The one year point...

Well, yesterday marked the one year "anniversary" of coming home after work to find a letter stating that my wasband "couldn't take things anymore." Not fully realizing what that meant (I honestly thought that he meant that we needed to make a change not that he had left me for good), I changed out of my work clothes and settled in to relax until he got home (that morning before he and I both left for work, I asked if he was going to be home after work and he said, no, that it would be after physical therapy and that he loved me and had to go to work).

While settling in to relax, I decided to write some thoughts down in response to his letter so we could discuss things when he got home. I decided to do my writing sitting on our bed and I remember at one point wanting to know what time it was and automatically looking towards his alarm clock... It wasn't there. I then noticed other things that weren't where they were supposed to be - his laptop, some random clothes (then I began to look in other rooms), his razor and other bathroom items, some books, and a suitcase. I thought that was all pretty odd so I tried calling him with no answer. So I sent him a text message, still no answer. It then hit me that his letter stating "he couldn't take things anymore" might possibly mean he was leaving (still thinking this was only temporary).

When it finally did hit me that he was gone and not coming back (and that honestly wasn't until after I received the divorce papers), I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I could trust to be the truth (my wasband and I told each other that we would NEVER end our marriage in divorce - - guess he must have had his fingers crossed or something....).

Looking back at this past year, I am shocked at how far I have come (not only physically - thank you weight loss; but emotionally as well - I have moved outside my comfort zone and am going, by myself, to belly dance class). Time really has continued to move on...

There are times where I can't believe it's already been a year and then at other times I catch myself saying I can't believe it's only been one year.... If nothing else, I think it shows progress since yesterday, I wanted to send the wasband a "happy anniversary" message but didn't.

We'll just have to see in what other paths my journey leads me down. As long as I can shimmy, it should be fun at least..... =)