Progress?

Wow. I find it amazing to believe that I have been belly dancing for two years now. There are still times that feels like just yesterday I timidly entered the studio for my first lesson and look at me now! I have performed with the troupe (in I don't know how many shows), performed I don't know how many solos (including with a sword), taught belly dance class when my instructor has had to miss and have moved my way to being a front row dancer. Not too bad in my opinion! =)

I wish at times I felt as if I was making the same type of progress in other aspects of my life.... Don't get me wrong, I know that I am making progress and I'm definitely am not in the same place I was a year ago (or two or three years ago) but I guess I selfishly want more. I wish I was further along in my emotional journey but I know that will take time. Any time I feel as if I am making said progress, life seems to get in the way and I feel like it takes all that's in me to not take more than a step or two backwards. I do better than that some days than others...

I know that another thing for me to work on is to not sell myself short on the progress that I have made (as I have a tendency to do). I often find it easier to apologize for where I see my shortcomings as opposed to taking credit for the accomplishments that I have made. I tend to downplay what I have accomplished and I can say that I have definitely done that more in the last number of years (even when I was still married).

This is especially difficult in terms of the weight I have lost as opposed to weight that I still want/need to lose. I know that I have made tremendous progress in terms of losing weight and keeping it off, however there are still times I see the "old" me when I look in the mirror. I know that other people don't see it but unfortunately I still do. Maybe, no matter what weight goals I reach I will sometimes still see myself in the mirror that way but I just have to work towards seeing the new way as well. I think one of the things that will help is wearing clothes that actually fit as well as clothes that are more my age. I know that for work I need to buy clothes that are durable and are easy to wash but I don't have to look so frumpy when doing so. I think I just need to start getting some quality pieces (even if that means spending a little more upfront) and changing the look based on what accessories I wear with the outfit and maybe that will help. Only time will tell, I guess. (one more thing I need to start saving my pennies for...)

At least one problem that I was going to have to save pennies for has seemingly (knock on wood) corrected itself. Actually I had to change something I was doing.... I have been writing on and off about my car's check engine light coming on as I was driving. Turns out I was keeping my foot on the clutch too long, popping the clutch, and that's what was causing the light to come on. Now that I know it, I have changed how I drive and the light has (so far) stayed off. Now that I have written about it, I know that it's going to start acting up again but at least I'm prepared. Fingers crossed that it behaves itself though! =)

Well, since I have belly dancing to work on as well as a crazy busy upcoming week, I should probably sign off for tonight. We'll see what kinds of things this week has in store for me... =)