of this and not have it define me anymore.
I know that if I don't start to set this limitation on myself I may never get beyond the choices that I made as well as choices that were made that were out of my control. I don't want the feeling of things being beyond my control anymore. I do know that in order to do this though I am going to reach past my level of comfort and realize that if I am going to have others respect me and what I have to say, I am going to have to start putting those limitations on those around me. I know that I can't control what others do/say but I can set limitations on how I will allow or not allow them to take advantage of me.
I realize that none of these limitations (directed towards myself or others) is going to be easy but if it was easy, I know that I personally would not appreciate it as much. In some ways I am ready for my life to quiet down a bit but I think that also falls under not appreciating it as much. If nothing else, I can definitely say that my life is not a boring one! Take care and I think this blogger is going to prepare myself for the insanity the week ahead holds in store for me...
No comments:
Post a Comment