I choose me......

Last week I wrote about emotions and I have had quite a few emotional moments this last week... This past week held some different 'anniversaries' for me and they all had to do with my wasband... This past Monday would have been my 7 year anniversary; Wednesday marked the two year point of when I received the divorce papers and a year ago Friday I received the papers from the court telling me the divorce had been finalized. I am glad the week is over.....

Yes, I had some moments that were overly emotional but I survived the week and that's all I can do. All I can really do is keep doing what I'm doing and keep moving forward. Yes, I still may stumble and fall along the way but I have to remember that I am still making progress (even if/when I don't necessarily feel as if I'm making progress). I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm nowhere near where I was when this whole mess started...

After my wasband left, I had to take a good hard look into who I am as a person and honestly take a look at what I did/didn't like about myself. Over the last two years, I have had the opportunity to stay who I was (someone who had allowed others to pigeonhole me into a box that contained their version of "me") or change. That simple. I had the choice and I chose to change. There are still parts of the 'old' me that it will still take time to move away from but I'm honestly starting to like the me that's emerging.

As I've written about before, I have always been a bit of a people pleaser (okay, more than just a bit of a people pleaser...). But, I'm starting to realize that I also have to work on helping myself in that mix as well. I can't take care of others if I let myself fall to the wayside. No, I don't want to become totally self-absorbed but I do need to do things for myself at times. Like yesterday, I bought myself two new tops, a pair of jeans and two new pairs of earrings. When I was trying on the clothes, I thought I looked really good (something I don't think very often at all about myself).

The good thing is, once again, I am realizing that I don't have to have all of the answers right now. It's okay that I'm a work in progress. I might just have to keep telling myself that.... =)